(Closed) Who can walk me walk me down the aisle?

posted 5 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
349 posts
Helper bee

I am honored to be walking my daughter down the aisle, but it seems fitting because I have raised her since the age of three.  Her father is no longer alive, but would not have been invited if he were living.  I hope your mom comes to see this as the honor it is, but if she’s uncomfortable in that role, you and your groom could walk in together, or you could walk alone and focus on his face waiting for you at the altar.  We haven’t agreed on mother/daughter dance song yet, but I think we’re going to do one.  My vote goes to “Freeze Frame Time” by Brandon Rhyder, because it has always reminded me of her:  “You are an angel, you taught me how to fly, you picked me up when I was down and you made me fly high.  We’re a little bit older now, together we’ve seem some change, but I love you more now than I did on that very first day. Sometimes we laugh, sometimes we cry, some days it’s hard to figure out our way in this life. But it’s moments like this that make me wish I could freeze frame time.”  The other choice would be “Find Your Wings” by Christian singer Mark Harris, but I don’t think there’s any way I could get through that one without doing the ugly cry. 

Post # 4
Member
3372 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@TexasAggieMom:  Just reading your post made me want to cry! My mom raised me alone too, since my parents got divorced when I was three.

@jbbs1222:  Would you be comfortable walking down the aisle alone? I agree that walking down the aisle with your groom could be a really nice alternative, and a bit less daunting than walking alone. Hopefully your mom will come around if you talk to her about it, express how important and special it would be for you.

My dad is passed too (not that I would have him walking me down the aisle anyway) but I’m having my stepfather do it instead.

Post # 6
Member
2055 posts
Buzzing bee

@jbbs1222:  I am truly sorry about your loss. My father passed away last year, and I’m having a hard time thinking about him not being present at my wedding. 

 

I’ll just address your questions in bullets:

  • My mother will be escorting me down the aisle (my original plan was to have both parents walk me down). If she doesn’t (since she’s also not too keen on the idea), then I will be walking down by myself. I am sewing a part of my father’s favorite handkerchief on the inside of my dress and I am carrying a small memento of his in my bouquet. So, it’s like he is walking me down (sounds corny, I know). I have a brother/uncles/cousins who could walk me, but then that would feel like a “replacement” and I personally choose not to do that.
  • Yes, I think it is perfectly fine to walk down the aisle alone, but this depends on your comfort level.
  • I am foregoing the parent-child dance entirely, since dancing was a very special, near-and-dear thing that my father and I shared. We had previously discussed exactly how the dance would go, and dancing with my mum would just not be the same to me (even though I love her unconditionally). 
  • I think that having a mother-daughter dance is perfectly lovely, if that is what you want (and no one would think it’s odd, esp. since as your guests, they would be familiar with your situation). It’s actually more common than you think (see: this video). 
  • As for song recommendations, the ones posted by @TexasAggieMom are all great. Also, you can check out these threads/posts: Bee Blog, Thread 1, Thread 2, Thread 3

Post # 7
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@jbbs1222:  If your mom doesn’t feel comfortable walking you down she could totally do a mother daughter dance with you. A family friend of mine walked with her mom & only uncle (her dad died when she was little.) She also had a mother daughter dance to Carrie Underwood “Mama’s song” and it was very sweet!

Post # 8
Member
1658 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Agreeing with other bees about walking down the aisle alone. I hope your mother changes her perspective on walking you down the aisle (I feel that would be very sweet). But walking down the aisle alone wouldn’t be too bad either. You can watch FI’s face without being too distracted 🙂

Post # 10
Member
1076 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

If it gets approved by my minister, my mom will walk me down the aisle because my father was never around. 

 

It’d be so cool if your mother-daughter dance was some choreographed little number, with you and her dancing side by side instead of holding each other.

Post # 11
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

you could also walk together with your groom

Post # 12
Member
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

@jbbs1222:

I’ll either walk by myself or have my dog walk me down the aisle.  I’m really close to my dog and treat him like a little brother.

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