Who do I list under my "parents"?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

weatherbug:  That’s so great that your dad’s girlfriend is so special to you. It really is. I understand your want to recognize her but I do not feel that listing her as your parent is appropriate.

Instead, I’d list it like, “daughter of AwesomeDad and the late SuperMom.”

You can thank your dad’s girlfriend publicly during the toasts or during rehearsal dinner. You can even get her a gift like you would for your mom but I would keep her off the official program.

Post # 3
815 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I am in a similar situation, and although I am not close with my fathers long time gf, they are very serious and she has been around a long time.

I did not include her in the invitation as I didnt feel it was appropriate in my situation. I said, daughter of Mr. Dad and the late Mrs. Mom

I did include my dads gf in family pictures though so that hopefully she didnt feel left out.

Blended families are SOOOO tricky. Just do what is right for you. She sounds like a lovely lady and Im sure she will be fine with whatever you choose. 

Post # 4
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I would list it as Mr. Dad and Ms.name, special friend.

The two of you are close and you want to honor her. You should be able to do that. You are also honoring your mom in the program so everyone will be included. It is your special day and hopefully nobody will get their feathers ruffled.

Post # 5
11598 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would not list someone as my mother if they weren’t my mother.  That’s a very special title to me, and I will only ever have one mother.  I would just list your dad as “father of the bride” and call it a day.

Post # 6
9859 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would list parents of the bride

the late mom’s name, father’s name (girlfriend’s name)

I have divorced parents, one of whom is remarried and I’m considering doing the same thing.

Post # 7
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Can you call her friend of the bride?

Post # 8
1869 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

could you use a different heading than parents of the bride? I know that is the traditional wording but maybe something like

Family of the Bride

The late Mrs. Jane Smith

Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Doe


Post # 9
1649 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

If you think your mother’s side will be offended by it, then I would say not to. 

Post # 10
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

littlemisshostess:  this is exactly what I would suggest. Of course mention your mother and father, but close as your are to your dad’s girlfriend it seems she is a permanent member of your family. It’s only right to acknowledge her. I would use a format like what littlemisshostess suggested, “family” instead of “parents”. You could even mirror that on your FI’s side too “family of the groom”. Everyone will know his parents are his parents even without the heading. 

Post # 11
744 posts
Busy bee

It’s so nice that you have a great relationship with your dad’s girlfriend. I would think outside the box on this one a little bit.  How important is it to you to have traditional programs where people are all listed under different headings?  Is your wedding big/diverse enough that many people won’t already know who people are?  Or could you come up with something creative that doesn’t create a “parent” heading that you have to awkwardly decide what to put under?  For instance, you could maybe put a message thanking all the people who have been instrumental in your special day, and list your dad and his girlfriend there (and mention your mom as well).  I’m not the most creative person so I’m not exactly sure how you’d structure it, but I think there are plenty of options that would allow you to sidestep this altogether and avoid hurting anyone or otherwise making things weird.

Post # 12
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

littlemisshostess:  that’s a good plan.

I would not list another woman/ man under “parents” unless it was my bio or step parent.

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