Who gets corsages and boutonnieres?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3850 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

If you’ve got the money, I’d say everyone except the ring bearer. 

Post # 4
Member
969 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta

@BeeRod527:  Sounds good. We are doing similar:

5 Groomsmen 

2 mothers

2 fathers

2 grandmothers

1  grandfather

2 ushers

Not having any readings and don’t have a ring bearer or they would too. The ring bearer should have one, he is like a mini groomsmen. 

Post # 5
Member
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I was thinking my mom, his mom but should I do his step dad too? I have no male figure on my side getting one. btw-Not close at all… His mom Married him a few years ago so not “dad” figure but I just didnt think about it until reading this. For some reason I thought only groomsmen and corsages for important women.

Post # 6
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

The groomsmen and the people who made you possible, ie moms, dads and grands

Post # 8
Member
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I am getting:

groomsmen

mothers

fathers

grandmothers

grandfather

godmothers

Post # 9
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

A stepdad is a parent. Even though he didn’t raise your fiance, he should get a bout. Annoying, yeah, but even a really nice bout shouldn’t cost you a penny more than $20, and less if you’re DIYing your flowers. That’s not too high a price for making sure his stepdad (and more importantly, his mom) feels properly respected and included.

Everyone in the wedding party should have flowers, and that includes your ring bearer. It can also include anyone who’s sort of an “official” part of the wedding  – greeters, readers, etc. – but it doesn’t have to. My advice, however, would be to make sure your greeters have them as it will make it easier on your guests as they arrive and wonder whom they should approach for programs and the like. Grannies are another place you could cut, but I’d caution against it if they’re going to get their feelings hurt. And I would DEFINITELY not cut them if they’re part of your processional! Just make sure that you’re consistent! If your aunt gets flowers, his aunt gets flowers, that kind of thing.

Post # 10
Member
5068 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

Mums

Dads

Gm’s 

Bm’s (wrist corsages instead of posies)

Post # 11
Member
2073 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

we had boutonnières for DH, his groomsmen, my dad, and FIL.  My mom, MIL, and grandmother had corsages. We didn’t have any readers and the groomsmen were ushers. Both grandfathers are deceased. My flower girl carried a pomander and we didn’t have a ring bearer. 

Post # 12
Member
9956 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here… lol

Your list is perfect… the only other possibilities are:

  • Step-Parents if you are close to them
  • Grandfathers if you have them
  • God-Parents if you have them

Hope this helps,

PS… To save money, you can certainly cut back the list… BUT I’d perfer to cut expenses elsewhere.  Most of the “details” money on your Wedding Day is usually spent on the Reception… this is one spot at the Wedding Ceremony where you are spending money on Others / Your Special Guests… people who you are “Most Honoured” to have there to support you.  In the big picture a Corsage or Bout is not a large expense… and means so much… people are genuinely touched you’ve remembered them, and thought to include them in this way.

 

Post # 13
Member
1272 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1994

I had not considered this idea.

Post # 14
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I have a maid of honor, he has a best man, then my dad and a friend who’s singing. What about the officiant? She’s a close friend, like a mother to me, and her daughter is my maid of honor. Would it be weird to get her a corsage? Or does that fall in the “do it if you want” category?

Post # 15
Member
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

This might sound crazy but you could diy them to save money! I did mine nd they turned out great! There’s no way I could afford them all by a florist. 

Also, grocery stores (like harris teeter if you have them) do a great job for a lot cheaper.

Post # 16
Member
1671 posts
Bumble bee

@BeeRod527: The generally applicable etiquette rule is:

  • gentlemen send flowers to ladies as a sign of their admiration or regard, the bigger the gift of flowers, the higher the regard.
  • ladies give flowers to gentlemen as a favour — a token that the gentleman is acting on their behalf, the same size regardless because it is only a token

So, traditionally, you as bride give boutonnieres to every gentleman acting on your behalf (even the four-year-old gentleman)

Your fiance, as groom, gives flowers to any lady he wishes to honour. So if he doesn’t wish to honour his grammies and aunty (and yours) he doesn’t have to. But you are allowed to raise your eyebrow and look disappointed while saying in a sad voice “of course, it is up to you.”

Here’s a surprise bit of info for you: did you know that he is also supposed to pick out your bouquet and send it to you as a gift on the morning of your wedding, relying on no guidance from you but on his own good taste? And your bridesmaids’ bouquets, if any, are traditionally sent to them by the bride’s father.

 

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