Post # 1
We received a text from DH’s aunt last night that said “B is going to the courthouse on August 10 and we are having a family party at our house after. If you guys can make it into town we would love if you came!” Problem is that their house is 7 hours away (in Wisconsin and we live in Ohio) and we have a wedding (for a good friend) that same day that we RSVPed to over a month ago.
We are really stuck on what to do. DH has a whole bunch of reasons why we shouldn’t go:
– Long drive. We’ve driven back to Wisconsin 6 times already this year and will be driving back at least 3 more times
– He really wants to go to our friends wedding
– He isn’t close to his cousin
– They will be having a reception a couple days after Christmas (which we will be in Wisconsin for)
– We wouldn’t be witnessing the actual marriage
I think we should go but I don’t really want to make the drive either :/ I’m close to my cousins so I can’t imagine skipping a cousin’s wedding. We’re driving back in November for my cousin’s wedding and I feel like it’s rude to drive back for one but not the other. Also, his cousin flew from CA to WI with his SO for our wedding so I feel like a measly drive shouldn’t be sop daunting. On the other hand I feel badly that we already RSVPed to our friend but as the bride I would understand someone changing plans for a family wedding (especially since counts haven’t been given to the caterer yet).
I’m so stuck bees. I feel like we really should go as he is family but I understand why DH doesn’t want to make that drive.
Post # 3
Absolutely go to your friend’s wedding. I wouldn’t miss a friend’s wedding that I had previously commited to for a cousin I am not close with, ESPECIALLY if they’re having a reception later in the year. They gave you NO notice about this wedding so it obviously wasn’t that important to them that you show up.
Post # 4
You have already RSVP’d to your friend’s wedding so I think you should go to that one. Sending out a text message for a wedding (even a casual one) with that little notice they have to expect some people may alreay have made plans. Especially if they are having a second reception at Christmas that you will be able to attend.
Post # 5
Thank you bees! I just feel a bit bad because his mom was upset when we told her that we were considering not going. I think you make great points about short notice meaning that they know that people may already have plans.
Post # 6
It’s DH’s family, if he’s ok with missing it, go to your friends wedding! You already RSVP’d and this was a last minute text. They know that most people will not be able to come. Go celebrate with your friends!
Post # 7
You already committed to your friends wedding, so that is the one you should go to. Also, the decision should really be your DHs I think since it’s his cousin.
Post # 8
I would just emphasize that you will be attending the reception later on in the year and that you already have committed to another wedding– you can’t help that the notice they gave you was so short!
Post # 9
The polite thing to do is always to honor the commitment you made first. It is unfortunate that the weddings are the same day, but you are already busy on the day your cousin is getting married.
Post # 10
go to the friends wedding since you’ve already RSVP’ed
Post # 11
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
You already committed to going to your friend’s wedding, and your DH obviously cares more about that one anyway.
Post # 12
Your friend took the time to actually send you an invitation, which you responded to over a month ago vs. his aunt sent you a text a few weeks before.
This is your friend’s big day vs. the cousin will have a reception later.
It’s your FI’s cousin and he wants to go to the friend’s wedding vs. you think you should go to the cousin’s because of your relationship with your cousins, which has nothing to do with your FI’s relationship with his.
Friend’s wedding wins. Send the cousin a card or have flowers or something shipped to congratulate them.
Post # 13
I agree with PP’s; you can certainly honor the commitment you already made to your friends and attend that wedding. With such short notice – and the fact that you were invited by TEXT MESSAGE rather than by a phone call or physical invitation – you can’t be expected to attend.
Attending the reception at Christmas will be more than enough!
Post # 14
This: “If you guys can make it into town we would love if you came!” -Sounds like they realize that it may not be possible, you’ve already RSVP’d to the other wedding,
and “They will be having a reception a couple days after Christmas (which we will be in Wisconsin for)” So really -no big tough decision.
Post # 15
Another vote for the friend’s wedding.
Post # 16
Overwhelming amounts of votes for friend’s wedding! Guess we’ll be going to that one. I just hope MIL isn’t too angry with us :/