Post # 1
I moved in with my FI in a different city last year, and while it’s been a great year for our relationship (we got engaged!), I am seriously missing having a close group of girl and guy friends.
FI has been here for a few years, and has a lot of friends and acquaintances, and I like most of them and have stolen a few of the girlfriends/wives from him.
I have made a couple female friends of my own, and we see each other 1-2 times a month. One is a former coworker, and one is a fellow grad student, but I am just so BUSY I feel like I don’t have time for “real” friendships.
FI, like most guys, is fine with a lot of more distant friendships, and a “I’ll see you when I see you” attitude, but it really bugs me to not have close friendships. One of my new friends is a little flakey, and while we get along great, I just found out she lied to me about why she was cancelling our plans for last weekend. (To go hang out with her boyfriend’s family on vacation… if she had told me the truth, I would have felt better than what she texted after a no-show: that she was just tired and didn’t feel like going anywhere!)
This is something FI would be annoyed with momentarily, but ignore long-term in the friendship. As a woman, would you keep a friend who just didn’t seem that bothered to meet up with you when planned?
Post # 3
You’re having more luck than me! I have not made any close gf’s living in my new city and I have been here almost a year. 🙁 I try and keep in touch with my friends back home but it’s not the same.
If a new friend is being flakey I would try and see if it was just a one time thing. If not, then I’d let it go. I’d rather have no friends than ones who flake on me constantly.
Post # 4
Give them a few more weeks to prove themselves, then pull away. My time is too valuable to get stood up 🙂
We just moved to Berkeley about 3 1/2 months ago, and friend making is going really well! We reached out to friends of friends (helps that we used to live in Boston and there are a TON of Boston transplants in the Bay Area). We’ve also joined some hiking, photography, and gaming groups on Meetup.com, which has been pretty awesome. We’re actually a little TOO social for my liking at the moment, haha!
Post # 5
@mrs_pudding_pop: I am going through the same thing 🙁 I have been away from home a long time & none of my good friends from my home town live here anymore. So in a way, my old state is my “home” & all my good friends are there, but it’s not the same. It sucks 🙁
Post # 6
@deetroitwhat: I have only visited once since moving and I was happy to see the friends I saw, but there are times when I feel like people have forgotten about me! I know it’s not the case, but I just wish I have had better luck here. It doesn’t help that SO isn’t very social and almost all his friends are basically aquaintances that we see from time to time and who have more of a friendship with his stupid ex gf.
Hugs to you! I have seen some bees mention meetup.com. Perhaps we should try that for friendly meetups? Couldn’t hurt. 🙂
Post # 7
@mrs_pudding_pop: Yeah, I hear you on trying to keep touch with old friends. It is really hard now that we are all busy full time working, career building adults. And I have never been one to enjoy phone conversations, I much prefer face to face.
A lot of my old friends have also moved away from our old city, so they are even farther away!
I will definitely give her another chance, but I really don’t like being lied to OR stood up! I guess I am not a very forgiving person, but I have been hurt before and I’m not willing to go through another crappy friendship for the sake of making a new friend asap!
Post # 8
I haven’t moved anywhere, but because I live in a military town, and all my friends are married to soldiers, they moved away recently.
One by one.
And now there’s a big possibility that my SO will be moving to Korea for a year in April, if he’s not deployed in Feburary.
So I definitely know it’s hard. I make friends easily, but close friends that I hang out with? Not so much. 🙁
I wish you luck on your friend hunt! I need some, that’s for sure, or I’m going to be fucking lonely.
Post # 9
I’ve been in my new town a year and still haven’t made any close friends. I have some friends at work, but they’re all in their 40s. There’s nothing wrong with that ..we’re just at different places in our lives and don’t have a whole lot in common.
Part of not making friends is my own fault, though. I don’t do a whole lot of activities where I could meet potential friends. I really need to look into doing more hobbies (yoga class, book clubs, etc.).
My SO has a great group of guy friends ..I’m bummed that only one of them has a girlfriend, and she lives out of state currently.
Those who have moved to a new town and made new friends ..what are your tips and suggestions?