Who brought up marriage first, and how?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

He did! We’d been dating for 4-6 months, and were laying in bed, and he asked me what my ideal timeline was for marriage/children. Then refused to share his.

Post # 4
5905 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@freshflowers:  Mr. 99 was slowly but surely moving into my house, one item at a time…first it was the dogs, then it was a dresser, then he needed a place for his gun safe and tools and more and more clothes started finding their way into my closet….and he started complaining about how expensive the rent on his apartment was and that it was stupid for me to be paying a mortgage and him to pay rent since we were getting married anyway….I advised him that I found it in no way to be stupid, since I wouldn’t LIVE with a man I wasn’t engaged to….so he proposed two weeks later and that was that.

Post # 5
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@freshflowers:  Yeah DH moved fast. He told me he loved me after, like, less than a week of dating (I reciprocated but whatever) but he was the first to mention marriage, and it was that same day. He just said, “I know you will probably think I am just in the moment, and I don’t want to scare you, but you are so perfect for me. I can see myself getting married to you one day.”

I didn’t let stuff like that scare me. I thought it was sweet 🙂

Post # 6
2136 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I don’t really remember. I know we talked about wanting kids before we ever talked about marriage…but I just can’t remember when we actually started talking about marriage. :/

Post # 7
107 posts
Blushing bee


My SO bought it up first after we were dating a few months, he asked out the blue where do I see myself in the next few years, I told him and his response was “I can see us married in 2 years”…problem is it’s been 2 years now and we aren’t even engaged.

Post # 8
9526 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Um, both? When we had been dating 3 years and moved in together I very awkwardly asked if he thought that marriage might be where we would end up if nothing went wrong. It was weird. I was basically trying to ask if he was a person who just never wanted to be married. But I asked in a weird, round about kind of way. But he said that yes, marriage was on the table.

Fast forward a year and he brought up actually potentially getting engaged. And I kinda freaked out inside. But we talked about it as a possibility. My big concern was that he definitely wanted kids and I wasn’t sure. So I asked him not to propose until I figured out if I wanted kids. And I thought about it for about 8 months. Then I told him I had decided that I wanted a kid (1!!) and he could propose if he wanted. He proposed 3 weeks later (that’s how long it took to make the ring).

Post # 9
47 posts
  • Wedding: May 2016

He did. I was visiting his family’s house with him for the second time (we had probably been dating about 5 months). We had just gone out to eat with his family and we were headed back home from dinner in a separate car. He didn’t pull out of the parking lot but instead just looked at me and said “I’m going to marry you one day”. I felt so many butterflies in my stomach wowww! Love him so much!




Post # 10
40 posts
  • Wedding: June 2014

He did. We had been dating maybe 6 or 7 months and were cuddling one night.  He said, “can I ask you a question?” -of course ask me anything. “Can you see yourself marrying me one day” –*wow, had to think*sure I can, you’re a smart fun god-fearing man and I love you.


Nothing else was really discussed till another 6 or 7 months after that, and then we discussed it some more, more seriously this time.  then 6 or so months after THAT, we really seriously started talking about a time frame, and got engaged in November!


The first time he brought it up I really hadn’t thought about it much, but realized it was a possibility in the future.  

Post # 12
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

he did.  it was within the first month or two.  he proposed at 3 months.

Post # 13
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Mr TTR & I are Older Encores…

So we talked openly when we were first beginning to Date about a wide variety of topics to figure out how compatible we were (comparing values, beliefs, etc).

I asked him if he was open to Marriage again… lol, even tho I was clearly the one who was more gun-shy at the time.

He said he hadn’t taken it off the table completely in his life… He liked to believe that a good Marriage was still a possiblity… BUT it would take a “very special woman” to make that happen.

Lol, as I was still licking my own wounds about my Divorce, I remember I said “Same here, a VERY special guy”

And so it was… we dated in total for another 6 years before it came up in a convo again… before that it just wasn’t something that either of us felt was important / needed for us.

It was I who brought it up when we got to around our 6th Date-iversary… I told him I was now ready to make that sort of commitment again.

He was thrilled… cause he had been there awhile, but knew I wasn’t, so he didn’t broach the subject at all (gave me my space).

Lol, we exchanged our Updated LIFE PLANS and TIMELINE… and I said I’d like to be married in about a years time (before the end of 2012).  He agreed.

I also told him that I wanted to be involved in The Ring process…

Then he told me to leave it up to him… as a guy he wanted to do it in his own way / time.

I never was sure if I was a “Waiting Woman” for a Proposal or to go Ring Shopping… but as I trusted him 100% I let it be, and never really brought it up again.  I knew it was in the works, I just didn’t know when.

Lol, he did take his time… it was 4 months later when he Proposed when we were on vacation.

Mind you, it quickly became apparent that he’d used the time well… because he had thought a lot about the Wedding and the details that he wanted to incorporate… for example he knew he wanted to Elope just the 2 of us to a Destination Wedding… to this very spot where he had Proposed (hence the wait).

No Regrets.  He is indeed that VERY Special Man that I had hoped for almost a decade ago.


Post # 14
1134 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@freshflowers:  He did. It was maybe a 1 1/2 years into the relationship, and we were at a restaurant one night, talking while eating, and he just casually said “You know, you’re such a great person, and we want the same things in life. I’m going to marry you one day.” And I laughed a bit, really. I didn’t think he was serious and I had an absolutely flippant reaction, that I now regret. I felt so warm on the inside when he said that, but he didn’t know that. 🙁

Maybe 6 months later he brought it up again, more successfully.

Post # 15
4893 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@freshflowers:  He did. He’d always told mutual friends that he was going to marry me some day. Then one evening we were sitting on my couch discussing our upcoming trip to Mexico and he said “Want to get married when we’re in Mexico?”

So that was a proposal of sorts as well. We ended up not getting married in Mexico due to all of the rules and whatnot, but eloped a month after we returned.

Post # 16
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

We were Skyping one day and I think it was just kind of brought up, by him I think…

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