- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
Mother?? SO? MIL?
I was thinking about this other day and had mentioned to my DH then when I have a child, I would like it to be just him, my mother, and my grandmother. He said that he would want his parents in there as well but I do not think I would be comfortable with that. What about you?
It will be DH, DS, and my mom here at the house... along with my midwife of course and POSSIBLY our friend/photographer for some birthing photographs.The only other person I could think of may be my best friend b/c she'd be a great help with DS... I'm sure my sis won't be here b/c 1. she lives oot and 2. she's not very helpful or nice sometimes. lol
Otherwise I want a relaxed atmosphere and so there is NO WAY his mom or any other family will be here.
Just my husband was in the delivery room with me with baby #1, and that's what we'll do for baby #2, as well. Although I'd love for our daughter to be there when her sister/brother is born, hospital policy requires that all guests be over the age of 16. :(
@amnystik: It's so great that your son will be there to witness his sibling's birth. :) Such a great family moment!
I would definitely NOT be comfortable with anyone from my dh's family there during delivery, but that's probably more a reflection of the dynamics of my relationships with them than a general rule about whether in-laws should be there.
Besides my husband, I plan to have my mother there and maybe a friend...
I'm not sure yet. Both of our mothers have already asked and it doesn't help on his side that BIL and his wife pretty much didn't care who was in there. I'm torn between having my husband, my husband and mother, and my husband and both of our mothers.
I'm still not sure what I'm going to do. I'm worried that the more people that are in there, the more I'll stress out. The flip side is that my mother and his have been through this and may be helpful, but there's no guaranteeing they'll be helpful instead of stressful. So I'm leaning towards just my husband.
Edit: I do have a pretty good relationship with his mother and she pretty much never oversteps boundaries so I know she wouldn't be too overbearing. I just tend to not like too many different personalities in one room.
I'm not pregnant or even close to TTC, but as I see it now, prob only my husband. Everyone else can wait for the phone call or in the waiting room! Too intimate of a moment :)
@Mrs. Spring: I'm SO excited for it! But also kinda freaked b/c with DS only 7 he's been pretty "sheltered".... I was just thinking about it yesterday how to explain childbirth to a kid! eek! lol He's really excited about being a big brother though so I'm happy he'll be part of it and be able to see a how awesome & natural birth can be! *eek*
@amnystik: Maybe start preparing him now for what the experience will be like? I remember seeing a book on Amazon a while back that was more matter-of-fact about the actual process of childbirth. It's a little too old for my daughter, but might be a good place start with your son. Let me see if I can find it...
ETA: This is the one I was thinking about. They have a whole series, but this is the book that talks about how babies are made, how birth works, etc...
http://www.amazon.com/Its-So-Amazing-Families-Library/dp/0763613215/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b
I don't mind if our parents want to come visit while we're getting set up in the room, but as far as when I'm actually pushing a human out, only my husband will be in the room. I would MAYBE consider my mom, but that's a big maybe. I prefer just my husband be there.
It will be only me and my husband. My MIL hinted about wanting to be there, but I shut that down immediately. My Mom actually believes that only the husband should be in the room, she finds it odd that anyone would even want their mom there to witness something so personal (LOL), so that makes it easy!
That was actually a point of contention between the two of us because husband wanted to be the only one in the room, and I wanted my mom there. He relented and said he didn't care if she was there, but it was a moot point because I ended up having an emergency c section. It was just me, my husband, and like 3 nurses, the anesthetist, 2 doctors, a couple nurse's assistants, and maybe a few cafeteria employees as well (okay, not really, but it was a full house). Not the most pleasant birthing experience, but it was over quick. My parents drove up the next day. Husband's family waited until we were home to visit.
i would never in a million years allow anyone other than my husband in the room.
in fact, i want a couple hours with just my husband and the baby before anyone even visits. we both have huge families and it is hard to get privacy... i am going to be very firm about it this time though.
When the time comes it will just be me and DH. I wouldn't mind my mother but he refuses to have anyone but the two of us which is fine. I would never consider having any of my inlaws in the room.
Just me and DH and the midwife.
I'm already annoyed with people telling me about my pregnancy, labor, and raising of the child as it is. I couldn't imagine if someone said something slightly off to me during the process. I would probably cut them out of my life forever.
Whenever this happens, it will be just my husband, and he'll be staying up by my head.
Trust me, limit the people in the room. You end up bleeding and crapping everywhere, with screaming, sweating, nakedness etc. You do not want more people to see that then extremely necessary.
There is so much stuff about giving birth that they just dont' tell you. ;)
@Gemstone: LOL I thought (and hoped) DH would stay up by my head during delivery but then a nurse asked him if he wanted to see the baby's hair so he got in the line of fire and watched the whole birth happen!!
I only had my DH in the room.
For the actual pushing it was just DH. But while I was laboring my mom and my 8 year old daughter came in to visit before, and then immediately after the birth.
I would prefer just DH and possibly my Mom. She's a nurse and worked in the neo-natal unit for years so would be able to tell me what's going on and if it's normal etc. I would DIE if my inlaws were in there. The last thing my MIL needs to see is my vajayjay hanging out... ::shivers and gags::
It was just my DH in the delivery room. No way in hell would I want anyone else. Sorry that moment when a child is born is special between the two parents.
I would like just SO, but probably my mom too. No one else though. I love his mom, but I wouldn't be comfortable with her being in there, and he probably wouldn't be either.
Only the husband! and he better stay in the northern hemisphere.
I forsee this being a problem for me because I insist on my whole family being there....Mom, dad, G-ma, sister, Mother-in-law, Brother-in-Law, Sister-in-Law...everyone...I want everyone who wants to be there with me to be able to be there with me...and I want it filmed...
One of my friends at work and I were talking about this, and her husband actually delivered their first child with his bare hands at the hospital with a local doctor....I'M TOTALLY USING THIS DOCTOR!!! That would be so exciting for me...what better way to bond with your husband and child all at the same time??? I also loved that Kourtney on Keeping up with the Kardashians was able to pull her own son out too....I would just love to have a doctor who understands how amazing that is!!!
I would guess it'll just be my husband and I. I don't mind if my FIL's come to the waiting room or if they pop in and out before the nakedness/pushing starts. My parents live 3 hours away, so who knows when they'd be able to get there, especially if it happens in the middle of the night. But I can't see wanting my mom in there while everything's going on. There are things other people just don't need to see!
Funny that I found this thread.. DH and I were just talking about this the other day. I'd LIKE him to be in the delivery room when that day comes, but he's really squeamish and said he'd just wait outside 'til it was done. I joked and said I'll need him in there so that I can scream at him "You did this to me!" etc. So, with that, it'll probably be my mum.
@Dolldancer8: DH and I have talked about him "catching" the baby here at our homebirth! And I just found out today that my mom's boyfriend actually delivered his 2nd child b/c the midwife wasn't there yet (all homebirths). I'm so EXCITED to get a different experience than most of us see in movies/hospitals! I still chose against very many being here since I know that my environment/atmosphere is going to be important for my natural brith! UBER exciting!
@Dolldancer8: Friends of ours are due 4 days before us and her husband is going to be coached by their midwife so that he can deliver the baby as well.
As soon as we parted ways from them, DH looked right at me and said, "I will not be delivering our child. I will be up by your head, so don't get any ideas." LOL
Only DH. And that might not happen! I would NEVER let my MIL in there, even if though I love her to death. She, being the awesome person she is, would never expect to be there. My mom might expect it, but I won't let her...she is too high anxiety. I'm sorry for this comment, but I think the birthing process is just gross and a little dehumanizing, so I want to limit those watching :)
Probably just DH. Maybe my mom, but most likely not. Definately not my MIL. We aren't close and that would make it super awkward. I'd kinda prefer a few people as necessary see me at my worst!
Just DH.
I'd be weirded out to have my mom there.
My grandma wouldn't want to be there (and I wouldn't want her to be either).
And NO WAY ON EARTH would DH's family be there. 
I wouldn't be comfortable with his parents in there any time near the Big Moment, but maybe much earlier during the process it would be ok. When things get serious, I just want it to be my husband and maybe my Mom.
I'm not pregnant yet, but would prefer just DH to share that moment with me. I know my sister would be crushed if I told her I wasn't allowing anyone else in there, and then my mom would feel left out...its a snowball affect. I guess we will see when the time comes!
We are planning on having just myself and DH in the room with the midwife and whatever other nurses may be there. My Mom is pretty upset, because she feels that since she's given birth (naturally) and so many times, that she would be a good person to have there. DH and I are pretty private though, and I want it to be a moment that we will remember and will be something we did and got through together!
DH and DH ONLY, other than all medical staff required. My mom doesn't even want to be there - she told me long before we even started TTC that she absolutely does not want to be present during labour as she thinks that is a time for just the mother and father. I couldn't agree more.
We also won't have to really worry about visitors as we're living halfway around the world from all of my family (in the US) and DH's family (in the UK) and we've moved to a new town 6 hours away from where all of our friends are. Yeah, it will just be DH and I for the first few days until my mom arrives for an extended visit, probably a week after the baby is born.
Husband only!! In fact, no one is allowed at the hospital until they get the all clear, everything is fine call. Which will probably not be until the next day. My family understands, his family don't understand my reasons, but I anticipate them respecting my wishes.
For us, the plan was for there to be an open door policy during labor, and then during pushing, everyone gets kicked out except DH, my mom, and my MIL. And even then, I was reserving the right to kick out my MIL if she became judge-y about my decisions. (I also thought it would be weird for my MIL to be hanging out and seeing my hoo-ha whie I pushed, but once we got there, at that point I DID NOT CARE.)
As it turns out, I don't remember who or how often people visited prior to the epidural or after the epidural wore off. I know who visited now, but at the time, I was just in too much pain and too focused on coping with contractions & the other complications I had to notice or care. Our moms were there the whole time, and I'm really glad for that because they were incredibly helpful and it was great to have their support while I pushed for 2.5-3 hours. DH stayed up near my head and held my hand, helped me through contractions, etc. In that sense, it was perfect. (Only DH was allowed to come with me for the c-section, and that's a bummer, but I'm also glad that our moms were there until then to keep our families updated.)
When we eventually have kids it will be my husband and only my husband. I'm not even going to tell anyone else I'm in labor until the kid is outta me. It's not even that it will be an incredibly private moment, it's that I don't want to deal with anyone else's crap while I'm pushing a new human being out of my bajingo. If I tell DH to shut the hell up and let me do my thing, he will. Neither of our mothers can be counted on to do the same.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| rachgirl82 | 39 |
| MissBoPeep | 36 |
| pengoala | 33 |
| Beckster329 | 21 |
| Future Army Wife | 20 |
| Sunfire | 19 |
| couawilou | 18 |
| MsBrooklynA | 16 |
| KatNYC2011 | 15 |
| beargoose | 15 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| roxy821 | 7 |
| MsBrooklynA | 7 |
| hergreenapples | 1 |
| mommytobee | 1 |
| Beebug | 1 |
| blueskye | 1 |
| libanez | 1 |
| DeeVine1217 | 1 |
 Aurevoirbaby |
1 |
