Post # 1
Having just seen Mr. Bee’s engagement guide for the first time I’ve been left feeling a little shocked (no offense, Mr. Bee). I personally don’t see waiting as all that necessary. Our engagement went like this:
Me: FI, we’ve been together for 4 years. And we’ve been living together for most of a year now, and I think we’re both happy.
Me: I’d like to get married. Will you marry me next summer?
FI: Okay. But… can you give me a week or two to get you a ring before we tell everyone?
And that is how it went down. Did anybody else do this??
Post # 3
I’ve seen a couple other people on the boards who popped the question. It wasn’t right for us because whenever we discussed marriage it was clear that I was ready first. I didn’t want to propose and pressure him into saying yes. I definitely thought about it though!
Post # 4
Lol! I asked my Fiance to marry me! However, he refused to answer b/c he was like “I’m not letting you do this, I SHOULD do this.” So eventually he did but I wasn’t really surprised when he actually proposed b/c he gave me love letters detailing our time together immediately prior to proposing.
Post # 5
Yeah I didn’t propose, but didn’t get a proposal either. I was never a waiting bee, I learned about that when I discovered WB and was shocked at first…
Ours was us discussing about how we were both tired of travelling between his house and his apartment all the time. It’s December.
Me: Yeah, I know it really sucks and I don’t like travelling either, but I don’t want to be living together as a test. When I move it, it will be because we’re both committed to spend our lives together and there’s no moving out.
Him: Yeah, well for me too.
Me: well, we have to wait then..
Him: well, do you mean you want to be engaged before you move in?
Me: … I thought that was clear!
Him: I don’t want to get married tomorrow.
Me: me neither; anyway once we’re engaged, we’ll start by moving in and then plan our wedding, it won’t be less than a year.
Him: ok then
Me: ok what??
Him: I really like that plan, let’s do this.
Me: so you’re saying we’re getting engaged?
WE went to buy a ring 3 days later right before going to dinner with my parents. We wanted a ring to break the news.
Post # 6
Aw, that’s quite sweet really. I asked my FH once, quite seriously, and he replied with equal seriousness, “No. I’m going to ask you when I’m ready”. And that was that.
Post # 7
@egb, that’s hilarious. I had to double back at “I really like that plan”. Very cute.
Post # 8
I think it’s funny too.. I love that once we had that conversation, we didn’t go through the waiting part where both of us know it’s going to happen but the guy has to come up with a proposal… First I’m not good at waiting, second, I love that we decided together, and finally, DH would have been really really nervous from that moment until it’s done, and I wouldn’t have wanted him to feel nervous about something like that.
It’s not the most romantic story though especially since I believe what I told him right after was “let’s go celebrate” while heading towards the bedroom, ha!
Post # 9
I feel really bad for so many people who feel like their life is on hold because they’re “waiting”. The tradition that men HAVE TO ask is ridiculous, imo, because some men, like my FI, are clueless. I would have been “waiting” ten years for a ring if I’d left it up to him, because he’s just really inattentive to this sort of thing and always puts off every non-academic matter until it NEEDS to happen or something catastrophic occurs. We’d been talking about getting married since a few months into our relationship, and had all the sorts of are-we-really-compatible conversations deemed necessary by enagement advice websites about our goals, beliefs, and so on. We were planning on applying to grad schools together and buying furniture, stocking a house, and so on, with our combined money. We talked constantly of “when we are married”, “when we have kids”, and so on. We definitely wanted to marry each other. Being the more sensible-minded of us two, I intended to do the proposing, lest we be together fifteen years before getting married (not that there’s anything wrong with that necessarily, but it seemed senseless for us because we KNEW then and boy would it have felt anti-climactic to me to get married after basically acting as his wife for so long). I dreamed up a romantic proposal, bought a ring, and did the deed. It was wonderful and beautiful, and now we’re very happy and planning our wedding. The world didn’t turn inside out or anything. Tradition was subverted and everything is going along swimmingly.