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I dont think you are selfish, i wish my wedding could be all about just the 2 of us...but we both have big/close families and we are having a big (but casual) wedding for our parents/grandparents sakes...we are the first in our generations to get married on all sides of our families. I didnt want to deprive my mom the thrill of helping me plan a wedding or my dads being able to walk me down the aisle...so we are doing it (mostly) their way
i think it's different for different people. i've heard a lot of people say that they do things for their guests, their family, etc. but i'm with you, while i take into consideration what my family wants, it's all about me and him!
I think that it can vary by your culture (some people consider it a celebration of family/community). However, I personally agree that it should be about the bride and groom, and I don't think it is selfish to think that.
I don't think it's selfish at all. I personally believe that the bride and the groom are the main focus, but it's still about the families, guests, and traditions too.
As one of my married friends wisely told me, the ceremony is about the couple, but the ceremony is about everyone else. The more I plan, the smarter I think that is.
I don't think you are selfish, but depending on your family and their beliefs, it sadly can become realistic. I had the same wisdom as the pp passed on to me, and as we've gone forward I think that the wedding certainly seems to be more about other people. So I'm doing what I can to keep some things about the two of us, and finding a middle ground for the rest of the stuff.
Nah, I think it's about the bride and groom with a side dose of family on the side.
But not at the expense of the bride and groom. it's their wedding, the combining of the families is just cause and effect.
Then again, we paid for our own wedding so i was gonna be damned if we didn't get what we wanted =]
I think our wedding is more about our parents, our family, and how much they have supported each of us throughout our lives. We're doing alot of things to honor them, namely having a wedding in the first place (really, I'd be totally cool with just eloping). But alot of the details will be about us.
I've always understood them to be about the bride and groom. If their choices don't matter, why are they getting married in the first place? The reception is a thank you to your guests (who attend the ceremony, hence why many people find it rude to skip the ceremony or to not invite people to it) and guests's comfort needs to be a priority, but the day is still about the couple. Many people take it to the extreme to mean that they can do whatever they want and their guests be damned, which is not what proper etiquette and courtesy are about. Your guests should be enjoying themselves as much as you and your new husband are. Getting married does not entitle you to treat your guests like crap, despite it becoming extremely popular and fashionable, nor should you sacrifice your own comfort and desires in order to make your guests happy. There is a happy medium but not everyone wants to find it, thus they say it isn't possible, which is not true.
I have to agree... they are about the bride and groom, but they are for you and your families.
If FI and I had it our way, we'd have 25 people, a beautiful outdoors ceremony with an awesome restaurant diner afterwards. However for our families, we are having a 100 person wedding with (some) of the trimmings! (We too are the first to marry on both sides).
*Sigh*
When I was engaged, I knew the wedding was all about my FI and me. The day of the wedding I thought it was all about the vendors getting THEIR way. On the honeymoon I thought the wedding was all about my family. When I went through the long drawn out process of changing my name, I thought it was all about the government.
Now I look at it as a fun party declaring your love for each other. Who is it about? Well that depends on who's hosting it. If your inlaws are hosting it, maybe it's all about their beloved boy being stolen from them. If your parents are hosting it, maybe it's all about their darling girl finally growing up. If you and your FI are hosting it, maybe it's all about your declaration of independence (my wedding was on the Fourth of July, I couldn't help but throw that in!). Whatever a wedding is about, it usually ends up simply being a celebration of family and friends. Just a large happy get together.
I wanted my wedding to be all about me and my FI, and I planned and planned and planned, but in the end I was still considerate of the guests and did everything to make sure they had a great time too. Because who wants to watch two people have a good time? It's better if everyone is!
@Mermaid1082: I think you meant "The ceremony is about the bride and groom, but the reception is about everyone else."
Well i think is diffrent with every bride and groom.
For me its about me and my FI and my Family. Im bringing my FI here from his country to do are wedding here. His family wont be here, only 2 of his sisters. And he is not close with them. So whatever me and him want we will do. But i also like to have my family help also. So i gusse to answer your question YES it is about the Bride and Groom, and who they wish to have a part in the wedding.
Lol..well since I'm the only person planning anything. I'd said the day is all about me ! I'm not even a Bridzilla. I'm just realistic in that since FI has done nothing to help plan I will take all the credit for the day.
It's about we want to throw a fun party for all of our guests. If it was just about us then our guests would probably find it boring.
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Am I selfish to think that weddings are all about the Bride & Groom?