- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
Just wanted to see how common this is that ladies who have sisters but wont be having them as their bridesmaids. I know this is true for me. My sisters and I just dont get along and arent really friends. We have the occasional Happy Birthday, Hi how are you, but thats pretty much it. We dont hang out, we dont call each other. What about you bees?
I have two sisters. One is going to be my MOH and the other one isn't going to be in my wedding, won't be invited, and won't know about the marraige until after the fact. I may change my mind about inviting her closer to the wedding, but I doubt it. She is too unstable for me to have in my life. And I can't count on her for anything.
Oh boy, I can relate. My sister and I don't have a relationship anymore -- we only hear news about each other through our family. I'm not even a hundred percent positive she is coming to the wedding. My parents give her excuse is she lives out in Colorado (and we're in NY). When we were little we got along great but as she got older, well...we stopped getting along. I've never met her husband, never met her kid, who's 3.
About six months ago I contacted her and asked her to be a bridesmaid, by email. I wrote "Even though we obviously haven't been the closest of sisters, I was wondering if you would do me the honor of being one of my bridesmaids." I gave her the option of not doing it if she didn't want to, that I hoped she'd come to the wedding if she didn't want to be a bridesmaid, that our parents would pay for the flight, the dress, etc.
She never responded, never even sent me an email back congratulating me on the engagement or anything.
All this to say...yes, I have a sister who is not a bridesmaid. :)
lol I can def relate with you ladies! I dont even really like my sisters too much, my older sister things are getting ok, but not really friends, but my younger sister has no respect for anyone or herself...but she will be there just so i dont have to hear my mother for the rest of my life!
I have 2 biological sisters, and I am best friends with my FSIL. I chose FSIL as MOH and one of my biological sisters informed me about a week later that because she wasn't my MOH she not only wouldn't be in my wedding, but wouldn't even be there. I had all these romantic ideas about buying her a present that was something that said "bridesmaid" on it and officially asking... hugs and jumping would ensue... talk about rain on my parade!!! She came around but we are still fighting :(
I couldn't wait to have all of my sisters up there with my, the ones I was born with and the one I found. I understand if you just aren't friends then that's it, you don't have to have them.
Are your bridesmaids all from your inner circle of current friends or best friends from high school or what?
My MOH is my best friend from college...she's my long lost sister! I was a bridesmaid in her wedding and now she has the cutest little girl! Her husband is being shipped to Iraq in a month...very sad. My bridesmaids are my future stepdaughters who I love so much.
I asked my sister to be my maid of honor after my previous wedding party dropped out and she said no because she didn't want to be my second choice. Also we don't really get along we text once in a while but we never call each other. She's my older sister and she's probably a bit jealous since I'm getting married before her. She has a boyfriend who knows they may even elope? You never know.
My wonderful MOH I've known since kindergarden.
Four of them I've known since high school.
The sixth is my brother's girlfriend of seven years.
I say my "wonderful MOH" b/c she is the only one with whom I can honestly "jump up and down for joy" whenever I feel like it, however much I feel like it, about the wedding. I think this is b/c she's a happy person in general but also b/c she too has a great husband who was always been committed to her, and also b/c she loved her wedding and the process of her wedding planning. I was her MOH and it was such a fabulous time, I was really involved with my MOH duties, and it turned out to be so successful.
Point being I never have to worry about being made to feel guilty for talking about the wedding a lot, being happy, etc. I could gush and gush and gush about it for hours with her and she won't get tired of it. I love the others, but unfortunately a few of them are divorced and had jerk husbands and are very bitter toward men and marriage. That's been hard to deal with. But they're cool people otherwise.
We're all getting together for the first time (minus one person) to look at bridesmaid dresses on Sunday. Hopefully that will go well.
wow, it is definitely nice to hear that i'm not the only one with a rocky relationship with an unstable sister! my sister and i go months without even speaking to each other. when we do speak it rarely ends well. the past few times we've spoken it's actually been nice. there are times lately when i think of asking her to be apart of our wedding, then i have to remind myself that the wedding is not until october and i doubt, no i KNOW, she can not be relied upon for that long of a time period. i think she knows better than to even ask if she's "in the wedding" or not. she's just a debbie downer when it comes to any situation that's not all about her. she "hates" my dress. when she saw my ring she rolled her eyes and asked "if it was even real?". at first i wasn't even sure that i wanted her at the wedding at all, for fear that she would cause some sort of scene...but i finally made peace with the fact that even if she does try and cause a scene or be catty, my friends, family, and fi's family all know how she is and the only person that will end up looking bad is her.
that would be me... i have two sisters...one is estraged and its pretty nuts and out there, the other im really close with. the one im close with and i discussed it and we both decided that putting her in the PB and not the crazy one would be putting her in an akward position, however, there is NO WAY im putting the crazy one in it. shes the type that will show up drunk, refuse to wear the dress, dye her hair pink, and dance on a table top, and then say shes going to kill herself because no one loves her. that being said, the good sister and i agreed that she would be my sister and my support but didnt need to wear a matching dress to know that shes imporatant to me. therefore, no sisters in the bridal party.
My only sister decided to drop out of being my MOH via email months after she was super excited to be one. Nothing happened, we didnt get into an argument, she just decided that it will just be 'in the way' of her future planning to have a family with her newly married husband. They just got married a few months back and I was her bridesmaid and helped plan her shower and bachelorette party, now im getting married and she cant even be here to support me. It broke us up completley and i havent talked to her since, and if she doesnt even come to my wedding, i will completley shut her out of my life for good!
I have three sisters and only one will be in my wedding (MOH). I love and get along great with the other two but it was more important to them that their kids were in our wedding so each sibling will have a 'representation' from their family :-)
My FI has three sisters and I only have two in it, since I barely know the other sister. It cause some family strife but if I had all my sisters and all his sisters we'd have a HUGE wedding party!!!
My sister won't be in the wedding either. She is 10 years older than me and we really aren't that close even though we do get along fine. She is throwing my shower and I think that's really as involved as she wants to get.
One of my sisters is my MOH and the other is doing a reading but is not a bridesmaid. My mom was super pissed that I left her out and it has been nothing but a headache since then...which is precisely why I didn't want her as a bridesmaid in the first place! She's a drama queen...
One of my sisters is a BM, and the other will be doing a reading. The sister doing the reading and I aren't that close (and I'm not super close to the BM), but we get along well and they've been very, very supportive and I think we're getting closer. I get a huge kick out of this, but one of the first things Mom said to me once we started planning was "Please....please for the sake of my sanity, include both of your sisters" haha.
Isnt it funny how moms always get into it on who should be our bridesmaids! My older sister went to Vegas to get married...now divorced...and I couldnt afford to go plus I was in college at the time...did she care nope! So do I care now to have her in mine...nope! Both my sisters are all about themselves and drama and I really wouldnt be able to count on them. Sorry mom! Too bad!
@Tammy Im really sorry to hear that she dropped out. It doesnt sound right because you were in hers. Maybe something else is going on? Good luck.
yup, i'm very familiar w. this. my mother is forcing me to make my 2 sisters bridesmaids along w/ my 2 friends. we never talk.....ever. we don' get along. my fiance and i wanted a small wdding party (2), but now i have to add 2 ppl that i don't even LIKE. greeeaaatt. AND she wants me to make my sister my MOH when my best friend was going to be.
d.marie your situation reminds me of a sex and the city quote. I don't know if you're a fan but it seems appropriate.
"The most important thing in life is your family. There are days you love them, and others you don't, but in the end they're the people you always come home to. Sometimes it's the family you're born into and sometimes it's the one you make for yourself."
My older sister is not in my wedding, either. We haven't spoken in years, except one liners on Facebook. We don't hold similar values or beliefs, which makes it really hard to have a civil conversation. I don't know when her kids birthdays are, even.
However, just 4 days ago, she emailed me and asked why we don't speak and if there was something she did to hurt me. In the spirit of our wedding and the new year, I chose to open up - and we've had a great dialogue about what's been going on since we were children. We have 2 brothers (one between us, and one older than both of us) that neither of us are close to, and we've been able to talk about some of our feelings about them, too.
I'm beginning to regret not asking her to be a bridesmaid - I was in her wedding although I barely spent any time with her or the other girls. Also, FI's sister is in our wedding but not standing for me; she's on Fi's side as a groomsmaid. FI thinks since my sister and I are just beginning to work through our issues, it's OK that she's not in the wedding. My mom already said that most likely, my sister won't be coming to our wedding because it will cost too much (oh right - she and her family live in Europe; another reason we're not close!).
It will be a wonderful time for us anyway! She will be there in spirit, if not body.
I have two sisters whom are 10+ years older than me and neither of them is in my wedding. Truth be told, we just aren't very close (sadly). I don't think they are upset about it.
I'm very close to my sisters, but I do have four of them. So instead of having a really large wedding party at an intimate 80 person wedding, I'm having my best friend of 20 years be my maid of honor. That's it, no others. Maybe because they do understand me, they have no ill feelings at all. I guess I'm lucky.
It's nice to know there are several of us going through this. I don't typically talk about the situation with my sister b/c I feel embarassed about it -- I think, who is this estranged from their sister? But it's nice to know I'm not alone. :)
I only have one sister and she is 10 years older than me. I am not having her in my bridal party because she has never supported my relationship with FI because of his race. What finally did it for me was we drove all the way to NC from DC during the snowstorm that rocked the east coast in Dec 2009, to tell her about our engagement in person and she didn't even acknowledge it or say congrats. She even tried to hook me up with someone that she thought was "right" for me mainly because this person is black. My FI is the just a good person all around and I couldn't let someone who don't know him treat him like that because he isn't black. I decided that I only want people who have supported our relationship to stand by me. For me my wedding party is not about numbers or fancy dress it about people who love and care about us and can be constructive in their critisism if need be.
@Mocha I can understand what you mean about support and people who love the both of you together. Im sorry that your sister doesnt understand. My fiance is older than me and a lot of people in the beginning gave us a lot of bull about it and didnt understand that age has nothing to do with love. Good luck to you...go April brides!
@Miss Belle I love Sex and the City and cant wait for the new movie! And its true sometimes they are the family you were born into and sometimes its the family you make. I love that! And my family is def the one Ive made! :) And its the best family ever!
@ Meg Im glad to hear that you and your sister are trying to talk again...sorry that she lives in Europe though.
my sister and i are 7 years apart... she's turning 17 this year. we're simply not that close. i love her and always will, but she's not someone i share my deepest darkest secrets with.
my MOH is my best friend since i was about 11. we're keeping our bridal party small but only having a MOH and a best man.
my mum wasn't very happy about not having my sister as a bridesmaid, but i stood firm... i think my sister will do a reading, coordinate the guestbook and possibly be the 'MC' at the reception. in other words, she'll have other little duties on the day, she just won't be a 'bridesmaid'.
I'm not even inviting one (of my two) sisters to my wedding. The other sister might do a reading, if she's not paralyzed by stage fright.
A lot of you are having your sisters do readings and others instead of being bridesmaids...but i think I wouldnt be able to even count on them for that. They would either forget, mess it up, wearing something too revealing or strange and i just wouldnt be happy!
We're not having any family in our wedding. I have a brother, his fiance (will be wife by the time we're married), and my FI's sister.
My mom thinks it is weird that none of these people will have any part in our wedding, but we're not close. Plus, my brother is getting married in August and I'm not in his wedding!
I got guilted into including my only sister even though we're not that close. Definitely regretting it. She's trying really hard to keep her crazy temper under wraps while we're spending more time together wedding planning. I see and appreciate that. But, I still really nervous that she's going to have some kind of fight or shouting match with someone on our wedding day. Ugh.
My sister won't be a bridesmaid in my wedding. Not because we don't get along or anything, she's just 15 years older than me and we've never been that close. She will be doing a reading though...I couldn't cut her out completely. Both of her little kids are in the wedding though!
i have a younger sister who wont be one of my BM's. reason why is she's 9. in all honesty it should be my own brother on this post. his wedding will be 4 months after mine and i wont be in their wedding. she insisted that her brothers be in it but i guess my brother didn't stand up for me. i was hurt about it but oh well. ill get over it. he's in my wedding but i guess i wasn't important enough to be in theirs.
I have a half sister (im adopted and only recently met my biological family) and she is 14, she wont be in the wedding party. I felt as tho I should include her but I dont get along with my biological mum (a wanderer, drug user and a liar) so I wont. But thats the only deciding factor. We are close tho, email each other most every day. If she was 18, I would definitely have her in the wedding party :)
I asked both my sisters. I couldn't decide between them who would be my MOH, so I asked a friend to be my MOH and both of them to be BM. Both accepted but then my younger sister asked me if she could be wedding help because she couldn't afford it. I thought that was very nice of her to be wedding help because I felt weird asking someone to be behind the scenes like that.
That same sister ended up getting upset with me after doing two favors and I ended up telling her I didn't need her help anymore. I was really mad at her. We ended up resolving things about a week before the wedding.
Sigh. It's so sad. Sisters are supposed to be our best friends, beginning from childhood.
Instead, the one I consider my sister IS my best friend from childhood!
Its true you def cant choose your family but you can make your own family! My bestfriend is def my soul sister...we always say we are the sister that GOD forgot to give to the other! Shes my MOH and I love her!
Even though my situation is not about my own sister, I'm so happy to read this post bc I'm not having my FSIL as my BM just bc we're not close. She really isn't all that close to my FI either. But we are having her son as our ringbearer and I'm going to ask her and her husband to bring up the gifts in the ceremony.
I feel for you girls who have strained relationships with your sisters. It must be pretty difficult, but when you have support and love from girlfriends, they become your sisters!
I've always been pretty close with my sisters. However, my relationship with my fiance put a strain our sibling relationships, I suppose. I asked them both to be bridesmaids due to pressure from my mom.I felt hesitant though because I thought they wouldn't want to do it or would be negative/unsupportive. They said yes, then they open up about how unsupportive they are!!
It's really important to me to have supportive people as my bridal party. FI and I both agree that it would feel uncomfortable and awkward to have unsupportive people standing up there with us at our very serious Catholic ceremony, in which marriage is taken very seriously..... It's weird, but my dad and I both knew that we should not have my sisters as BMs, yet my mom insisted.......this just caused complete drama, now I am back to square one: only going to have to closer highschool friends, my fiance's little sister as bridesmaids....fiance's cousin will be flowergirl....his two brothers and one friend will be best man and groomsman.
My sister said it looks bad if your sister isn't your bridesmaid. But actually, I would think it would reflect more poorly on *them* as I am not including them due to their lack of support. I feel so upset right now. Not sure what to do. But I just think I don't want them anymore.....my 2 friends were so happy/overjoyed to be BMs.....whiles sisters its just drama and issues....besides their negativity towards my relationship/future marriage.
I have two sisters, and neither of them will be in the wedding party, but not because we don't get along.
(1) My sisters HATE being bridesmaids
(2) My sister didn't have us as bridesmaids when she got married
(3) They will be doing readings instead
(4) One of my sisters simply cannot afford the expense. She will have to fly in from Hawaii, and that's cost enough.
I have one sister who I wish dearly that I could not have as a bridesmaid. She is confrontational and just emotionally draining to be around. I also wish that I could not have her horrible little child within 500 miles of my wedding. I am planning on asking her to only come to town the day before the wedding instead of the 2 weeks before like she wants to. Unfortunately since my parents are paying I am stuck wtih this God awful situation. I really really really would be thrilled if she would not speak to me again after the wedding.
Also this morning she called and told me how ungrateful I am because FI is getting me a new car and I want to go test drive it before the purchase is made. Apparently according to her I should just accept whatever he picks out and be happy with it. She heard about me spending the day test driving and car shopping through my parents because I sure as hell didn't call her.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| rachgirl82 | 39 |
| MissBoPeep | 36 |
| pengoala | 33 |
| Beckster329 | 21 |
| Future Army Wife | 20 |
| Sunfire | 19 |
| couawilou | 18 |
| MsBrooklynA | 16 |
| KatNYC2011 | 15 |
| beargoose | 15 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| 39bride | 5 |
| creativeplannertobee | 3 |
| MsVoyageur | 3 |
| liachar | 2 |
| julies1949 | 1 |
| Mrs.KMM | 1 |
| Hirondelle | 1 |
| HappilyEverAfter54 | 1 |
| beargoose | 1 |
| jpalm13 | 1 |
