Post # 1
Firstly, I believe that we fall deeply in love with our babies and our young families. But speaking as a mother of older children I have come full circle to know that my love for my husband is above and beyond that for my children. But that is because I am seeing them for the individuals that they have grown into and will soon enter the world as. Not as the babies and young ones dependent upon me for life.
I love my children dearly and deeply but I have returned to the original state of the union with my husband where I have remembered where and why it all began. Between the two of us and our love for each other. The kids will grow and move away and the relationship with my husband will be on the forefront of my mind. It is he that I will pass the days with while my children grow and live their own lives and create their own families.
I never thought i would feel this way but 25 years of marriage and parenting has brought my husband so much close to me.I don’t think i can love anyone as much as i love my husband now not even my children.
Do you feel the same way or i am somewhat different ?
Post # 3
We don’t have nearly as much history as you do, but I truly think its a different kind of love. In a way, the love for my son is unconditional. I created him, I carried him, and it is my responsibility to see he grows up happy and healthy. Fiance on the other hand isn’t nearly as unconditional. We have to work on our love (which isn’t a bad thing) and work at it. I can’t say I wouldn’t always love him, but of course there are those certain exceptions (abuse, etc) where I could potentially fall OUT of love with him. Know what I mean? Then again, he isn’t my son’s father so we don’t have that same bond either.
Post # 4
I think it is a truly beautiful sentiment. I have always believed the love for one’s spouse should take precedence over love for one’s children. That love precedes the children and will last long after the children have moved out. Your spouse is the one you will grow old with, whereas children are meant to grow up and out of the home and hopefully find a great love of their own.
I also think it is very emotionally healthy for children to know that their parents are deeply in love with one another and put each other first. I only wish my parents had as great a love as that so that I could be certain of their happiness as they continue to grow old together…unfortunately that is not the case.
Post # 5
I don’t think it’s appropriate to ask or say “who do you love more” I obviously love Fiance and Dirty Delete both VERY much, but I love them both in different ways!
Post # 6
@Mara09: I don’t think love for your spouse should take precedence OVER your children. your children are apart of you, they came from you and are here because of you. and how would a child feel if they heard “i love your daddy/mommy more than i love you”….I would never tell my daughter that!
our daughter is here because Fiance and I love each other, therefore she was made out of love. i love her, i love him but i definitely don’t love one more than the other, i love them in different ways
ETA: and your love for your children continues even after they move out, just because they move out and you say with SO after they leave, doesn’t mean your love for your children stop but continues with your SO. I’ll love our children and Fiance until the day i die. them moving out won’t make me love them less or stop loving them
Post # 7
F Scott Fitzgerald said there are all kinds of love but never the same love twice. I believe they are completely different but equally the same
Post # 8
What? No option for the dog?
Post # 9
Weird question. I think it’s totally different and not really comparable.
Post # 10
I think this would be better worded as in, “if you had to choose between your kids & your husband”, instead of who you love more.
It’s clear that you love them in differant ways, equally.
Post # 11
I love my SO deeply, but there is no person in the world I could ever imagine loving as much a I love my daughter.
Post # 12
Post # 13
I don’t have kids yet, but I don’t think I could love my Fiance more than someone I give birth to and I kinda expect him to love our child just as much. Your child is always your child, but as I have seen from reading posts on this board about divorced parents causing issues at weddings your spouse doesn’t always remain your spouse.
Post # 14
i voted I love them both equally different but of course my kids are my #1 priority and we both feel the same way about our kids.
Post # 15
One of the reasons FH and I have decided never to have kids is because we’ve seen too many couples where the spouse is competing for their husband/wife’s love and time and attention with the kids… AND LOSING. What a nightmare!
Post # 16
@jessivivi: I personally don’t believe that anyone should love their spouse more or in any way put their spouse above their children. I think your kids should always be your number one love and priority.