Post # 1
Here is my deal. Maid/Matron of Honor is set. My best friend since I was 5. I was hers. She’ll be mine.
But the rest of the party is going to kill me with stress!
I am an only child, so no siblings. But I have 4 girl cousins. 3 are siblings. My oldest cousin, J, I am VERY VERY close to. Her 2 sisters are twins, and I USED to be close to, but since we all ‘grew up’ and have jobs and lives, we grew apart. The 4th I am not close to at all and only see once every two or three years.
Ideally, I would have my Maid/Matron of Honor, cousin J, and two of my close friends.
However, when cousin J got married three years ago, her twin sisters and other cousin were talking about how mean it was that cousin J had me and her sisters in her bridal party, but not the other cousin. She DID however have other cousin sing (GORGEOUS opera singer) during the ceremony, but the fam was still upset.
So, A- would it be awfull to just have cousin J. Or should I just bite the bullet, leave my two close friends out, and have the Maid/Matron of Honor and my 4 cousins to save drama and stress in the family? Or would it be possible to have just Cousin J? I dont’ know if it’s a non-or-all situation?
I guess I feel torn. It is my wedding, and I want people beside me who I am close to. But then again, I dont’ want anybody’s feelings hurt!
Post # 3
I would just have your one cousin and your friends. If you’re going to leave somebody out, it makes sense that it’s three people, rather than just the one cousin.
Plus, I’m a huge advocate for really just having the people you WANT. It’s often a huge expense to be in a wedding. It’s possible your cousins will be relieved.
Post # 4
@SapphireSun: Completely agree. Have who you truly want to be up there with you.
Post # 5
I’m in a similar situation as you are. I have a very close-knit family. I had three girls picked, and there are 4 guys in the groom’s party. So that left me with one person to pick. I have two girl cousins that i’m close to, but I had to pick one. Plus, one is my age, and the other is much younger. I chose the one I am close to, and am having my younger cousin play guitar during my ceremony. Win/win. I can tell the younger cousin is a little bitter, but as @SapphireSun said, it’s YOUR wedding.
I say have who you WANT in your party. Maybe there’s another way for the others to be involved?
Post # 6
You need to have the people you want and are closest too. It is hard sometimes. It was hard for me to not include some people and even harder when I had to demote my sisters from MOH’s and promote my best friend but in the end eveybody understoon and it was for the best. Because, those are the people you are going to have to A) put up with through this whole crazy process and B) going to have to be able to really trust and be able to lean on ON your wedding day. Besides, Its YOUR day. You only get this day once so have it the way YOU want!
Post # 7
Ditto the above. Have those you really want up there in your wedding. J can be the ‘family representation,’ there’s no reason to have the twins and another cousin out of obligation. Like @SapphireSun: said, leaving 3 out is better than just 1. Your family shouldn’t get riled.
Post # 8
I agree with having the people that you really what up there with you. Do what is best for you.
Does your Fiance have any close female’s in his family (or even a close female friend) that he would want in the wedding. I know we made it a point to include his family/friends in ours as well… just an idea.