Weddingbee boards

This is another question about baby showers.  My mom is planning on throwing a shower for me and DH in January back on the east coast where all of our family and friends are.  Given how many people we know back east, the guest list could get pretty extensive, depending on who is invited.  We obviously want close friends of me and DH to be there, and since this is a co-ed shower that involves male and female friends.  My mom also wants to know if she should invite her friends.  I'm not sure what the normal protocol is on this, so I need some help.  I think some of her friends would genuinely like to be at the shower b/c they love that kind of event.  Others might think it's just gift grubby to invite them.  What to do?  Also, there's another issue with whether or not we should invite DH's family, who are also in the area.  Once we start inviting his family members, then we're forced to invite his dad, which I could potentially see as leading to disaster.  At the very least, having DH's dad present at the shower will make both DH and I worry a lot about how the event is going to go down, which will make the whole day a lot less fun. Oh, and also my aunt from out of state has stated that she wants to be at my shower.  Does that mean we have to invite my entire extended family too?  This is getting to be a headache. 

So who do we ask my mom to invite?  Just our friends?  My mom's friends too?  DH's family?  My extended family?  Who has been on the guest list at other showers that you have attended?  Help!

I think a) where is the shower and how many it can accommodate b) what is your mom's budget if she is hosting it.

Those two might dictate the guest list.

For me we don't do baby showers on my side of the family in the extended family. So I'm thinking of foregoing the shower in my home city.

My MIL will be throwing me a shower in our current city where all of husband's family is. Extended family will be invited. I am hoping to convince my husband and MIL to make it co-ed. I have more male friends than females that I would want to include. I will fly my mom up here for the shower and if my aunt who lives 2 hours away wants to come she's welcome to. And obviously my siblings but I doubt they will make the trip since my SIL is pregnant as well.

@regberadaisy: I don't think my mom minds spending a bit more.  The shower will be at my parents' house, so the cost is basically just the cost of food / drink / supplies, and she's not the type to do anything fancy.  There should be plenty of room for the guests too.  So really, I guess the question is (a) is it normal for my parents' friends and extended family to be included in the shower and (b) will DH and I be overwhelmed if there are too many guests at our shower.  It sounds like the answer to my first question is yes, so I guess we have to think about how big we want our shower to be overall.