Sometimes, I am quite surprised that certain people get married. It makes no sense to me. I look at them and understand why the divorce rate is 50%.
For instance, I attended a wedding in July, and the marriage is doomed. Here’s why:
- They fight badly, often. They scream, insult eachother, and she throws things at him. He says he “can’t stand her” or her family.
- They have broken up at least once a year, and sometimes more, during their 9 year relationship.
- He has cheated several times, goes to strip clubs against her wishes, and my SO and I suspect he pays women for sex. One of the times he cheated, he was sober, and had sex with a girl in the bathroom at a party. His now wife was at the party.
- He does drugs behind her back.
- She was hanging out with a guy right before the wedding who she knows wants to sleep with her. Her sister had to separate them one night bc she was worried they would cheat on their spouses.
- As soon as the ceremony was over, the groom said, “She is a bitch. Ugh, I can’t stand her”.
That’s just the stuff I know about. Who knows what other problems they’ve had. He is 30, and she is 23. They have been together since he was 21, and she was 15.
After the ceremony, her sister sighed and said, “Damn. My sister is gonna be divorced before she’s 30…”
My really good friend has been married 2 years since May….before they got married (they were together for like 7 years from highschool) she would always call me crying sayin he yelled at her that she didn’t go to the gym, but when she would try to go to the gym, he would be psycho and say to not go because there are guys there.
Fast forward to her bach party (we were not friends at this time) her own maid of honor told her she should not marry him and she was making a big mistake.
Well she married him, and till this day she regrets it, she has a child with him from before they married, and she’s miserable and cheats on him and talks to other guys because he is not the man she wanted!
Mind you, he cheated on her while she was pregnant, also again when they got engaged……but he is possessive.
She’s 98% ready to finally legally seperate….she no longer has anything intimate with him, though they live together….she has asked him to leave, but he won’t. and he knows he doesn’t have to by NY law.
He is apparently looking for a place…
Oh and one time she tried to leave, and he stormed out, and showed her a bullet and said, see this kristen…i’m putting your name on it and i will kill myself.
My first marriage was doomed before it started. Hindsight and all that…
@bunnyharriet: IDK why anyone would let this wedding take place. I am dumbfounded.
For me, it would be my parents (LOL) who lasted 17 years, but the reasons my mom divorced my dad were issues since before they got married- that he was not affectionate, didn’t make her feel special, they didn’t have compatible views on money, and that my dad’s mom didn’t like her.
I can think of one new-ish marriage in our circle that will not go the distance. he cheated on her repeatedly while they were dating and engaged. It’s only a matter of time before he walks out on her and the kids.
A friend of mine is like this, although she hasn’t gotten married yet. She’s kind of a serial fiance… she was engaged to her first guy 3 times and set one date, but it fell through. Now her current bf and her have been engaged 3 times again! Have set 2 dates, and was less than a month away from her last wedding when they canceled it. They have broken up numerous times, she’s said it’s over, etc. but they always get back together. The wedding was cancelled because they got in a screaming/throwing fight the night after their bachelor/bachelorette parties!! His brothers refused to be in the wedding and called his parents and told them to cancel their trip back for the wedding. She re-set a date for May but that has been called off too, so it’s all up in the air. I feel bad for her going through all of this, but when is enough enough??!! *she does have a child with first fiance, and 2nd fiance* I don’t think she should should actually ever go through with it with this guy (not that he’s a bad guy, they’re just obviously not meant for each other!) I also don’t think she really WANTS to get married but is going through the motions. The cake topper for her shower was of the bride running away/groom stepping on the dress, and it fits her perfectly!
I have been to one wedding… they split up two weeks later. Another is a current couple, she got pregnant so they got married, they have since had a second child but all they do is fight and I know he cheats… it is doomed I am sure of it. Unfortunatly she is young and basically has to depend on him for money, so I think that is why she stays.
I didn’t vote because there is no option for “Yes and they are getting divorced”
My best friend and her boyfriend had been dating for about three years when she got pregnant. He had been pretty adamant about the fact that he never wanted kids, but they had apparently never really dicussed this with each other. My friend was so excited that he decided to try it out and stick around. They got married when their son was about 5 months old and it went downhill from there. Best friend’s husband came to realize that he didn’t want children and did not enjoy being a parent, he didn’t enjoy the fact that his wife wasn’t his wife anymore but just the mother of his son and she never wanted to spend time with him. They stopped having sex because she wanted the baby to sleep in the bed with them, they fought about the way they should parent (he got mad at her because she didn’t believe in discipline of any kind and he did) and it just got worse and worse. They split up several times over the course of their two year marriage, they did nothing but fight with each other, they would usually go weeks without talking to each other, there was no communication…They got married for their son, but it never should have happened. They were two different people. She was ready to settle down and be a parent, he’d been married and divorced once before and just wanted a girlfriend and one day a wife, but not for a long time and definitely no children.
She filed for divorce four months ago.
My ex-boyfriend who is now married with 2 kids has the “grass is greener” syndrome. i.e. he broke up with her several times; kept tabs on his exes (incl. me); and, tried cheating on her several times. He only married his wife because they’ve been together since h.s. They might survive but I don’t think they’ll be happy.
I’ve known a few in the past, but they’re already divorced by now.
My DH’s parents should never have married each other. They hated each other before the wedding and hate each other to this day, but remain married (I can only assume they remain married so they can continue to torture one another). They sleep in different rooms, curse at each other, threaten each other’s lives….it is HORRIBLE. I am so uncomfortable with how they relate to one another that if they start arguing I now get up and leave the room. DH and I told them we can no longer spend nights at their house during visits because we refuse to be part of it, and if they can’t control themselves by the time we have kids, they won’t be seeing them.
My first college roommate. She married her HS boyfriend within a week of graduating college…they are both nice people, they are both GOOD people. But it was clear to everyone but them that they were not right for each other. They broke up several time over 6 years. They had different ideas about her career. They had different ideas on parenting/child care. They had different levels of “traditionalism.” I don’t think they shared any interests really aside from they both were really involved in a youth group they met through. They were divorced within a year. I really believe both of them can go on to have fantastic marriages with other people (indeed, her new boyfriend is fantastic, she just had to move across an ocean to get over Mr. Wrong).
Oh, and my SIL. She’s not yet engaged but I’m sure they will get married. And maaaaybe they’ll stay married. And they will keep on being miserable.
My FI’s friends all tried to talk him out of marrying his ex-wife, but he did it anyway. It didn’t work out. They stayed married for nine years and had a kid together first though.
Two of my friends (two couples) who I thought their marriage was a mistake (along with other friends) ended in divorce after 3-4 years of misery together a long time ago. DH has a friend who just got married a year ago and everyone was talking about how long that one will last. We’ll see!
How about a celebrity? BRITNEY SPEARS!
And no, I don’t know anyone personally.