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We usually take 5 and then one of us will say something like "do you still hate me" and it's usually better. Our arguments don't last long.
No matter whether Im right or wrong... i always do.
Im too nice....
My hubby is a way better person than me, so whether he is right or wrong he always tries to...gosh I love that man!
I would say he does. We hardly fight, but when we do I say why I'm irritated, then we won't talk for awhile, and finally he will talk to me about what is wrong. Not a good system, but we are working on it. I need to be more vocal-but I hate confrontation.
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Mr. Star is by far the calmer and more rational of the two of us. Usually he makes the peace!
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What? Mr. Y and I never argue. When we have "misunderstandings" he usually sees the light and realizes that I was right all along. I kid, I kid! We usually share the patching up duties.
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Ugh, I feel like I am queen of the olive branch. I am learning though that his signals that he has heard me and understands and will try harder in the future are not the same as mine. I go for the verbal signal, and he goes for the action. Sometimes I think he doesn't like to say "I'm sorry" because he doesn't like to apologize for himself. However, I can usually see a change in his behavior...IF I watch for it. So I have to watch for it, and then I feel better.
When we first got into our relantionship it was me. Always me. Then one day I had had enough of always given in and from then on we both try to be equal in it and fix the problem that we both seem to be causing when we have a disagreement.
Well I hate to say it but any argument usually leads to me crying -- I seriously cannot stop the tears from flowing, I dont do well with confrontation and a lot of the times I have to say "pretend I'm not crying. I don't mean to be crying!" ... but as soon as he sees tears he just stops and apologizes even if he's not at fault. Usually after a few minutes when I've got myself to stop crying, we both realize that whatever it was we were disucssing wasn't worth the tears and we come to a conclusion together. There have really been very few arguments that haven't ended up in a positive way - realizing something about each other and coming to a joint conclusion about it. I feel really blessed for that.
It's not 100% of the time...but more often than not it's my FI. He has an incredible capacity for this...which was one of the tip offs for me that he's a keeper :) I was never really taught how to reach out and show someone that you love them when you're upset. Or as he often says, "Make friends again." It's a wonderful thing that I have to continue to learn from him.
Well, I chose other. We rarely get angry with one another because we are both such communicators that we talk through every little thing before it becomes big. He is probably the one who initiates this more, simply because he can not stand for there to be dischord. Neither can I, but I tend to be the one to mull it over for a while on my own before I bring it up.
usually my FI, after we've spent a few minutes to both calm down. i can be soo stubborn and hes such a trooper with me!
I hate to say it, but it's usually my husband who first tries to smooth things out after a disagreement. He always apologizes, even if it's something that I totally started. I tend to be a little over-emotional at times, and he's usually very calm and rational. I guess we're a good balance.
I'm usually the one to extend the olive branch... I've tried to hold off and wait for him to do it but he takes longer so realize he's being "mean" so I have to say something to get the resolution going.
It's usually my FI, but often if I've been snippy I will apologize.
Even though I start the majority of our fights, I usually extend the olive branch first, once I have made my point : ) FI is not bad at apologizing either, but he will not always say "I'm sorry" - he will just try to make me laugh and start hugging me or something.
Before we got married, it was me. Almost all the time, even if i didn't start the fight or disagreement. But now, he's the one who appologizes first! I don't know why we switched roles...
HumarockBride: i do the same, even if it's only a very small disagreement!... I try not to cry, but i always end up bursting in tears :(
Although were both horribly stubborn neither of is can stay mad at one another for very long. doesnt matter usually whos fault it is, one of us will give a goofy smile and things will be okay again
Usually me. Although, he knows when I am super miffed, and will extend the olive branch. But that's about 1% of the time!
I have to bring it up (or he will just go into his man cave/primitive ways of handling anger) and then we talk it out. At some point he may raise his voice and at some point I usually will cry. He's the one who can actually get the conversation past understanding and into ultimate resolution. So I'm the initiator and he's the closer.
He almost never gets upset but if I get upset and he is part of the reason he will do whatever he can to make sure I'm not upset anymore! And if I get upset all on my own (which happens although it makes me sound like a crazy loon) I talk it out with him and make it all better (in my head...which is where it all started in the first place). We're good at talking things out and hardly ever have disagreements and never fight.
He has the patience of a saint. 
He's going to need it. 
Whomever started the quarrel isn't required to be the first to make peace but that usually is what happens with us.
Our reconciliation is usually quite frustrating because I want to resolve and make it better right away and he wants cool down time - but that frustrates me because once he is cool he just thinks everything is better and doesn't want to talk about it any more!
But he is pretty good about compromising and talking it out with me after a short cool down period!
We've never had an argument or gotten snippy enough with each other to bring it up again. When we have issues, we discuss them, together, calmly and reach a compromise.
It really depends on what we're discussing. Usually one of us is either hormonal (aka me) or really stubborn (which can be both of us). Sometimes he says things that are hurtful and they come out wrong and vice versa, in which case whoever was hurtful on accident apologizes. He has told me that sometimes he just doesn't want to get into a big debate so he backs off b/c I feel *very* strongly about certain things and he's more apathetic. I win! J/k j/k. But seriously, why should either of us push a point just to push it?
I refuse to apologize just to apologize unless I mean it. I'm stubborn but I also refuse to get into the habit where I feel as though I'm being walked all over and he is the same way. And honestly, I don't want him to just apologize to make me happy, b/c I know I'd be walking all over him for that one. It doesn't work for me.
Thankfully we're both quite reasonable people and have *amazing* communication skills due to him being away more often than not
It depends. Usually we will wait for the "person at fault", but if neither of us thinks we're at fault...well, that can be a long wait! So, some times (many times) we agree to disagree.
For us it really depends.
Depends on what the argument was about...
If it derailed into him being rudely defensive, it's a mutual apology. I apologize for the words that I used that got his back up. He apologizes for not thinking before speaking - a common guy problem when we push that 'defensive' button.
If I'm being neurotic, I apologize.
If he's being insensitive, he does.
But it's never really a simple problem if we are arguing - it all reaches back to something and so we talk it over - and that helps make the peace above anything else. Figuring out what is at the root of it and talking about ways to avoid it in the future.
That helps the most.
The Mr. does. He's much, much nicer than I am!
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If one of you gets snippy or if there's been an outright argument... who extends the first olive branch?