Which would you choose, grad school/career or baby?

posted 2 years ago in Married Life
Post # 2
Member
2197 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Personally, I got my graduate degree before TTC. It was important for me to be set in my career before trying. Just my experience. 

But I also went to grad school with many moms and pregnant women who made it work just fine.

This really is a discussion to talk through with your husband. 

Post # 5
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

NYBeee123:  To me it would be more important to start a family… providing you are financially stable. But it’s also been more of a priority for me to have a family.

Any way you could do LD for a while? Then you can do your degree and be ready for babies when you get back.

Post # 6
Member
2197 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

My advice would be to get your grad degree. I’ve seen many people put it off and regret it. Think about the loss of higher income for those years. Yes, your husband will be a little older, but not by much. 

Edit to add I think starting to TTC in second year sounds like a good compromise. Still get your degree and TTC earlier! Perfect!!

Post # 7
Member
2762 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Baby! I want to get pregnant so badly right now.  I just can’t because I have to wean off a medicine & it’s going to take me 6 months to do it. My husband and I have been together for 7 years, married for 3 months (i wasn’t in any rush whatsoever to get married). I’m just ready for the baby now. I nanny for my 6 month old nephew & taking care of him since he was born has brought me so much joy & many blessings…and great experience & preparation. It goes to show that we want what we can’t have 🙁

Post # 8
Member
42469 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

NYBeee123:It seems such a waste for you to be just marking time in Iceland. If school there is not an option, I presume because of language or their courses not being recognized here, could you not take online education from an American University?

Post # 9
Member
3346 posts
Sugar bee

Can you take some grad courses online while you’re in Iceland?

Post # 12
Member
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

are there any online social work programs that you could work through while living in Iceland? I only ask because I’m not sure how that field works, and I’m sure you have to do some sort of practicum to graduate, but maybe do the first year online during your second year in Iceland and then finish the last year back in the US. That way you can land a job and start TTC a bit sooner. 

I am still currently finishing undergrad, but what I’m hoping is that by the time I finish UG my SO will have a good enough job that we can start TTC while I work on my masters degree online. That way I can be home with the baby, but still feel like I’m working toward a goal. We want two kids relatively close in age, so I’m hoping to get kids out of the way while finishing up graduate school, possibly work part time while they’re young and then go full time once they’re in school full days. It’s also my hope that then I would be able to give my SO a year or two break from his job to pursue his masters or take time off if he is burnt out!

Post # 13
Member
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

Peanut-Sue:  I just read about you being a nanny, and wanting a baby so bad! I am a nanny, and everyone always comments on how my job is probably the best birth control, but it’s totally the opposite. Every time I’m with the boy I watch it just confirms to me that all I want is a baby! Even when he is being a total brat I don’t ever think, “wow maybe I should reconsider having kids.” 

Post # 14
Member
414 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - Country Cottage and Gardens

I’m starting school next month for my MSW so great to hear someone who wants to go into the same thing! We’re currently living in Orlando but the school is Boston. So I’m moving there September 1 and then my fiance is joining me in the end of December once he finishes grad school himself. <br /><br />I know my school (and I would assume most of them) lets people take proficiency exams for some of the core courses in order to opt out of them. So you could pick a school and find out which courses you could test out of. Then find a school that would let you take the courses online (you have to have taken an equivalent course in order to test out of it) and take that from Iceland. It would be awesome if you could test out of a full semester. Then if you returned home a semester early and got settled in (I know long distance isn’t ideal but what’s a few months?), you would have a whole year done of school. One year left and you could even start trying to conceive partway through that time and have the baby after you graduate. <br /><br />I know that’s sort of a complicated plan… But in the end I think you would prefer to have your degree out of the way before having any kids. 

Post # 15
Member
3195 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

beetee123:  

I think it depends how much you want to have a child.

If you are certain that you want to become a mother, there is nothing that will change your mind. 

I know that my past experiences as a nanny are some of the reasons I don’t want children. 

NYBeee123:  

What you choose to prioritize will influence your decision. If I was going to have kids, I would want to have my career in place first. 

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