(Closed) who gets the money?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think it is for both since gifts are usually for the enjoyment of both people in the relationship.

Post # 4
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think it should be used for both. If I got money from a shower, I would probably put it toward our honeymoon.

Post # 5
Member
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’d say it’s a present for the couple, not the bride… even though I recognize it’s strange to say that about a BRIDAL shower gift… However, you could discuss it with FI and he might be fine with you using that for something for you 😉

Post # 6
Member
674 posts
Busy bee

I would expect any gift I give at a bridal shower to be for the couple. I realize that traditionally the groom doesn’t attend, but the gift is for the union.

Post # 7
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

It belongs to the couple but what you do with it depends on the dynamic of your financial relationship. 

Post # 8
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Aren’t you getting married? All money given as part of any wedding events is for both of you. 

Post # 9
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Hey, hon (noticed the Smyth ad on your profile :)- it’s for both of you.

Post # 10
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

the basis of the gift is because you are getting married – i would use the money to buy something for your home so its a shared gift

Post # 11
Member
9552 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Agree with PPs. It is for both of you.

Post # 12
Member
2620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Oh I am so going to Hades for this one, but…

…does FI have to be made aware you got money at your shower?? :)~

Post # 13
Member
8321 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@BothCoasts:  Why would you lie (by obmission) to your soon to be hubby?

 

@kelly105:  You would really buy a dress with shower money? Seriously? I can’t even get passed that point.

Post # 14
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@BothCoasts:  Seriously? WTH? Yes, he does.

@kelly105:  Seriously? WTH? It’s for the couple.

And another Seriously? WTH? for emphasis.

Post # 15
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

 Um.(taking deep breathe)

Sorry. It is not only your money, but his as well.  Yes you have to tell him. The reason I gift cash at showers, are so that the couple usually can pool the money together and purchase larger gifts, downpayment on home, furniture, appliances, pr anything really that will help start their lives together….But not for a new wardrobe. I guess that is the price I pay for not just buying them a toaster.

Post # 16
Member
1941 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Gifts at the shower are intended to be used by the couple, whether it’s something off the registry or a ‘lingerie’ themed shower.

Dude. You’re about to get married and you’re thinking of hiding money from your future husband so you can buy a dress? Selfish much?

^I don’t mean to be harsh, but c’mon. If you have to ask, you know it’s wrong.

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