Post # 1
So we’re 2 months away, out of invitations, and my parents keep coming up to me with “by the way, we’ve decided to invite so and so… you need to make more invitations”. When I say these are random people I mean they feel obligated to invite everyone who they mention the wedding to. This includes the guy who renovated their kitchen last summer. They haven’t seen or spoken to him in the months since then, they just happen to want him to work on the deck and they mentioned the wedding in passing. Neighbors we don’t speak to other than to say hello out of politeness. Co-workers they are not chummy with. Cousins who we haven’t spoken to since the last family wedding (5 years ago). I’m already receiving response cards from people I’ve never heard of. They nickeled and dimEd so many things that I had originally wanted (I’m not picky) but now they want to invite unnecessary guests at $70 a head. I fear they are gift grabbing and I am SO against that kind of behavior. What is going on here?
Post # 3
Ask them why! Are they paying?
Post # 5
@futuremrsk18: they are paying half. In laws are paying the other half. I will be mortified if Our guest list eclipses theirs. That would be so rude and embarrassing. I’ve tried asking them why they are doing this and their response is always “because we think it’s the right thing to do”. No actual explanation though. We haven’t gotten any declines thus far either so that list is Likely to just keep growing and growing.
Post # 6
I think you need to remind them that each person = $70. Ask them if the guy who renovated their kitchen is worth $140 to them.
Post # 7
@Aquaria: You may have to start making calls to these random people, “I’m so so sorry for the inconvenience, but my parents were misinformed about the seating capacity of our venue. By the time they asked if you’d like to come, we had already hit the maximum number of guests allowed at our wedding!” Or something along those lines.
Tough part is probably going to be getting numbers for these people though, since they likely didn’t leave one on their response card.
And it’s definitely time to tell Mom and Dad that unless they want to be 3/4 of the cost instead of 1/2, they better cut it out!
Post # 8
@Aquaria: Tell them that FI’s family has X amount and that’s the same amount that they have. Once they reach that limit, tell them you don’t care what the right thing to do is anymore. Also, tell them that they should be doing right by YOU, their DAUGHTER, and how YOU don’t want some random strangers at your WEDDING!
Post # 9
Ugh, that’s annoying. We had a requirement that we had to know and keep in touch with every person on our guest list (except for people’s +1s). We aren’t inviting super distant relatives that we’ve only met once or twice in our entire lives or people that are friends of friends of my parents. We’re having a small wedding though so we had to really narrow it and this was an easy way to do first round eliminations.
$70 a head is a lot for someone who isn’t even a friend to you or your family. I’d just remind them of the costs and say that its unreasonable.
Post # 10
I would tell them it’s not possible. If they continue to invite people you will have to uninvite them. Talk about embarrassing!
Post # 11
This doesnt help, but I cant help comment, HOW ANNOYING!
Post # 12
I would put my foot down. If you don’t personally know the person and want them there, they shouldn’t be there.
Or, if they insist, ask them for the $70 per person. That should shut them up.
Post # 13
@Aquaria: Simply say, “I would rather reserve my funds for people I know and/or am close to. I understand that you would like to invite these people, so I hope you understand that you would need to pay for them in full”
Post # 14
Lol this is kinda hilarious Lol why would they do fhat??? Send a rsvp response back and uninvite everyone who you didnt invite. This is yours and FI’s wedding. Not theirs.