Post # 1
While my SO and I are waiting to get formally engaged until after I meet his parents, we are eager to get on the planning bus – mostly because we aren’t willing to try to plan a large wedding in under 8 months in a popular month. Actually, we would like to get as much as possible done before we tell everyone.
For many reasons, we need to get married around August/Sept 2014 – this has to do with visa paperwork and green cards. We really can’t push it much later than that without going outside our level of comfort.
We have picked a date and cleared it with my parents (who are hosting). SO is also going to feel out his parents for that date without letting the cat entirely out of the bag.
SO is confident that we will be fine (we are going to pay for his out of the country parents to attend), I’m worried that somehow this will come back to bite us. I also have some stress because his brother is getting married two months before. The only people travelling for that wedding will be us, so I’m hoping that it won’t be too much of a hardship, but every time I see a thread on here about family weddings being too close together, I panic a bit.
Post # 3
I think the people who need to be consulted about the date should be people that it would be devestating to not have there. For me it was our parent’s, siblings, grandparents and aunts/uncles and first cousins. Everyone else was “if they can come yay, if not, they will send a card.”
Post # 4
Honestly, we didn’t consult anyone. We found the venue we knew we wanted, asked for a list of open Saturdays in the summer, picked the date and paid the deposit, and then called our parents and close relatives to let them know.
Post # 5
We didn’t consult anybody. We really didn’t feel the need though. My mom doesn’t travel, ever. His parents travel but only Dec-April so we knew we were safe.
Post # 6
i picked the date with my FI and mom. other close family members and my bridal party were notified after we signed the venue contract. my close friends all knew i wanted an october or november date so i think my bridal party was holding that time open.
Post # 7
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
We consulted our parents and the best man and matron of honor.
It was especially important to check with my dad because he cruises all the time and we needed to make sure he didn’t already have a trip booked.
Post # 8
Anybody who you absolutely want/need there should be taken into account, usually immediate family and wedding party.
My FI and I didn’t formally consult with our families, but we did take their schedules into account when deciding. We knew we wanted a fall wedding but realized we had to push it back a year to make it work. FMIL is a teacher who is retiring next year, so she would not be able to attend a fall wedding in 2013. Also 2 of my BM’s and both of my FI’s siblings are finishing up grad school and would have a lot of trouble attending a wedding this year.
Post # 9
No one really. We just didn’t want it St. Pat’s day weekend. Yes weekend lol. I had no idea that my BIL’s bday was three days before and HIS anniversary was the day after ours. DH had been pushing for a Saturday wedding, but I wanted a Friday wedding, had no idea we could have been married on their anniversary. I’m sure they wouldn’t have cared but still …. Now I’m in charge of the calendar lol.
Post # 10
We didn’t really consult with anyone but I had things ruled out like the dead of summer, went to a wedding once and was so sick from the heat. And I also ruled out November because there’s so many birthday that month in our family. December was out because there’s enough going on with Christmas. When I knew I wanted Spring the only thing I checked was when is Easter and when is Greek Easter.
Post # 11
I consulted with my caterer because I knew that time of year was busy for him. He does BBQ cookoffs and had competitions in Jan/Feb when we wanted the wedding. Got two dates cleared from him, asked the Church, one worked out, ta-da!
Does consulting football schedules count, too? We didn’t want to get married during college football season, or on Superbowl weekend. We’re both huge fans and wanted to avoid conflicts with games we wanted to see.
Post # 12
I actually picked August over the fall because college football is such a huge deal in my hometown that my own father would be sneaking out of the reception to watch if there was a game on that night!
Post # 13
Close family and wedding party. Even after this, it turned out that one of my relatives I asked to be in the wedding has another wedding to be in that day!
Post # 14
You guys are really setting my mind at ease. As long as our parents and siblings can be there, it will be ok. And my mother just had to turn down a wedding for a friends daughter she was SURE she was going to because our cousin planned his wedding for the same day. So I think even if I asked around, a “more important” event could arise for almost anyone – understandably so!
Post # 15
The only people we actually consulted were the band. We knew which band we wanted and that we wanted a Saturday in September, so the first thing we did was check which dates they had available. We didn’t ask anyone else what they had going on, we chose our date 16 months in advance, very few people plan that far away.
Post # 16
No one really, but we’re getting married on a Saturday in March so we knew there wouldn’t be too much conflict. We booked it more than a year in advance so we knew there wouldn’t be any trips planned. I also made sure not to come too close to any important dates.