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If your mother feels strongly that her friends should be there, would she want to throw a second bridal shower for you? I agree with you- if there's twelve guests, it should be the 12 closest or most involved people.
I think you were totally in the right. Twelve people isn't much and you probably have 12 close females in your life without your FMIL's friends. I think it was appropriate that you asked your mother...but if FMIL wanted all her friends to go then I think she should throw one for you herself.
i dont think she have any saying on who you invite for YOUR bridal shower. im with rebejane: if she wants she can throw you a second shower.
keep you plans and tell her that your sorry but is only twelve people and you already choose.
Its also worth mentioning that I did think of my FMIL in this - in addition to invited her, I asked her mom (my future grandmother in law), her best friend, and there are a couple of other women invited that she knows (and she also knows me, my sister, and my mom who will be in attendance.) So its not as though she won't know anybody there...
Its also worth mentioning that I did think of my FMIL in this - in addition to invited her, I asked her mom (my future grandmother in law), her best friend, and there are a couple of other women invited that she knows (and she also knows me, my sister, and my mom who will be in attendance.) So its not as though she won't know anybody there...
It sounds like your FMIL wants to throw you a shower herself, so she can invite who she wants to invite. There's no reason you should have included her when planning the guest list for a very limited shower like this. If it were your friends or family planning the shower and you could accommodate more people, then it would be appropriate to ask FMIL if had any additions to the guest list. I would tell FMIL you wish those people could be invited, but that it really isn't up to you since your friend who is so generous as to throw you a shower can only accommodate 12 people.
My shower invitation list includes every woman who is invited to the wedding and lives within a two-hour drive of the shower venue. Still less than a dozen, in my case: it's my closest friends, my mom and FMIL and FSIL and sister, and a couple of FMIL's friends/coworkers.
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A woman from my church growing up (my confirmation sponsor) offered to throw me a shower the Sunday before the wedding. She said she could accommodate 12 people, and I put together a guest list of the 12 closest women in my life who are local to my hometown.
My FMIL just got the invite, and was upset that she didn't get to give input into the guest list. She has asked that I include some of her close woman friends (some of whom I know, some who I don't), as well as my FBIL's girlfriend (who I have only met once, and who only recently decided to come out with BIL a full week before the wedding.)
Was I wrong to not consult FMIL about who to invite? I guess I thought that the bridal shower was a party for me, and that I should invite women that I know and who know me. Especially with the limited guest list, I thought it was appropriate to use my discretion on who to invite. (I did consult my mom, because much of the guest list is comprised of middle-aged women who are close family friends, and it was hard to keep it limited to 12.)