Post # 1
Ok so I have this dilema. Our wedding is in Sept of this year and we have a max of 250 ppl bc our families are so big. Knowing this the guest list for “friends” has been such a challenge for both of us.
I have had more people come up to me and ask if they are invited to the wedding. I try to kindly say well we are not sure yet bc our families are so big and we are very limited on the number of slots left for friends, when really I want to say ‘just for asking No you’re not.’
Is this completely rude of them or am I just over-reacting? Putting myself in a “potential-guests” shoes I would never even think to ask someone if I was invited to anything let alone a Wedding.
Post # 3
I think that’s rude!!!
I am pretty sarcastic and if someone asks me if they aren invited to my wedding, I’ll probably tell them that tha’ll find out if/when they get in an invitation in the mail. Luckily this hasn’t happened yet!
Post # 4
It is rude, but just remind yourself that getting offended doesn’t effect anyone but you…
I remember when we started the planning process I had 1 girl actually tell me “As long as I get my invite!…” and I thought “We’re not even friends…” lol.
I know that there are lots of people that asked about getting invited or the guestlist that I would never expect to be invited to their wedding b/c we’re not close, but whatever.. lol
Just brush it off and enjoy the process, don’t sweat the details, and just enjoy the getting to start your life with your new husband =)
Post # 5
Youre not over reacting, that is very very rude.
Post # 6
Depending on the person, it wouldn’t bother me if asked, but I would never imagine actually asking someone else that. Some people have a lot of nerve. I have one friend that keeps asking and I have no intention of inviting her. She is pregnant and expecting twins two weeks after my wedding (but the doc expects them to come early), so I’m not really concerned at all about it in the end. I just tell people no, but then I am not close to too many people.
Post # 7
I had so many people ask me this! I was shocked every time it happened. The worst were the people who didn’t ask, but then would say, “I can’t wait for your wedding” and you knew you weren’t inviting them. I would just casually mention that we were having a more intimate wedding, in hopes they would get the hint.
Post # 8
So far, this has only happened once. The issue that I have is that I can’t really say that I’m having a small wedding since we’ll probably be inviting 230+ since like you, I have a huge family.
Post # 9
Being the sarcastic person I am, I would probably reply, “Oh sure. And I can just drop in at your place for lots of free food and booze if I happen to be in the neighborhood, right? We’re pals, who needs an invitation?”
Post # 10
I think it’s rude. My FI has had a few people ask him if they are invited. People just don’t understand how expensive it is to add more people to a guest list. If it were free by all means. But, when you’re paying around $50 to $100 a person it sure adds up fast.
Post # 11
Honey it comes with the territory. I’ve had relatives I’ve not seen in years call and say “I can’t wait for your wedding!” My situation is further componded because I attend a large church where Iv’e been a member since birth.
Just smile and say “Due to budget reasons, our guest list has already been decided”. That is what I’m saying to those who come to me.
Receptions are $$$ and only those who you’ve had close positive relationships deserve to come.
Post # 12
I’m SO over this. What is up with people assuming they’re invited? I would NEVER and HAVE NEVER assumed I was invited to someone’s wedding, even when we are close FRIENDS just because you don’t know. I mean sheesh. And yet for my wedding, it’s like everyone thinks their invited. People are talking to their friends about how they can’t wait to go. That’s nice, but….last time I saw you, you tried to hit on my groom, and I haven’t seen you in 2 years. So no, you’re not invited. UGH!
Post # 13
I hate when people do that. =( I think you’ve been handling it pretty well though. =) Usually I just give this shocked blank stare….just from the shock of someone asking me that I barely even know!
Post # 14
@The Average Bride: LOL I love the shocked blank stare. Usually mine is accompanied with my mouth hanging open and and a delay of about ten minutes…then “Seriously?”
Post # 15
I’ve been spreading it far and wide that the only people we’re inviting to our wedding 2012 are family members, even to the friends I do actually intend to invite. I’ve let a couple of my friends in on the fact that they will be getting an invitation, and politely ask them not to say anything to, for example, the other people we work with so that no one feels left out. If you don’t want to ask someone simply because they asked you first, just tell them that unfortunately, your families have filled up the guest list and there isn’t any room for friends. Later, if they ask why so and so got invited and they didn’t, you can tell them that a family member RSVP’d no at the last minute and that particular friend was available.
Post # 16
I just don’t understand why people don’t know that inviting themselves is rude!! An example is a couple at our church are getting married, I hear other people dropping hints to them all the time, asking if they’ll be invited… we’re in the same social group as them at church and invite them to events at our house yet even so we are not expecting an invite and it would be a lovely surprise to get one.
People must forget that their relationships with you are only one small part of a bigger picture that is your life – that you have other friends, other family, other important people to yu and only a limited amount of invites that you get.