Who Gets an Invitation?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Kaylaa:  I’m not sure the formal etiquette but when I did my invites for people in relationships I sent the invite to one address with both names to the person who is the relation/close friend… so the one invite we sent to FBIL with his and his girlfriends name on it.

Even though they don’t live together they’re still in a relationship, I think that’s fine to send it that way. We did +1 to people who were in committed relationships too, I think it’s nicer to have the persons name on it, it’ll be clear that way.

In terms on age, anyone over 19 (legal age here) received their own invite. But, realistically your 17 year old cousin is not going to care about getting his own invite… save the paper.

Post # 4
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Kaylaa:  I can’t speak to the etiquette answer, but I will speak to how I perceive this.

Do you have a good relationship with the significant others where you speak to them separately from your family member? If so, then they’d get their own invitation. If you only interface with them when you’re around your family member, then I would send the invitation to the family member & include the name of their significant other.

For those who are not in college and living at home, I just included them in their parents’ invitation. I also included some college age cousins in their parents’ invitations because I was never given their address at school despite asking and/or they would never have responded if I had sent it to them directly.

Post # 5
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Kaylaa:  Ahhhhh! Makes sense. And Yeaaa! Canadian bride! Haha.

Obviously I don’t know your family, so if you think they would be offended by grouping the famjam invite together then send him another one.

Our families are pretty casual so I did grouping and hand delivered most of the invites as well.

Post # 6
Member
5002 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Kaylaa:  I don’t know the etiquette behind it either – but I would send one invitation to one address with both their names on it. I wouldn’t be offended by this, at all. 

I would also group your cousin w/his parents, but if he moves out, send him his own invitation.

Post # 7
Member
6591 posts
Bee Keeper

For couples 1 and 2, I would send one invite to each couple with it addressed to family member and the SO. For the youngster, I would just add his name to the parents’ invitation since it’s not clear where he’ll be living later. 

Post # 8
Member
2679 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

If they live in different places I would give seperate invites.

Post # 9
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I gave each couple one invite with both of their names on it. Mr. and Mrs. or if not married Mr. and Ms. 

Post # 10
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

Definitely just one invitation per couple. My fiance and I have been together since we were in high school, and any wedding we went to (before we were ever engaged) was addressed to me and him, sent to me. For the cousin… Include him in family. I’d say if they’re 18+ they get their own, but even if he’s moved out by the wedding, he might not even know his new address by the time you send invites. He won’t care, and with his age is say its fine, especially givem his kind of being in limbo address-wise.

 

Also a Canadian bride here 🙂

Post # 11
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

Actually, if you’re unsure about the cousin, ask his mom where you should send it as you don’t know where he’ll be living, she’ll probably tell you to include him on hers

Post # 12
Member
2325 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

When we did our invitations for couples we sent it to them as a couple irregardless of if they lived together or not. This was definitely the case for the best man and his girlfriend and my SIL and her boyfriend. 

I would send them the invites as a couple (so only two invites)

As for the cousin I would add him to the parents.

 

ETA: Or you could do him a separate invite but still send to the parents house. I am sure they can make sure he receives it. That is what we did with my cousin because we didn’t know where he would be

  • This reply was modified 2 years ago by  FromA2B2013.
Post # 14
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee

I do know the etiquette, and every one of your guests deserves the same minimum respectful treatment: and invitation sent to him or her by name, at his or her own address.

So Grampa and his lady-friend get two invitations, one to each address. Similarly cousin-in-law and girlfriend get two invitations.

As for fiance’s cousin: is he a child who goes where his adults take him? Or (as I presume given he is old enough to drive) is he an independent person who keeps his own social calendar and goes to events on his own, accepting or declining according to his own schedule rather than going where he is told on his parent’s schedule? If the latter, he gets his own invitation too.

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