Post # 1
So I would be okay with going without the whole shower thing. My mom is non-existant in my life, the fiance’s mom isn’t to into the whole wedding planning thing, two out of 4 of my bridesmaids live out of state, and one is the fiance’s sister who is NOT helping much. All of this plus a shower seems like it would only equal trouble. WELL, fiance’s aunt is very excited about throwing a shower. Fine right? Except she wants MY input on EVERYTHING. She wants me to help her find the site, the invited, the decorations, the food, the games, everything, etc . I have already given her the phone numbers of all of the bridesmaids, which she has called and told them we needed to get together with ME to get everything going. Then fiance’s mom called and offered to help. I told her his aunt is running it, but I’m sure she would be happy for the help. She said to call her keep her updated and let her know what I needed help with. My dad also offered his gf to help. My dad can be VERY demanding and pushy, so I told him if SHE wants to help have HER contact the aunt. HE called her offering to help. SHE called me saying she is not sure she trusts him to help (he is known for saying things and then not going through with them).
I was under the impression that the bride didn’t do any planning when it came to the shower. Why is this shower seeming like it is more stress than the wedding planning is so far.
Post # 3
As the bride, you should provide a guest list and maybe registry information, but that’s it really. If you have an opinion on what you’d like, that’s one thing. But if you really don’t care, then they shouldn’t be bugging you for all the details. Just tell them that you’ll be happy with whatever they do and that you’re sure they do a good job – hopefully they get the hint!
Post # 4
Ohhh – I sooo feel your pain. You are right – you shouldn’t have to do any planning or contacting or anything other than providing a guest list and perhaps giving ideas of things you might like to do for it (ie: what type of shower).
I think maybe your Aunt wants your input because she wants you to enjoy it. What if you just tell her a few guidelines, thank her for throwing it and tell her you can’t wait to see what she comes up with. If she pushes and pushes, tell her that you are so overwhelmed with wedding planning, you don’t have time to think about shower details and you’d be fine with anything she comes up with. You can also suggest “X” friend (if you have a super planner friend) to help with the details.
Post # 5
No, the bride does not plan her own shower (screams gift-grabby). In all honesty though, it doesn’t matter who throws you the shower. It sounds to me like the aunt just want your input in order to give you something you will like.
Your one job in the whole things is to provide your guest list. Let them hash the shower details out, but give your opinions when they ask.
Post # 6
FI’s aunt offered to host my shower with help from FMIL and that side of the fam (since they’re sisters), and FMIL started asking me a few things. I said straight off the bat that I’m extremely touched and appreciative for their offer to host and looking forward to the party BUT I have enough going on with the rehearsal dinner, wedding & day-after brunch I’m planning, so I have no opinion on what they do (which is absolutely true). Anything they decide I”m sure will be wonderdul, and I’m looking forward to being a guest=)
I gave them the wedding guest list and told them to invite whomever they want. that was the last I had to do with it. Just got the invitation last night!!