(Closed) Who else has ‘Wedding OCD’?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Oh, Miss Pizza, you aren’t a total a$$! We brides tend to get swept away in weddings… and the grooms never, if rarely, understand how important it is to have those perfect bouquets, or that perfect ring box, or heck, even those perfect yet totally-unimportant-to-anyone-but-you satin peep-toes. You aren’t going crazy… but I think you should ask your groom what IS important about this wedding to him, and give the responsibility of that to him! I know my FI gave be big blank stares when I used to talk about anything wedding to him, but now that I’ve slowly pulled out of him what’s important to him, he’s MUCH more interested, MUCH more excited, and MUCH less grouchy about the whole thing. You have to understand that while the details are important to you, they aren’t really to him. Our other halves tend to tell us "Whatever you want, honey" but then it backfires when we actually start doing just that, and then they feel left out of the process. It’s his day too! If he says this is "the most important day of his life because of the ceremony and because we love each other" then tell him to organize the ceremony… like help pick readings, help word the programs, etc. I know that once he feels involved, he’ll feel like it’s his day too!

Good luck, and I promise there are MANY brides out there (including myself) who are wedding OCD.

Post # 4
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I second MissSnowflake! You’re plans sound great and he’s just having his moment like we do.  So just give him a chance to be heard and help.  Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Miss Pizza, as I explained to FI, weddings are all about the details, and so yes, I feel it’s okay to micromanage. Even if no one else gets it. I myself spent hours gluing itty bitty rhinestones on to itty bitty flowers to put on my invatation ENVELOPES b/c I thought they needed spicing up. I spent months looking for the shoes, and am now scouring antique stores for  THE bag. Mind you, this is all for my understated Las Vegas wedding, where exactly 15 people are slated to attend. This is not my first wedding. I know better, but for some reason, once you get ‘inside the wedding vortex’, I think you’re stuck until the end.

I DO take time to do unwedding stuff, but at any given moment I can tell you how many days I have left (89) and let you know the next 5 items on the to do and to-buy lists. Time at the gym is used to consider whether or not to put tags on the favors.

Just give FI some time and some space. Maybe plan an anti-wedding day, or offer to go 3 days without saying anything pertaining to the wedding. He doesn’t and won’t get it. It’s your vortex.

Post # 7
Member
299 posts
Helper bee

I’m OCD already- while I’m already anal about the wedding planning stuff (the usual: organized folders of ideas, lists of all kinds, conversing with FI on it constantly, etc.), I’m actually OCD, and it gets worse when things require a certain amount of perfection and when stress gets to me- so the wedding has kicked it into full gear. Mostly a numbers issue, and some touch/feeling moments. It’s been active since I was in elementary school, so I can usually employ mental techniques to keep it at bay, but the more stress kicks in, the more I feel like I need to control the situation, and that’s when the touch/feeling/number deal starts up. Ie, I always do things in certain odd numbers as opposed to even numbers. For example, if I were to have (not sure if I’m having them yet or not, since our "ceremony" is atheist and incredibly brief) I would have to have either 3 or 5, not 2 or 4. On bad days, if a water glass is turned in the wrong way at lunch, I have to turn it certain ways until it "feels right." FI understands and nicknamed me Crazy, which is fine, I know I’m crazy, but such is life! At least I’ve had years of practice in controlling the control-focused mental issue  HAH! 

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