Post # 1
So I am invited to two weddings this year that are both on the same date. I don’t think it will be possible to drive to each wedding and make an appearance at both (that would mean 6 hours of driving in 1 day), so which one should I go to?
Wedding A – my cousin’s wedding. She is having the ceremony earlier that day and only the witnesses will be there. Then that evening she is having the reception at a fancy venue in Minneapolis. I’m sure the wedding will be extravagant because she is marrying into a wealthy family. I feel like I should go to this wedding because it is my cousin and she is family. Her and I have never been that close though (for some reason I think she is jealous of me because I have a close relationship with her mom who is my godmother). If I don’t go I’m sure there will be a backlash and she might dislike me even more. The fact that there isn’t a ceremony that we can see kind of makes me want to go to it less, but I shouldn’t hold that against her. I could have fun at this wedding celebrating with my other cousins. However, it is very typical that all of my family members will leave this wedding right after the dinner (Most of them left my wedding reception by 6pm and didn’t even say goodbye – it is what they always do at weddings!). It’s not really fun when everyone leaves early and I would hate to go all the way to this wedding just to be there for an 1.5 hour dinner. Then I will regret not going to wedding B instead.
Wedding B – my husband’s college friend’s wedding. My husband is a groomsmen in this wedding. Him and I are both close friends with the groom and his bride. This wedding would actually have a full ceremony and a full reception. I would have a ton of fun at this wedding because these people are our friends and my husband will be in the bridal party. But then again, I might be alone some of the time because my husband is in the bridal party. I could see us staying at this wedding all night though and dancing/drinking.
Such a tough decision. I hate the thought that my husband and I may have to split up and each go to the weddings separately.
Which wedding do you think I should go to?
Post # 3
I do understand the loyalty you feel toward you cousin because she’s family. How would your godmother and your mother feel if you didn’t attend? Because that’s what is probably most important. But, I’d probably go to the other wedding. If you guys aren’t close, she shouldn’t feel too offended. And considering your husband is in the other wedding, you can use that to your advantage. It sounds better than just choosing the other wedding with no excuse.
Post # 4
Wedding B. Whither thy husband goest… I mean, he’s a groomsman. I’m sure your relatives will understand that you needed to attend given that he’s IN the wedding.
Post # 5
i would go to the wedding where your husband is a groomsman. i would write a personal note to the cousin bride explaining, wishing her a lovely wedding blah blah blah and maybe her mom as well, considering you are so close to her
Post # 6
I think you should go to the one your husband is the groomsman in.
Post # 8
I would pick B, UNLESS 1) it would mean a lot to your godmother for you to be there (her, not your cousin), or 2) you rarely see all of your family.
I see all of my family about once every 2 or 3 years, so that is a big deal to me, and I would choose A in your situation. BUT, that is the only reason.
Post # 10
I can understand the sense of obligation you may feel about your cousins wedding, but I would go to the second wedding considering your husband is in it. Not because you can’t go anywhere without your hubby, but because you honestly don’t seem to excited to go to your cousin’s wedding, you are not very close, you know it would be for a short period of time and everyone would leave anyway…and if most of your family leaves after dinner and dind’t even say goodbye to you at your wedding it doesn’t sound if they really regard weddings as a very big deal anyway… Go to the other wedding with your husband, where you will both likely have a great time.
Post # 11
go to wedding B and just send a nice gift to wedding A. Thats all she wants is the gift anyways 🙂
Post # 12
If it were me, we’d probably split up with me going to Wedding A and FI going to Wedding B. But I am really close to my godmother and she would be devastated if I didn’t go to her daughter’s wedding.
Post # 13
I’d probably go to Wedding A, but I’m not so good at standing up for myself 🙁
So I guess that is to say… I think you should go to Wedding B! Just prepare for the fallout from your cousin (some of the above suggestions about a note, etc. are great ideas!!)
Post # 14
wedding b for lots of reasons! more fun and your hubby!
Post # 15
Yeah wedding B totally. And you have the excuse of being part of the wedding party…(sortof)
Post # 16
I hate to be the devils advocate here but I would go to wedding A. I hate conflict especially with family so I would hate the thought of my cousin being mad at me. You will have other weddings with your husband to go to but your cousin will only get married once, ya know? good luck!!