Who gets invited to the Bridal Shower?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

@PaisleyMedic:  My mom and FMIL invited all the women who are invited to the wedding, which totaled 65. 47 showed up. I think FMIL was worried about offending people (FIs family is wayyyyy bigger than mine), so she invited everyone. 

Post # 4
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It’s up to you and who you want there. Typically all female family is invited, I will be inviting all my aunts (12) plus all female cousins (or male cousins’ wives/gfs), all FI’s aunts, gmas, female cousins (or male cousins’ wives/gfs), and all our cousins children, I will be inviting some greataunts, my BMS and about 6 other female friends, my mom’s friends, and some of FI’s moms friends. I see the majority of these people like once a year, some I’ve never met (FI’s mom’s friends) but typically these are the people that should be included. I don’t expect the out of town ones to come, but they should still be sent an invite. 

Post # 5
Member
4163 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

If all 50 are invited, you might end up with half that attend. Since it would cause drama, go ahead and invite all the relatives.

And I think it would be fine to tell the parents that if they want to bring the kids to the shower, that’s okay (I loved going to showers with my Mom when I was little- felt like such a grownup thing to do.)

Post # 6
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

All females that are invited to the wedding are invited to mine, including the out of town guests. I absolutely don’t expect the out of town guests to come and don’t mind if others don’t either, but just to make it easy, they’re all invited.

Post # 7
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@PaisleyMedic:  Whew, that’s a heck of a list. I say invite everyone because more than likely you won’t end up with everyone attending. Maybe half or a little less due to the fact that you are not close with some and a lot of them live far away. I think it would save you some drama and hurt feelings later. In the case of friends, invite only who you are close with. You don’t need to invite those that invited you to their’s.

I would also invite FI’s family. I just invited grandmas, aunts, and girl cousins old enough to attend. I said 13 was old enough to attend becuase that is when I consider them “teenagers.” Anything younger I would exclude from the invite.

Post # 8
Member
2421 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

At a family shower, all the adult (and often teenaged) female family members are invited, in addition to the female members of the bridal party.  To add to that, close family friends are invited as well, even if they aren’t invited to the actual wedding.  It’s not uncommon here to have someone at the shower who isn’t going to the wedding (say, my grandmother’s next door neighbour – they came to my cousin’s shower and were just excited to be included and celebrate a little with her.  They’d watched her grow up.)  Some of the bride’s friends are invited as well, and the groom’s family if they’re close (at least his mother and any sisters/sister in laws.)  

Generally it’s gone like this – bride’s family shower, groom’s family shower, friend’s/coworker’s shower.  That’s how its gone for my cousin’s, at least. 

Post # 9
Member
2882 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Family, both sides; Aunts all get an invite, which leads to a similar number as yours.  This includes my aunt in FL and his in OK and TX, which are pretty far out, and likely won’t make it.  Extending an invite here is more of a “We love you and would like you there” then a “You have to attend”

All female cousins that are blood related are invited.  Those that married in are only invited if they live close by (for us, this is in the state)

Friends; My high school friends have been inviting eachother to showers for a while now.  We don’t see eachother as much as we would like, but this is a chance to catch up.

Grown up friends it depends on how close we are.  My college friends aren’t invited, as they are just so spread out now, that they aren’t getting an invite.

I also am not inviting every adult friend that invited me to their shower.  We have some people on the invite list just because we are keeping the door open on the friendship, but we aren’t particularly close. 

Parent’s friends on the invite list; Nope, none are invited.

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