Post # 1
FI and I talked about who is in the wedding party already we know who we want to ask its just time to visit and see them in person to ask. I told my FI i have to have my BFF in the wedding( hes a guy) my FI is totaly cool with that, i was going to have my friend on my side but it will work out better with his sister on my side and my friend (male) on his. the entire wedding party is standing there for us, so who cares what side people are on. BUT here is my question
Do I ask my (male) friend to be in the wedding or should my FI? does it make a big diffrence on who asks who??
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2014 - White Point Garden, Charleston, SC
You could always ask him together since he’s your friend, but you want him standing on your FI’s side. I think that’s a good plan.
Post # 4
@S.Elizabeth.G: we have planned on taking him and his new wife (they got married 3 weeks ago) out to a nice up scaled dinner. I wasnt sure how to actually ask..
me: he __(friend)__ i wanted to know if you would stand beside us as we get married
FI: yes i would be honored if you stand on my side
But heres the thing, Ive been talking to friends wife about our wedding and ive mentioned that i wanted (my male friend) to stand on my side- but now i think he should stand with the guys, if we are all sitting at dinner and ask im scared she mite bring that up THEN what do i say…??? STRESS!
Post # 5
You should ask him to stand on your side, and your FI should ask his sister to stand on his side. He’s your friend, you want him in the wedding party for you, he should be on your side, not his just because he is a man.
Post # 6
- Wedding: March 2013 - Callanwolde Fine Arts Center
Honestly, I don’t know why you wouldn’t just put him on your side and your FI’s sister on his side. Unles your FI is really close with your BFF, it seems like it wouldn’t be the same.
If you really want him on your FI’s side, just ask him together, but be prepared with a legitimate reason when he or his wife asks why he isn’t on your side.
Post # 7
@cheebs: To beign with i always wanted him to stand on my side, but with my other two BM it would be a bit hard to be the way i want it. we have a total of 8 in our wedding party 4 girls 4 guys. we were going to have one guy and one girl on each others side. Im scared that his sister would do the “well im not a BM why do i have to go along and wear the same dress/ makeup/ hair/shoes (or even wear a suit) i just want all the girls to look the same and be simple. another BM isnt the smartest tool in the box so she kinda needs to be between two others to “follow the leader” but at my particular location im having my sister and BFF (male) stand at one location to help with my dress (im walking over water and they will help carry it over) ive tried to think of other options to keep him on my side but it seams a lot simpler if hes just with the guys
Post # 8
@AndysCraftsNmore: bridal attendants don’t all have to be female, and groom attendants don’t all have to be male. They don’t all have to match and have equal numbers on each side. But if you can’t get past that you could still ask your friend (since the only reason you want him in the wedding is because he is your friend) to be a groomsmen.
FSIL could wear the same dress as the bridesmaids but get it in black/grey/whatever colour suit the groomsmen are wearing and stand with her brother. Your friend could wear a tie/vest that is the same colour as your bridesmaids and the groomsmen wear a different colour. That way everyone still looks like the go together and are part of the bridal party even though you have mixed genders on each side.