Post # 1
Traditionally in our culture family invites friends, coworkers, people not invited to the wedding,etc..
What is the norm these days for this? Do you invite whoever you want or just women that were invited to the wedding? I wanted to invite several coworkers. i just think the games are fun but they are not invited to the wedding as we are having a small intimate wedding. Thoughts? I dont care about the gifts, in fact i would tell them specifically to not bring any, since its not about that but just having a good time. Suggestions?
Post # 3
I think the etiquette is that you’re not supposed to invite anyone not invited to the wedding (because it looks gift-grabby). After that, some people invite all female guests, and some just invite those closer to them. I am still debating what to do for mine. My family/friends are very spread out, which makes it harder.
Post # 4
Uh, I would not invite anyone who is not invited to the wedding. I think it is considered rude. I know I would not go if I wasnt invited to the wedding.
ETA: I see you said you would tell them not to bring gifts but they most likely still would. The point is to “shower” the bride with gifts. Your coworkers may throw a surprise one for you at work anyway.
Post # 5
@fuentesbee: I would invite those that you know will find it acceptable. If your friends/coworkers/family have the same cultural values then invite them regardless of wedding attendance, but otherwise, don’t.
I’m a follower of the “No Wedding – No Shower” for invitaiton but my mother has a group of friends that play cards together and they always throw a shower for the children even though none are invited to the wedding. She’s asked the ladies to simply attend the 1 shower instead of holding two and htey’re fine with it. Thats why I would say if you’re guests are 100% okay not being invited ot the wedding and invited to the shower anyways, then go for it even if its against the “traditional” rules.
Post # 6
2nd-ing the “no wedding invite, no shower invite” rule. Since the point is to “shower” the bride with gifts, you’re kind of sending the message that a guest is important enough to give you a gift, but not important enough to share in your special day.
Some circles invite every lady on the wedding guestlist. I insisted on only family and bridal party. This gave us a guestlist of about 25 which IMO is plenty. Bridal parties aren’t supposed to be huge; they’re an intimate gathering of women you care about.