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Who has a threesome with their SO or fiancé ?

posted 3 months ago in Intimacy
  • 3 Members Subscribed To Topic
  • poll: Would you have a threesome with your SO?
    Absolutely! Why not? Nothing wrong with trying something fun! : (37 votes)
    9 %
    No. It will ruin our relationship : (314 votes)
    79 %
    Hmmmmmm maybe : (49 votes)
    12 %
  •  
    1.
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    Helper bee
    mrs.folks.to.be    May 2012   St. Thomas, USVI

    My girlfriend was  telling me about an experience she had with her SO and how it worked out well for them. It was 2 girls and her SO and she said they had wonderful sex and how the fantasy is now out of his system. I personally would feel uncomfortable during and probably insecure afterwards. Has anyone done this? I'm curious to know if couples who do this, if they stay together in the long run? Share your opinions bees! Would you do it? And whatyou'd you sanaïf your SO fiancé asks you about it?

     
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    Honey bee
    hisgoosiegirl    June 18, 2011  

    whoa, not me. I'm insanely jealousof my DH, and he of me. No 3sies here.

     

    But maybe an exception for Hugh Jackman or Adrianna Lima. 

     
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    Helper bee
    mrs.folks.to.be    May 2012   St. Thomas, USVI

    @hisgoosiegirl:  Hahahahahaha! Good one! Or maybe Victor Cruz or Denzel Washington! Lol

     
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    Bichon Frise    June 2012   NC

    I'm going to say no to this one. It would be way too weird, and I'm sure FI and I would feel jealous in the situation. 

     
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    imalittlebirdie    May 24, 2014  

    neither of us share well... so totally not in the cards for us either.   I don't think i would be able to trust my after it, because you have bacicly said, "yea i am ok with you having sex with another woman..." IMOH

     
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    subbywife11    January 1, 2011  

    Not for us, but I've had some friends who told me they had a great time having one.  It's really up to each couple, but for us, it wouldn't end well for anyone involved.

    We have talked about it before though.  DH would want another girl and I would want another guy, so clearly, aside from our jealous issues, it wouldn't happen because we would never agree!

     
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    Earlybride    October 6, 2012  

    No to this on so many levels.

     
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    HappierKate    September 29, 2012  

    It's not really for us.  Unless it's an unenjoyable experience, I wouldn't count on the fantasty being out of the system...if I eat a piece of chocolate, it doesn't mean I won't want a second piece!

    I can totally see it working for some people, but I don't think it would for us, especially if it was a "one time" sort of deal.

     
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    Baimee       Santa Rosa, California

    I'd never consider it! The problem I'd have would be seeing him with another girl. Ugh. It'd be like cheating in FRONT of me. Anyone see Get Him to the Greek? I imagine it like that... only with two girls.

     

    Oh, and no dude/dude/lady. That's scary!

     
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    Sugar bee
    bookworm88    August 4, 2012  

    I say no, not because of jealousy issues or because it would "ruin our relationship"-- we just believe marriage is only for two people. 

    EDIT: "only for two people" for us, that is! I have no problem with people doing anything they want to do as long as there is mutual consent.

     
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    hisgoosiegirl    June 18, 2011  

    My problem is two girls=not enough penises, two guys=not enough entrances, cause sorry, if I'm the girl, you aint' getting no backdoor, and I don't want no stranger danger.

     
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    hisgoosiegirl    June 18, 2011  

    damn double post been stalking me all night

     
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    bearlove    July 1, 2012  

    Not for me, but not because I think it would necessarily ruin the relationship (I'm assuming it would be totally non-coerced, non-pressured). Just totally not my thing, nor FI's. The only way I can see it being hot for me is with 2 guys, but FI can only see it being hot for him with 2 girls, so there's that major issue lol! A good friend described trying it with her ex, and it was great for them, but I just never really saw an appeal in it for me so I'll pass. 

     
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    Bumble bee
    MissTX    May 17, 2013   Texas

    Definitely a fantasy of mine. With a random guy I'm dating or with a casual boyfriend. Even a serious boyfriend. With my current SO?? The man I will marry and have a family with?? I can't stomach it. I think I would seriously die at the idea of him touching, kissing, grabbing, enjoying another woman. I feel like threesomes have it's place and I regret never doing it in the past because there is NO way I would ever everrrr share my man with anyone else :0\ ahhh no. no no no. lol. We had a convo about this and I started crying because the thought is too much to take. lol

     
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    Mrs.Estep    December 11, 2010   VA

    No way! I would never share my husband, he is all I need & I am all he needs! I find our marriage to be sacred & would never ever have a threesome!

    & Not even before we was married!

     
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    Eva Peron    November 2011  

    Who has a threesome with their SO or fiancé ? :  wedding Tumblr Lr7qf3cFkK1qzcv7no1 500

     
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    Blushing bee
    roxymalone      

    it's not really my thing. but i will say back in the 80's me and my best (girl) friend had a 3 some with a guy we knew no strings attached and it was fun. probably more fun for him LOL.  i won't say i look back on it and think damn i hope that happens again. but it happened, and it  was fun. but....out of system.

     
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    Helper bee
    txbella    May 30, 2014   Texas

    well im bi, my FI and I regularly go to strip clubs, and have picked up a stripper to boot. so i feel secure enough in my relationship that 3somes etc arent a big deal. but i guess you can say im a bit more open minded in that area due to my orientation. so my vote was of course, why not?

     
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    Helper bee
    mireisen    August 3, 2013  

    @Baimee:  I definitely agree. A threesome to me would probably end up that way.

    I have a hard time pulling apart getting my rocks off and lovemaking. If I could I'd see it working out.

     
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    Busy bee
    bigcitybee    November 1, 2014   New York City

    Absolutely, positively NOT! Just...no in every way. We don't share well, and we have a crazy amazing sex life as it is already.  

     
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    Helper bee
    imageeksowhat    October 18, 2012   Richmond VA

    @txbella:  I don't really think sexuality has anything to do with it, seeing as bisexual is what I identify as and I'm not interested in threesomes and never have been. (even when I was exclusively dating a female. It was in secret from most people, but still, lol.) 

    It's not fear of jealousy, for me, it's just that I'm really not interested in being touched by anyone but him anymore and vice versa. He's all I need and it's just not our thing. Like, I can look at other people and go "damn, they're attractive!" but I don't feel the need or want to actually have sex with them.

    Different strokes for different folks, though, if it turns you on and it's not hurting anyone, go for it! 

     
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    MissPumpkinPie    October 13, 2012   Jersey Shore

    It's a fantasy of both of ours.  I would only do it if I didn't love the man with all of my heart and could stomach someone else being in our sex life.  That being said, it'll never happen.  I love him with all of my heart and don't want to think of him enjoying sex with another woman with us.  I'm sure he feels the same about me enjoying it with another man.  Our sex life is amazing the way that it is.

     
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    Soladylike       Tennessee

    @mrs.folks.to.be:  Threesome? That seems like a lot of work. I am not attracted to women and little ole me trying to please two men? No thanks.

     
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    Baimee       Santa Rosa, California

    @txbella:  I really don't think orientation has anything to do with it. This comment actually really bothered me. If that's how you feel, that's fine. I've just had to defend bisexuality to people before (I'm straight) because they think anyone who is bi is, well, promiscuous or wouldn't be able to be with a man without a woman or vice versa. 

    If you meant something more like "discovering who I am has made me open to more experiences, etcetc" then I wholeheartedly apologize. =)

    Also, I'm straight, but the problem is not at all with another lady being there, it would be with myyBF/FI/SO or what have you beingthere with that lady, haha. 

     
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    Buzzing bee
    claireos    September 8, 2012   Maryland

    Neither of us are capable of sharing in that way. :) Once he joked about bringing in another girl. I'm not attracted to women in that way so even if I was ok with a 3rd party it wouldn't be a female. So I said the only way there's gonna be a 3rd person is if it's a guy. He immediately vetoed that one for the same reason. Either way, we're too possessive of each other to share. 

     
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    txbella    May 30, 2014   Texas

    @Baimee:  geez i cone back to this post only to see people on the defense about MY beliefs lol.  and no i did not mean because im bi i automatically want 3somes as well as any other BI person, i am not that gullible. i am apart of a big group of LGBT in my city where some are not into that thing, so im well aware of the stereotypes. to each his own. but MY take on 3somes are a little different.. i personally couldnt deny myself of being with the same sex just because im in a commited relationship with a man. that attraction to women never dies just because you are taken now. some choose to subside it and some like myself choose to act on it, thankfully my FI doesnt restrict me or deny that part of my sexuality and is supportive.

     
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    joymarie83    June 2, 2012   Milwaukee,WI

    No thanks!

     
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    SpecialSundae    April 21, 2012   Dunfermline, Fife, Scotland, UK

    I'd seriously consider it. As in, we're in basic agreement that we would have a threesome if we found the right girl to join us in it, but not for a longer-term agreement.

     
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    Lyndzo    August 25, 2012   Milton, Ontario

    Definitely a NO from me.

     
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    KatyElle      

    That would be a negative. Don't get me wrong, I had plenty of fun in my younger days, but this is my husband. We have kids. I feel our relationship is evolved beyond sharing sex partners. No.

    Also because my husband would probably be ok with introducing a lady into a one night threesome situation, but he would FREAK OUT if I wanted to have a threesome with another man. No fair if you ask me haha!

     
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    Juliepants    June 2, 2012   Ontario

    Never with someone I love! 

     
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    MrsBlueSeptember    September 30, 2012  

    No way.  She may think her husband "got it out of his system", but she's most likely wrong.

    Both my fiance and my ex-husband had threesomes with their exes.  For my ex-husband, it happened to be with his first wife's best friend.  For years after that he messed around with the best friend behind his first wife's back.  The same goes for my fiance.  His ex-girlfriend liked to invite women into their bed every so often.  This didn't just happen one time either, it happened a handful of times with several different women.  He did the same thing my ex-husband did.  And this isn't just the men, because after the threesome, the other women involved wanted to sneak around on the side too.  I've heard from both my ex and my fiance that the thinking in the situation "wonder what it'd be like if she (wife or girlfriend) wasn't there" and because it already happened with her involved, it was somehow justifiable in their heads to do it without her.  For both of them, their women had rules about what you can and can't do during the threesome, as well as what you could and couldn't do after it (ie. getting together alone).  In both situations, their women were paranoid after the fact and always suspecting that he might be doing something with the other woman that he shouldn't.  Who wants to live with that insecurity as part of their relationship for the rest of their lives?  I'm not saying that every man or woman is like this, but why take the chance?  It's one thing if you're not in a serious relationship and you were experimenting with a friend or someone else, but if you truly love someone, why tempt him (or her)?  I believe inviting someone else into your bed is a recipe for trouble.  My fiance says that when he looks back on it now, he knew at the time it was a bad idea and ultimately tainted the relationship, but he wasn't going to say no when it was offered.  IMO it opens the door for insecurity, jealousy and infidelity. 

    Also, I'm the eye for an eye type.  So if my guy wanted a threesome with another chick, well he better be read for one with another guy.  Tongue Out

     
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    Honey bee
    KristenGotMarried    May 19, 2012   The Cbus

    I've had a threesome before, and so has FI, but they were definitely NOT with people we loved.  At this point I have no interest in bringing a third into our bedroom, but who knows if that'll change down the line.  I doubt it though.

     
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    txbella    May 30, 2014   Texas

    i think a common misconception is a 3some will ruin a relationship, thats pretty much a common response now that its almost accepted as 'truth' in todays society. and i beg to differ, its gotten a bad rap.

    i used to run in circles with long time married couples who were swingers i.e had open relationships, even met some  in their 40s and 50s and they also hated that stereotype of 3some equals automatic breakup of a relationship.

    now SOME relationships dont survive for whatever reason, but theres plenty of other couples that manage to have a healthy relationship post-threesome, some even stronger because of it. it is doable, my FI and I have our boundaries and we've managed almost 5 years now with no hiccups, so we dont all go down in flames. it would be interesting to see studies on this. anywho. bowing out now :)

     
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    thursdayschild    May 2012   Port Hueneme, CA

    @Cyanfire:  lmao. me too.

     
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    SkiBunny    August 3, 2012  

    Certain things I don't share and my man is one of them.

     
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    starbuck    October 13, 2012   Hudson Valley

    @Eva Peron:  LOL

    It is a fantasy of mine, in the abstract, but not something I would EVER actually be comfortable doing with my fiance!

     
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    whit.ney    September 8, 2012  

    I would perhaps make an exception for Hugh Jackman orrrrr Ryan Reynolds but other than that? Absolutely not.

    I do not share. Period. I would probably go ape**** if I saw him touching another girl or another girl touching him. Even the thought of it makes me irate. So, nope. No sharesies. Ever.

    He's mentioned it casually and I said the same thing to him. I've dumped a guy because he was pressuring me into doing this.

     
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    Blushing bee
    brandy-lynn    July 28, 2012   Canada

    Fiancé and I have had several threesomes (and foursomes) with both men and women. We've been doing it for quite awhile and it has actually positively affected our sex life.
    I agree it's definitely not for everyone ( or even most people) but it works for us.

     

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