Which way sounds better?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: which is better?
    Style 1 : (21 votes)
    43 %
    Style 2 : (28 votes)
    57 %
    Other ( give option) : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    1527 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    And write small number on back so you can figure out any obscure responses.

    Post # 4
    1560 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @oxstardust421xo:  I think it depends. Are you have a no-kid wedding? Then I would use the second one. Mine was similar to the first and I have no problems with it. The PP was right though, create a spreadsheet and number each card, then track who you sent it to…in case you get this back:

    Post # 6
    1560 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @oxstardust421xo:  I was able to identify exactly who sent it in 2 seconds, thanks to the little number on the back of the card. 🙂

    Post # 7
    10748 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Second one! Helps to curb those guest-adders. 

    Post # 8
    789 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    @oxstardust421xo:  I vote for the second option, and I agree with the tiny # on the back which corresponds to the guests on a spread sheet.  I just addressed 31 out of 75 invites (rewarding myself with a glass of wine), and I put a # on all of the RSVP cards!!!

    This is what is on my RSVPs if you’re curious/looking for other options  

    Please Respond by December 18th, 2013


    _Accepts With Pleasure _ Declines With Regret

    Number Attending ___

    Please Initial Next to Entree Choice

    _ Option 1 _ Option 2 _Option 3

    Post # 9
    812 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo

    I 1,000% agree with numbering your RSVP cards. We used a spreadsheet for people’s addresses, what gift they sent (this was more helpful for stuff that was mailed), if we had sent a thank you note, etc. But adding a number to each saved us emarrassment 2 or 3 times.

    Ours was worded:

    we have reserved __ seats in your honor.


    _accepts with pleasure

    _declines with regrets


    We thought no room left for secret guests, and it worked out fine.

    Post # 10
    10877 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    The etiquette experts whom I consulted when planning my response cards advised me not to use language that presumed that I knew how the guests felt about accepting or declining the invitation.  They discouraged me from using phrases such as “accepts with pleasure” or “declines with regret” and instead encouraged me to use neutral language such as “______will attend” and “_____unable to attend.”

    Regarding your second example, I am not a proponent of language that promises  guests that the hosts have reserved a certain number of seats in the guests’ honor before the guests have even informed the hosts that the guests will be attending the event. I understand the reason some people choose to do this. However, I believe this language creates the potential for more problems than it may help to prevent.

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