(Closed) Who makes the peace in your relationship?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Who makes the peace in your relationship?
    I do : (10 votes)
    20 %
    My SO does : (17 votes)
    33 %
    Whoever is at fault for the argument is responsible for the first outreach : (11 votes)
    22 %
    Neither of us - we wait some time and things cool down : (2 votes)
    4 %
    Other (please explain) : (11 votes)
    22 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    199 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2009 - Catholic ceremony, reception at local armory

    We usually take 5 and then one of us will say something like "do you still hate me" and it’s usually better.  Our arguments don’t last long.

    Post # 4
    Member
    416 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2008 - Imperia Hotel (modern chic hotel)

    No matter whether Im right or wrong… i always do.
    Im too nice….

    Post # 5
    Member
    1091 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2018 - Oakland Manor

    Usually Mr.D, he’s a much nicer person than I am 🙂

    Post # 6
    Member
    5399 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    My hubby is a way better person than me, so whether he is right or wrong he always tries to…gosh I love that man!

    Post # 7
    Member
    2725 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    I would say he does. We hardly fight, but when we do I say why I’m irritated, then we won’t talk for awhile, and finally he will talk to me about what is wrong. Not a good system, but we are working on it. I need to be more vocal-but I hate confrontation.

    Post # 8
    Member
    596 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2009 - Ceremony: The Kraine Theatre, Reception: Midtown Loft & Terrace

    Mr. Star is by far the calmer and more rational of the two of us. Usually he makes the peace!

    Post # 9
    Member
    739 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2009 - Red Fish Grill

    What?  Mr. Y and I never argue.  When we have "misunderstandings" he usually sees the light and realizes that I was right all along.  I kid, I kid!  We usually share the patching up duties. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    2004 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2008

    Ugh, I feel like I am queen of the olive branch. I am learning though that his signals that he has heard me and understands and will try harder in the future are not the same as mine. I go for the verbal signal, and he goes for the action. Sometimes I think he doesn’t like to say "I’m sorry" because he doesn’t like to apologize for himself. However, I can usually see a change in his behavior…IF I watch for it. So I have to watch for it, and then I feel better.

    Post # 11
    Member
    578 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    When we first got into our relantionship it was me. Always me. Then one day I had had enough of always given in and from then on we both try to be equal in it and fix the problem that we both seem to be causing when we have a disagreement.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1379 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2010

    Well I hate to say it but any argument usually leads to me crying — I seriously cannot stop the tears from flowing, I dont do well with confrontation and a lot of the times I have to say "pretend I’m not crying. I don’t mean to be crying!" … but as soon as he sees tears he just stops and apologizes even if he’s not at fault. Usually after a few minutes when I’ve got myself to stop crying, we both realize that whatever it was we were disucssing wasn’t worth the tears and we come to a conclusion together.  There have really been very few arguments that haven’t ended up in a positive way – realizing something about each other and coming to a joint conclusion about it. I feel really blessed for that.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1276 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    It’s not 100% of the time…but more often than not it’s my FI.  He has an incredible capacity for this…which was one of the tip offs for me that he’s a keeper 🙂  I was never really taught how to reach out and show someone that you love them when you’re upset.  Or as he often says, "Make friends again."  It’s a wonderful thing that I have to continue to learn from him.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1019 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2010

    Well, I chose other. We rarely get angry with one another because we are both such communicators that we talk through every little thing before it becomes big. He is probably the one who initiates this more, simply because he can not stand for there to be dischord. Neither can I, but I tend to be the one to mull it over for a while on my own before I bring it up.

    Post # 15
    Member
    21 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    My fiance, he’s much more emotionally stable than I am.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2404 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    usually my FI, after we’ve spent a few minutes to both calm down. i can be soo stubborn and hes such a trooper with me! 

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