Post # 1
I realize the sauciness of the title on this thread but I mean on envelopes! get your bee minds out of the gutters!
I’m starting to address all my Save the Dates and I am confused as to whose name goes first. If they are married it’s his-name & her-name last name? If they are not do you put the girls name first or only if you are closer with her that with her SO? What if they don’t live together, do you put the boyfriend’s name on the address anyway so she knows he is invited? I am doing postcards so no option for an inner envelope to clarify invitees. Any addressing experts out there?
Post # 3
I’m doing postcards too! Haha! STD twin!! My rules for mine are:
Married: His + Her + Last
Engaged: Hers (Maiden) + His Last
Not married, not engaged: I put whoever was our "primary" guest. If we know them both equally, we sent 2 postcards. If that’s not an option, my default is Hers first then His. Mostly because that indicates (generally) that a couple isn’t yet married.
If they don’t live together: We put a special note saying "So n So" is invited.
I’m not an expert, that’s just how we did ours. Hope it helps!!
Post # 4
I’ve always heard that for married couples it should be Her First + His First + Their Last because the man’s name should never be separated from his last name.
Post # 5
We did pretty much what MS did. Married: His + Her + Last, Dating/engaged (and we know that will be their date for the wedding) His name + Her name. For our single friends we just sent out STDs with their name on them. We’ll make it clear they can bring a date with the invite where they have space on the RSVP for a date. We figured this was just a heads up and didn’t need to go into all the specifics, although my cousin (who has to make hotel reservations) did call and ask if she could bring a date, or if she should book a room with her sister. Hope that helps!
meg1223 – I’ve never actually heard of that but it makes sense. I think I just got my naming system from how they always say "Mr. & Mrs. Robert Dougenheimmen" and just added in the first names from that format?
Post # 6
If there are two people you are inviting on the same invitation of "equal weight" then I think you are supposed to alphabetize the names.
Post # 7
We did our invites to married couples the "old fashioned" way:
Mr. & Mrs. John Smith
Then for unmarried couples (living together) the woman first and the man second.
We didn’t allow any +1 so if we knew both well and they did not live together we sent them each their own invitation.
Post # 8
If I knew both members of the couple equally well or didn’t know them at all (ie my inlaws friends) I put the man first.
If I was friends with the woman and was inviting her date/FI/husband I put her first.
Post # 9
Meg1223 is correct about what’s technically "proper." The man’s first and last names are never supposed to be separated. The "Mr. and Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast" seems like an exception, but it really isn’t because his names are still written together. A woman’s name would never be properly written out anyway, unless she was unmarried or divorced.
That said, the technically proper way drives me crazy and I’m wilfully breaking the rules on my save-the-dates. If I know one half of the couple better, that person goes first. If I know them equally well, I’m writing the names however I usually say them in everyday life (you know how some names just flow better in one order than the other?). I’m only using titles and "proper format" if I know that the invitee(s) will be offended if I don’t.
I still haven’t decided what to do on the invitations…the "proper format" goes against all my principles of equality, but I do want to maintain some level of formality. I guess I’ll figure it out by the time I actually send them!
Post # 10
You win the "Best Board Title Award"!
I’ve been doing what Mighty Sapphire’s doing. If they are engaged or dating but not living together, and we only know one of them, I’m putting the primary guest’s name on the first line and the SO’s on the second to indicate that he/she is invited, but acknowledge they’re not living together.