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So who gets to have a + 1 and who doesn't??? Where is everyone drawing the line on + 1s ?
We are giving everyone a guest at our 60 person wedding!
Im giving people +1 who live with there SO also not just married/engaged
Everyone that is in a relationship is getting to bring their SO to the wedding.
I was going to do only married engaged or living together, but my mother had other ideas and has been telling people that of course their boyfriend, girlfriend, etc can come. Gah. I can't tell them otherwise after that. I look like an a**. I really didn't want people there we didn't know. There were going to be a couple anyways because of marriages and engagements in our social network but I am not thrilled that there will be more mystery people.
We had very few single (not married, not engaged) guests, so we went ahead and gave all the singles a +1. Inviting married and engaged couples together is a given.
We are limiting it to living together/married. We only wanted about 150 at the wedding, but are inviting 207... so we are already way over what we wanted, so any extra plus ones would just be too much!
we're giving the option to all of the younger crowd and some of the older crowd who we know are dating. widow(er)s/divorcees that are not dating we're figuring that they probably won't bring a guest so we're leaving them out. however if they contact us and say that they want to bring someone, then they're more than welcome.
Every adult gets a plus 1. Our wedding is semi-destination, so everyone has to travel and stay overnight. I think it is only fair to let someone bring a guest in these circumstances.
We did it so haphazard. People traveling far got a +1 regardless of dating status, well except for family members traveling far like cousins that weren't in anything serious because we figured they all know each other so it's not like they'll feel awkward. But then we also didn't invite his guy friends with a +1 that were traveling far because he thought they didn't need it and if they did would tell us, which turned out to be true. One was just starting to date someone but had just assumed she'd be invited if he wanted her to be but decided it was too soon to introduce her to everyone. But then we invited friends from close by with dates who were attached to them, like 'going steady', even if it hadn't been a year. I donno, it seemed to work out, our friends and family are pretty open and no one openly objected to our haphazard system and I'm sure it would have gotten back to me if they had.
Married, engaged and/or living with SO. I really want to avoid the "flavor of the month" types and if I gave every co-worker a plus 1, my numbers would be crazy. I'm actually struggling with this decision right now so I'm looking forward to how other bees respond!
One of my big issues is that my wedding is a formal, black tie, $200pp and I really just want people that know us and love us to be there.
I'm already getting drama from my FMIL who thinks my FI's 17-18 year old cousin should be allowed to bring her boyfriend. Um hello...I doubt they'll be together next November and No.
This is a tough subject for me haha.
We also have very few friends that are single as in not engaged/married/living with someone/in serious relationship. So, we just went ahead and gave those 4 or 5 people +1's.
As far as single, older adults - we just took each one case by case. Obviously, my grandmother and older great aunts wouldn't bring a random guest :)
We are giving +1 to everyone that we know is in a serious relationship (i.e. we know their name). Most live together.
We actually only have a few people (4-5) that do not get +1, and that feels a little weird, but: (1) they will know plenty of people of at the wedding and we will seat them with people they will enjoy spending time with, and (2) I don't want to hang out with/pay for someone I don't know, who was just invited because the friend felt like they needed a +1.
our plus one rule - married, engaged, life partners OR bridal party all are allowed plus ones.
We gave a +1 to every single (unmarried) person who has a "serious significat other"
But, be prepared ladies - people will still probably bring someone. We had SEVERAL people bring a date even though they didn't get an "& guest" on their invitation. We even had someone who didn't get a guest bring her friend so she didn't have to share a room with her sister!
Those who are married, engaged, or in a long-term relationship can bring a guest. Single friends cannot. The only exception will be one or two of my single friends who won't really know anyone else. They can bring a guest so that they won't be lonely.
I think it depends on your priorities, meaning what you want the day to focus on. For us, we like the idea that marriage is just one of the many important milestones in life & wanted as many of those milestones present...which includes kids. Since kids are kind of permanent & certain +1s (not married/engaged/living together) are less likely to be permanent at this juncture, we opted for inviting kids instead of unattached +1s. It was a trade off, but since we only have 3 single friends & 2 of them have a little relative coming, they didn't really mind at all. All other guests are either married, engaged (1 couple), or living together (1 couple). Our situation was made easier since we're one of the last in our group of friends & family to get married.
We basically decided by age. If they were over 18 they could bring a guest. We need the +1's for our total # so we weren't too worried about it.
We gave a +1 to people that we know who aren't married. So just incase they didn't want to bring a "date" they could bring a friend if they wanted to.
We gave +1s to married/engaged/living together/relationships longer than a month or two (regardless of whether we've met their SO). We also gave +1s to people who would not know anyone else at the wedding and to some random family members (although I might have to discuss this with FI...)
SOs are invited if we know them personally or if the couple is married/engaged/living together.
Our wedding is so small that there are only two people who fall outside these categories - guys who have started relationships in just the last few months - and I honestly have come to realize that we don't have a lot of control over whether they bring their new girlfriends or not. Their invitations were addressed to just them, but people will do what they do. Hopefully at least their RSVP cards will state their intentions, to prevent surprises at the reception.
Every single guest (single as in not married) is getting a +1 (with the exception of FI and my mom's (both widows, but no +1).
I'm the last of many of my friends to get married - and as a guest, I've always appreciated the +1 I received (even though I sometimes chose not to use it).... which is why I'm doing it at my wedding.
We're allowing anyone who wants to to bring someone. Our guest list is relatively small so we're happy to extend a +1 to everyone.
IMO it kind of adds insult to injury to be like... oh you're not engaged/married/seriously dating anyone so come ALONE. So everyone is getting a plus 1. I totally get why other people don't do this... why invite joe schmo who isn't dating anyone and let him bring some girl you've never met rather than inviting another friend. I get it. But for us personally, there weren't very many people who are not in serious relationships and we could absorb the costs of their random dates, so we're giving everyone the +1.
We gave the wedding party all the option of bringing a plus one. Then anyone who was married/engaged/living together got plus ones. After that we said that anyone who we deemed to be in a "serious, long-term relationship" got a plus one (regardless of whether or not we'd met the SO). Kind of subjective on our part - we didn't have a specific length of relationship cutoff or anything - but we haven't had any problems with it so far!
I gave everyone a plus one. Well, everyone except elderly widows/widowers like my hubs grandmother and my great aunts that we knew for sure weren't dating. All our single friends and single/divorced adults got plus ones. I'd say 3/4 used them and the rest came solo.
We gave everyone in a relationship a +1. We knew most of them are in serious/semi-serious relationships. :)
We gave all our single friends a plus one and anyone in a serious relationship or was engaged. We basically made it so that no one would be invited to attend by themselves.
We gave a +1 to everyone. Well, ok, everyone except two family friends who have recently been widowed -- I thought it would be weird to explicitly extend a +1 invitation to them, since it would imply that we expect them to be dating already while they are likely still grieving. If either of them wanted to bring a date though, I hope they would ask, b/c we would definitely permit it!
I'm giving a plus one to everyone. The social unit thing is too hard for me to define. I am a bit too lazy to see if so and so is in a serious realtionship, living together,etc. lol
I am having a large wedding and we have rented out all three ballrooms in the building so we will have room any way. But I am pretty sure that some of my friends will not bring a plus one if they are not in a serious relationship because a lot of them are planning on going to the wedding together without dates.
We're trying to keep our wedding intimate, so we aren't allowing everyone a +1. We're doing basically what danadelphia is doing: those who are married, engaged, or in a serious relationship get a +1. I don't want somebody's boyfriend of one week who I've never even heard of before to come to my wedding. We so far haven't got anyone on our list who won't know someone else at the wedding, so it won't be weird for any of our singles if our guest list stays the same until we send our invites out.
We decided if someone doesn't have a steady bf/gf they do not get a +1
If they're married or other wise in a commited relationship = plus 1
If they are a close friend and otherwise single = plus 1
If they belong to a group of people (ie work friends) = no plus 1
I'm inviting lots of people from work. If they are married/cohabitate/engaged their SI will be invited, but the single folks at work will know other work folks.
We gave plus one's to:
- Married couples (obvs)
- Engaged couples
- Couples living together
- Serious couples (been dating a while - case by case basis)
- People coming from out of town who wouldn't know anyone else
Couples who were single without a serious SO and coming from out of town, but knew a few people, were not given a plus one. Our venue had a 90-person capacity limit, so we had to be strict with that one. There was only one or two people who were single and needed a plus one because they didn't know anyone and were traveling to get there.
We only gave +1 to family members (2 cousins) living with their SO and 1 couple who doesn't know anyone else at the wedding.
We have so many groups of friends coming it would have added about 30 people to give all the young people +1's (most of whom we don't like). Plus we're already at capacity and ordering an extra tent for our 200 person wedding.
We struggled a lot with not giving it to our bridal party but only 2 are in relationships and if we gave them +1's it would seem unfair not to give them to the rest of our friends. It's such a slippery slope.
Marrieds, Engageds, and longtime SOs across the board
Single people - case by case. I have two HS friends who won't know the majority of people there, so they are getting plus ones. I have a few college friends who are single but will know almost everybody so they are gonna have to roll solo. I've already talked to them about it and they are totally cool with it.
FI has more single friends than I do but he also had fewer friends on the list than I did so he gave more plus ones. In some cases he didn't though. I don't know what kind of logic he used but they're his friends so it's not my problem. I don't know if he talked to them about it or not but I definitely made sure it was OK with my singles.
Married, engaged, or living with--those are our parameters. Hopefully we won't have to budge too much on them; the invite list won't be formalized for another 6 months or so :-)
All of our bridal party got +1 regardless of relationship status
Friends traveling from very far (NJ to GA or RI to GA, etc) got a +1 regardless of relatoinship status
Married, engaged, in a relationship for more than a year also got +1
It was somewhat haphazard but it really made the most sense! And actually several of the people that got a +1 do not plan on bringing one!
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