Who had a ringless proposal?

posted 3 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
Member
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

This was us!  We talked about marriage, even looked at venues, and he surprised me and proposed on our anniversary without a ring.  Then we looked at rings, I picked one and we bought it!  Got it about 4 weeks after the proposal.  Everyone was still excited for us, and I felt engaged, and then they all got excited again when the ring came! 

A few people asked, and I would say, we wanted to ring shop together, but he wanted to surprise me with the proposal, best of both worlds!  Most people hearing that actually got a little jealous, they either weren’t surprised by the proposal, or they didn’t get to pick their ring. 

Post # 3
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

I dislike the idea of a ring-less proposal, but I understand your SO’s reasoning behind it. Would he consider proposing with a thin diamond band (or a plain band etc. it would depend on the style of engagement ring you want and what you’d planned for your wedding band) which you can then wear with your engagement ring and wedding band?

 

Post # 4
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

sophielle:  I’m not going to have an engagement ring, cause I don’t like the whole ritual of “guy does the asking, girl does the accepting, girl is marked as engaged, guy isn’t” thing. I’m going to have a pretty, unique wedding ring rather than just a band in place of engagement ring.

Post # 5
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

We did! And I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Lazy Sunday in our PJs and he proposed then that Friday we took work off, got dressed up and went ring shopping and out for a fancy dinner that night. No one should ever judge your proposal. It is about who you are as a couple. However, if you really dislike being proposed to without a ring then maybe it’s not for you and that’s fine too. I didn’t feel any less engaged and we decided not to tell people until I had the ring so it was really fun having this little secret between us for afew days 🙂

Post # 6
Member
8071 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Logically I get all he’s saying but I wouldn’t be into that. I’d rather an inexpensive stand in for the proposal if we were doing the shop together/custom route- the sparkle is just part of the dream for me. He asks me to marry him all the time but it doesn’t feel official to us sans ring.

I think you should be honest with your feelings about it to him and yourself! I’m sure he’d want you to be happy as can be. This is a wholly personal thing you should feel confident and excited about your choice.

Post # 9
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

 

sophielle:  I ended up secretly telling a few close firends. My FI knew this. You need the remember the ring is not what matters it’s the fact that you’re marrying him. I know it’s easy to get wrapped up in the ring and all that stuff, but ultimately what matters is you’re maryring the love of your life!

Post # 11
Member
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

We did this! I’m in the uk so maybe it’s different but the idea of ring shopping and even buying a ring together before the proposal is something I had never heard of before coming on the bee. Everyone I know either got proposed to with a surprise ring that their fi had chosen, or got proposed to with no ring or a stand in and the chose a real ring together. I find the idea of ring shopping together before the proposal really strange, but I think it’s a cultural thing!

my fi propose with a haribo ring (it had been a joke between us) and then we chose my real ring together. I would have preferred him to choose the ring if it was up to me, but I have been married before and he was really worried about getting a ring that was similar to my previous one!

Post # 12
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

sophielle:  I totally get it. People make a huge deal about the ring. Even at my bridal shower the first thing I was asked by a cousin I barely see was “Let’s see the hardware!” Not “Oh congratulations!” or anything like that. If there’s one thing I could go back and tell my unengaged self it would be to focus on what it means to the two of you. The wedding industry is huge and influential but at the end of the day it really has no power over how successful your marriage will be. That’s up to the two of you (and life in general does have influence). Is it fun to plan and get a pretty ring and a fabulous dress? Sure. But the specifics of those things really have nothing to do with love and commitment. I hope he asks you soon and you’re very happy, however and whenever that happens 🙂

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  Songstress_7.
Post # 15
Member
1787 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

It was a few months between when we decided we were getting married and when we went ring shopping. It wasn’t a big deal.

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