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Wisconsin Brides--Where are you having your weddings?

Who is paying for your wedding...

posted 2 years ago in Money
  • 1 Members Subscribed To Topic
  • poll: whos forking out the dough?
    Dear Old Dad and Mom : (68 votes)
    24 %
    Me and the FI : (111 votes)
    40 %
    daddy and mummy and us! : (98 votes)
    35 %
    another party : (3 votes)
    1 %
  •  
    1.
    Member
    767 posts
    Busy bee
    hisbunny    March 13, 2010   ND

    ...and how did you get the budget?

     
    2.
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    4,160 posts
    Honey bee
    krissycake    November 21, 2009   orlando,fl

    FI and I are!  He makes more than I, so it's mostly him...and my DIY =D

     
    3.
    Admin
    3,499 posts
    Sugar bee
    penguin    June 7, 2008   Berkeley, Ca

    We paid 1/3 and my parents paid for the rest of the actual wedding. Mr. Peng's parents paid for the RD (which half the wedding was invited to, so it was like another whole reception). Paying for part of the wedding definitely gave us a little freedom when it came to decisions. It worked out well!

     
    4.
    Member
    695 posts
    Busy bee
    catlady    June 26, 2010   Toronto

    From the very beginning FI and I were told we would have to pick up all the bills for the wedding.  Funny though because when my parents saw me in the dress, they offered to pay for half.  In the end, I had to refuse because it didn't feel right.

     
    5.
    Bee
    5,844 posts
    Bee Keeper
    mouse    September 11, 2009   Austin, TX

    Originally we were going to pay for it all, but circumstances changed after my dad passed away, and my mom was able to pay for a huge chunk of the wedding.  I still have guilt about this because I know that money wouldn't have been there if my dad had still been alive. 

     
    6.
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    1,268 posts
    Bumble bee
    Chachacha    June 2010   Minneapolis, MN

    My parents are paying for a lot of it, with his parents paying for different portions (photography, invites and RD so far) and we are also forking over some money for things, as well.

     
    7.
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    Bee
    2,870 posts
    Sugar bee
    cola    June 12, 2010   Married in Woodside, CA, Now Living in Raleigh, NC

    His parents, my parents and we are all contributing. We basically added up all the major expenses to come up with our budget, his parents are giving us $7k towards whatever, and my parents are paying for some stuff along the way, as are we. So far my parents have contributed about $5100, but our big expenses like the catering won't hit us for a while still.

     
    8.
    Bee
    6,177 posts
    Bee Keeper
    elephant    April 2011  

    We paying for half and my parents are paying for the other half.  I do feel like we have more say in what we pick for vendors and things since we're paying for half, but my parents are awesome and have loved all the ideas that we have thrown at them so far.

     
    9.
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    5,018 posts
    Bee Keeper
    RecessionistaBride    January 28, 2012  

    My FI and I are paying for everything but the flowers. My mom's got that covered...
    It's just easier if we pay for it ourselves. No strings & we get what we want!

    @mouse: Awww... ((hugs))

     
    10.
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    Bee
    7,343 posts
    Bee Keeper
    scissors    June 19, 2010   Atlanta, Ga

    My parents are paying for it all.

     
    11.
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    1,187 posts
    Bumble bee
    Champagne Wishes    May 22, 2010   Upstate New York

    We are paying for our wedding.  And like Krissycake... he makes more than I do so he is paying for more and I am the budget hunter/DIY master!

     
    12.
    Member
    2,633 posts
    Sugar bee
    Jenniphyr    February 2, 2013   Alberta, Canada

    My fiance and I are paying for it entirely ourselves. Originally we set a $10K budget, but we've dropped it to $5K since then once we started looking at costs. Technically my parents are willing to help (heck, my dad is practically chomping at the bit, but he wants us to get married in a church and have our reception at a golf course, so...no) and his parents have grudgingly waffled back and forth, but we're being pretty stubborn so far about doing it ourselves.

     
    13.
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    2,633 posts
    Sugar bee
    Jenniphyr    February 2, 2013   Alberta, Canada

    As for where we're getting the dough...we're having a long engagement, and putting money into savings. By the time our wedding date rolls around, I expect to have about $10K available and my fiance will have an unknown amount (so far he doesn't have a part-time job, but he has a few thousand in savings, and his parents are paying for his education). We're also hoping to be able to buy a house or rent a condo by that time, though, and we'll need a car, which is why we're making the budget so low.

     
    14.
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    Bee
    769 posts
    Busy bee
    plaid    October 23, 2010  

    My dad's paying for the majority with a little help from my mom and his dad. And we're pitching in for the honeymoon, rings and anything else we might need.

     
    15.
    Member
    904 posts
    Busy bee
    jocelyn3476       New Jersey

    My parents paid for pretty much everything.  Except the invitations that we ordered came out like crap, so my fiance and I splurged on new ones.

    His parents did a small rehearsal dinner and gave us a sizable check earmarked for the honeymoon.

     
    16.
    Member
    870 posts
    Busy bee
    maisymay    December 19, 2009   morgan hill, ca

    His family gave us some money, my mom a little. It's mostly us though. His parents are taking care of the rehearsal. We're doing a wedding for 40 for about $3500 (not counting clothes).

     
    17.
    Bee
    1,308 posts
    Bumble bee
    bunny    July 2009   Columbus, OH

    My mom told me she and my dad would give us $5,000, and if I wanted to spend more, I was on my own. I think I probably spent about $1,000 of my own cash on various DIY projects and other things I wanted.

     
    18.
    Hostess
    2,638 posts
    Sugar bee
    Blueshoes2    June 2010   PA

    My parents are paying for 1/3, FI's dad is paying for rehearsal dinner, while FI and I pay for the rest.  We are very grateful for the help we are getting!

     
    19.
    Bee
    8,645 posts
    Bee Keeper
    cardigan    January 7, 2011   Austin, TX

    Mostly my parents, but FI and I are taking care of as much as we possibly can. As of now, we're paying for photography (which is a pretty big chunk of things!) and I'm hoping we will be able to pay for alcohol and the invitations as well. It will really just depend on what we are able to save between now and then.

     
    20.
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    Member
    3 posts
    Wannabee
    mrsnelson2010    06/2010   tampa fl

    my parents, his, and us really...we could do it ourselves but it would take longer to save lol and my parents are happy to help being that i am the baby girl(older sis married 10 yrs ago)

     
    21.
    Member
    47 posts
    Newbee
    CarrieAnne    March 13, 2010   Wine Country

    My parents decided on a lump sum for us to use for the wedding and have been totally hands off.  FI & I then figured out what we were comfortable spending from our own pockets and, bingo, budget.

     
    22.
    Member
    2,678 posts
    Sugar bee
    luli29    October 9, 2010   Massachusetts

    were paying for it all..I don't know how, but we will have to :(

     
    23.
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    1,644 posts
    Bumble bee
    Mermaid1082    September 4, 2010   St Louis, MO

    My parents are paying for 90% iof it and his mom is chipping in some as well.  My parents said, "You get $X for the wedding, use it how you like, anything leftover is yours."  And we went from there. 

    FI and I are paying for somethings, like part of the photog, since we went over budget.  And attendant gifts, stuff like that.

     
    24.
    Member
    1,029 posts
    Bumble bee
    mountain.bride    December 12, 2009   Australia

    We were pretty sure our families would help out but did the original budget assuming it would just be us. Funny enough that $ didn't change much when we found out what the parents were planning on gifting us - we just knew we'd be able to have more fun during the year and not just be saving all the time :) My parents gave us a cheque a couple of months after being engaged, which was great - it got used for deposits etc. and there were no strings attached at all. FMIL told us around the same time she would give us $5k, we did the whole "oh that's very generous of you, you don't have to do that, etc" and she said "well I won't if you don't want me to." Since then she's mentioned it twice - once when she said "I've got $3k so tell me when you want it" and when I handed her some registry cards to give HER FAMILY IF THEY ASKED she said "I wasn't going to give you a present, just the money." We will never feel ok asking for that money so I don't know if or when we will actually see it!

    FH and I arranged our contribution a little differently - 1/3 from his savings, 1/3 from mine, and 1/3 from our joint savings. I was very lucky to get a great tax return which paid for my share and then some. I am paying a little bit more bc there are things I want that aren't necessary and FH wasn't keen to pay for them!

     
    25.
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    7,946 posts
    Bee Keeper
    Lillindy    September 2008   Bay Area, CA

    100% of our wedding was paid by us!

     
    26.
    14,581 posts
    Bee Keeper
    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    We paid for the wedding, mom and dad paid for the honeymoon (their gift to us b/c they didn't believe in paying for our traditional wedding--they wanted us to get married in jamaica and we said no) and MIL covered RD. But yeah, $18,500 was all us. It's what we could afford and seemed like a realistic cost based on what we felt was important. Our venue was 12K of taht cost so I was a DIY maniac to offset the rest of it. DH was deployed at that time so we were able to save it quickly. Otherwise we woulda scaled back drastically.

     
    27.
    Member
    434 posts
    Helper bee
    luckyyou    March 20, 2010   Philadelphia, PA

    It's a combo between my parents, my future in-laws, and us.

    We are paying for invites, STDs, programs, menus, etc - basically all printed items since I am a graphic designer and making and assembling them all myself. We are also contributing to the reception, bar, and bought the flower girl dress. OHHH and I bought my FIERCE shoes. :)

    My future in-laws are paying for flowers and the bar, plus the rehearsal dinner/party. My FMIL is also making the favors (a long-time family cookie recipe that's SOOOOO good!)

    My parents are covering the rest - the church (minimal donation), the bulk cost of the reception clubhouse, my dress..... They may be buying my jewelry if I decide to not wear family jewelry.

     
    28.
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    1,014 posts
    Bumble bee
    grace8367    September 6, 2009   Chicago

    Our "split" ended up the same as Pengy's.  We paid a 1/3 and my parents paid the rest.  His parents paid for the rehearsal dinner and since we had a destination wedding and everyone was invited, this was a bigger expense than usual.  My parents also paid for lodging for the wedding party which was also a big expense. 

     
    29.
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    9,017 posts
    Bee Keeper
    daydreamwanderer       DC

    my folks are footing it. I told them we were talking about marriage and said, "traditionally, the brides' parents pay for the wedding. have you guys thought at all about whether you'd be able to give us any money or not?" and then gave them several days to think about it. Next time we talked, they gave me a number, said they'd asked around to their friends whose daughters recently got married, and were confident that in our area we could have a wonderful wedding for the amount they were giving us. Which is technically true, but we're definitely going to have to make some tough choices and be really careful with what they've given us. No Chiavari chairs for me :'( hehe

    I suppose it's only fair to say that J and I discussed the possibility of asking his parents for more money (he's an only child, and thought they would help if we asked) but I think we're hoping they'll help with the honeymoon, or maybe our first home when we get there someday, and decided we'd rather have a smaller wedding than go crazy, especially considering the economy right now. There's just too many reasons to save rather than spend, especially if this one day is already going to cost 'us' 10K.

     
    30.
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    3,054 posts
    Sugar bee
    naangel55    June 20, 2009   Long Beach, CA

    My parents paid for the wedding. I just asked them what my budget was on e we had the guest count figured out and they gave me a number and asked if that was ok. Of course it was :) DH's parents generously paid for the bar at the reception, the rehearsal dinner and the day after brunch.

     
    31.
    Member
    1,544 posts
    Bumble bee
    cheerful    September 2009 - eloped  

    Us - ultimate control, no fuss, no muss!

     
    32.
    Member
    246 posts
    Helper bee
    ScarletJwl    September 24, 2011   Northern Virginia/Vermont

    My parents have made it clear that they will not pay for any  wedding "nonsense."  I can't really blame them since I am the oldest of five children - that could get really expensive!  Although I do object to the "nonsense" comment...  It is also probably better that they are not paying since then I don't have to concede to any rediculous requests they come up with and can have the wedding I want!!

    We have not talked to his parents about it yet, but we aren't expecting anything.

    I have started a wedding fund, but with me as a full time student it is tough to save money right now.  I am looking forward to a lot of DIY projects!!

     
    33.
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    355 posts
    Helper bee
    ebs1123    July 9, 2010   Omaha NE

    My parents are paying for it all except for the rehearsal dinner, which his mom is covering. One of the advantages of being the only daughter, I suppose. 

     
    34.
    Member
    2,515 posts
    Sugar bee
    Tulip61110    June 11, 2010   Philadelphia

    The majority of the cost will be paid by my FI and I.  My parents are giving us some money towards the cost though.

     
    35.
    364 posts
    Helper bee
    CupcakeSprinkles    October 16, 2010   Dallas, Texas

    My parents gave us 5K and told us to do what we want with it (wedding wise -- I think they'd be pissed if we blew it on a TV or something) and we're paying for the rest ourselves.   

    We'd originally set a budget of 20K, but I'm doing my very best to get that number closer to 10-12K, especially considering student loans, I'll need a new car in a year or so, etc.  I don't think we're having a rehearsal dinner, so I'm really hoping the FILs will give us $$ or pay some (or all!) of our honeymoon.  We're saving money by only having beer and wine, having a "friend-jay," hiring an (awesome!) student photographer, and having an Etsy-vendor relative make our invitations.  I also bought my dress used.  Ahhh, recession!   

     
    36.
    Member
    917 posts
    Busy bee
    DaisyBride    June 1, 2009  

    We paid about 1/3, my parents paid about 2/3 of the wedding.  His parents paid for the rehearsal dinner and day after brunch (I don't count these as the "wedding")

    We sat down with my parents and decided who would pay for what.  Then we each budgeted by ourselves for the things we had decided to pay for.

     
    37.
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    Member
    555 posts
    Busy bee
    farfromordinarybride    December 31, 2010   PA

    FI and I were prepared to pay for it ourselves and my mother graciously offered to cover the reception cost and daddy is going to cover the honeymoon. Didn't think they would play into the old school "the bride's family pays for the wedding" but happy they did!

     
    38.
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    2,842 posts
    Sugar bee
    jingle96    May 28, 2010   DW in ARUBA/livin' in VA

    Ok, now I don't feel bad!  The fi and I are paying for everything ourselves, it felt like eveyone else had help.  I feel better now that I'm in the majority group!

     
    39.
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    1,975 posts
    Buzzing bee
    redherring    September 11, 2010   Pittsburgh, PA

    My parents are deceased and his are in financial straits, so the entire cost, from rehearsal to day-after brunch, will be paid by us.

     
    40.
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    1,258 posts
    Bumble bee
    MrsK2be    November 15, 2008   Ohio

    My parents paid for most of the wedding.  We paid for the extra odds and ends.  His parents paid for the Rehearsal Dinner and gave us some money for our Honeymoon.  We were very blessed.

    My parents gave us all the money right after we got engaged and started planning.  They wanted us to know exactly what we had to work with and be able to set our budget accordingly.  Because we were engaged for 23 months(!!!) we actually put the money in a C.D. and earned tons of money on it.  In fact, the money we earned on it paid entirely for my flowers! 

    Setting the budget just takes time and willingness to interview different vendors to get an idea of the cost of each component for your wedding. You'll be able to make decisions about where to put the money after you have all the information.

     

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