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Who is least supportive of your marriage?

posted 2 years ago in Beehive
  • 2 Members Subscribed To Topic
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    1.
    3,234 posts
    Sugar bee
    Kittyachi    August 2010   New York

    I'll start.

    Reading a lot of the posts on here has made me so grateful to have a supportive family (and future in-laws) and friends - for the most part. But everyone has someone who just can't get on board, right?

    I have one friend who read me the riot act for getting engaged without a prenup (please note that FI and I have no assets to speak of) and basically told me that I was stupid and naive for wanting to marry my FI and that I was basically blissfully ignorant of reality because I was in love and not thinking straight. Then she was like you know if you call off the wedding we will all support you. Um, ok. Thanks a lot. Why don't you STFU and focus on your own failed relationships and your parents' disastrous marriages and let me enjoy my "blissful ignorance." Idiot.

     
    2.
    14,581 posts
    Honey
    Beekeeper
    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    Wow that sucks! Sometimes my parents are, er, "realists" about my marriage. I almost can't blame them, with the divorce rate being as high as it is and the fact that they've only met DH like, 5 times. I guess they are still skeptical of him. Most recently, Dad wants to gift me a safe for a Christmas gift. Yes, a safe, to have installed in the house. For protection of paperwork and who knows what. And he was very specific in stating that it is MINE, for me to protect MY assets, although the husband can "use" it, it's MINE. It rubbed me the wrong way. You can't give your child a gift, to have installed in a house they share with their spouse, and then be all, "it's not really for him" about it.

    I feel like we'll have to get 10+ years of marriage under our belt and a handful of kids for them to accept that i'm actually married now, lol. My parents are weird about stuff like this though.

     
    3.
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    Busy
    Beekeeper
    moderndaisy    June 2010  

    I'm either blissfully ignorant or lucky that no one is against us getting married. We do have people who don't care at all and act like it's not a big deal we're getting married which bothers us a little. Sometimes I feel like my one single friend is against me getting married, but she would never say it to me. Nor does she have any real ligitimate reason.

     
    4.
    Member
    2,001 posts
    Buzzing bee
    arizonabride    June 2, 2010   Tucson, AZ

    Thre's a friend I was close to for the better part of the last 10 years. We went through a period of about 1.5 yrs that we didn't talk much. She had been through a divorce and went back to school and work. We just started getting close again and we were hanging out once a week or so and talking every 2-3 days on the phone for 4-5 months and as soon as FI and I picked a date and I started talking about the wedding, she stopped returning calls and emails. SHe offered to go dress shopping with me and then said she had other plans. I decided that I would just leave the ball in her court and let her call me when she was ready. I haven't heard from her at all since June.

     
    5.
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    Bumble bee
    otb    December 31, 2009   Chicago, IL

    I have a friend that I would have asked to be in my wedding if she didn't live in Florida and wasn't in her second year of law school who didn't support us at first.  I know the reason is she was kinda bitter about the whole relationship thing, she has had a string of bad relationships, so it's understandable.  In a drunk moment she actually said "I'm so glad I'm not like all my other girl friends and 'settling' in my early 20's just so I can get married."  I was pretty upset when she said it, but knew where she was coming from, and that it was a drunk moment.  Now she is fully supportive and can't wait to come to the wedding, but it was def hard on her at first.

     
    6.
    Member
    1,864 posts
    Buzzing bee
    mary-alice-me    May 24, 2009   Kentucky

    Almost everyone is supportive and saw our marriage coming. Only my SIL, my husband's sister, has been a little peeved. She manages to get digs in at me whenever she can. Ick. But not too bad overall. I think she's upset about a recent breakup, and I certainly understand that even if her happiness in her own relationship has nothing to do with us.

     
    7.
    3,234 posts
    Sugar bee
    Kittyachi    August 2010   New York

    OMG I can't believe I forgot about FI's best man! I must have blocked it out. Long story short, he's an immature douche who thinks that I "stole" FI away from him. Ummmmm they are in their early thirties - get a f**king life, dude.

     
    8.
    Member
    3,340 posts
    Sugar bee
    Melissabegins    December 12, 2009  

    one sided total bromance - ouch. 

    Everyone's pretty supportive, though some people are more or less interested than others.  Very lucky!

     
    9.
    Member
    468 posts
    Helper bee
    91011Bride    September 10, 2011   Destination wedding

    Please educate her on the prenup.  LOL!!!  Funny she told you to get one even though you and your fiance have no assets  What's the point?  You ended your post right on point.  "Idiot."  Some people can't be happy if it isn't all about them.  Maybe she is jealous and would give anything to be in your shoes (I bet she doesn't sign a prenup).  LOL!!!  Good luck with that friend. 

     
    10.
    3,234 posts
    Sugar bee
    Kittyachi    August 2010   New York

    @91011Bride - she is a notorious man-hater due to the fact that her parents marriage and divorce were really nasty and she was in a worthless relationship for 8 years so she's just super jaded and bitter. And she's a lawyer, so child of divorce + lawyer = prenup freakout.

     
    11.
    Member
    34 posts
    Newbee
    sweetcake      

    A college 'friend' always felt I stole FI from her. FI knew she was stalkerish/crazy before I did, and he never liked her, but since she always had a massive crush on him (while in a relationship, may I add), she felt I went out with him because I was mad at her or some other petty line of bs. I thought we all graduated junior high melodramas... apparently not. Suffice it to say, she (clearly not invited to the wedding) victimizes herself to all of our mutual friends about this engagement. Sooo, she's not too happy. Girl is nuts and everyone knows it, so whatevs.

     
    12.
    Member
    2,595 posts
    Sugar bee
    teaadntoast    04/23/2010   New York, NY

    My brother.

    "Dubious" and "scornful" are probably the best adjectives to describe his attitude.

     
    13.
    Bee
    8,645 posts
    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    cardigan    January 7, 2011   Austin, TX

    Um I'd have to say my mom. Well, she's plenty supportive of the MARRIAGE, it's the WEDDING that she's not supportive of - she acts like she couldn't care less about it, but then when someone else gets married I have to sit through 30 minutes of her talking about how amazing their wedding was...it's rather irritating.

     
    14.
    Member
    909 posts
    Busy bee
    bamm    June 5th 2010/August 15th 2010   Seoul

    Initially his parents and a few of his friends.  They thought he should marry 'his own kind.'  Mostly, I think they had never met anyone who wasn't Korean, so they didn't really realize that people are people.  Thankfully everyone has come around.  It only took 4 years.^^

     
    15.
    Hostess
    1,345 posts
    Bumble bee
    whitesonnet    June 26, 2010   Detroit, MI

    Thankfully, no one really. But I did have a conversation with my grandmother about how I wasn't going to ask for a pre-nup. She seems to think I am made of gold. My VISA bill says otherwise.

     

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