Post # 1
So my awesome BMs are throwing me a bridal shower and naturally want my guest list. My initial thought was to invite the females involved in the wedding, close local friends and FI’s mom, siblings and cousins who are close in age to us.
FI just called and said his mom told him that she thinks all female relatives (FI’s aunts etc) need to be invited. This adds at least 10 extra people to the shower, and I feel bad abt giving my BMs such a long guest list. My mom will be coming, but my family lives far away so no other family members from my side will be coming.
Is FI’s mom right?
Post # 3
It really depends on what kind of shower it is. If it’s more of a younger vibe then maybe you shouldn’t invite family members but a regular shower could have family members. Just make sure that they are all invited to the wedding as well. It is sort of rude to have people come to your shower but noy your wedding.
Post # 4
Hmmm. I hate to say it but etiquette wise, FI’s Mom is right. Is there a compromise you could reach? I heard that all female relatives within 2 hours driving distance should be invited, but if you’re afraid the crowds won’t mix, you could blame it on that, as long as you are having another shower that his relatives could be invited to.
Post # 5
Ugh. Guess I need to cut down my friend invites to keep the overall numbers down. I guess it makes sense to invite them, it’s just kind of annoying since my family won’t even be there.
Post # 6
i had that issue too, i made my own list, i got a list from my mom, and then i asked for a list from my fmil. it ended up being huge, with some people on my fmil’s list that i don’t even know, but i felt like i should include my fi’s side too because the whole part of marriage is to join families. luckily for my sister/moh, my dad decided to sponser the shower so she doesn’t have to worry about the cost.
Post # 7
Good news from bridal etiquette… It probably won’t make a difference for the shower, but at least I know I’m not totally crazy!
There’s been an uncomfortable trend in recent years for large showers, where nearly everyone the bride knows gets an invite. This isn’t quite what the bridal shower is supposed to be, though. At least by tradition, a bridal shower’s meant to be a small, intimate gathering of the bride’s closest friends and family. Proper etiquette dictates a group of no more than ten to twenty guests.
Who the guest list should include: the wedding party, the mothers of the bride and groom, sisters of the bride and groom, and the bride’s closest friends and/or coworkers. Contrary to some recent practices, it probably shouldn’t include every woman invited to the wedding.
Post # 8
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
Ask your BMs how many they can accomodate, and that should help you decide what to do.
Post # 9
Whatever you end up deciding, remember that every guest on the list is one more gift you get! Hah, good luck with it, I understand not wanting to overwhelm your bridesmaids as they plan the thing.
Post # 10
Ha good points!
I more am just uncomfortable with the idea of FMIL’s invites totalling more than my family/friends. Plus, I’d like it to be more intimate. Maybe I should suggest they throw a groom’s shower 🙂