Who needs to be invited to an after party?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@sweet5k:  All of the wedding after parties I’ve been to were very casual, without a strict guest list.  You would get less people at your afterparty if it is not immediately following the wedding – with a 2-3 hour break, a lot of people will either be in for the night or will have found something else to do if they were not specifically invited, whereas if it is immediately following, they might head over regardless of whether they were formally invited.  I think splitting in by friends and family makes sense.

If I were left off the afterparty list, I might not realise I wasn’t invited, since in my experience they are casual events in my experience. 

Post # 5
Member
439 posts
Helper bee

Every wedding I’ve been to had an afterparty, and every afterparty has been a super casual affair that got discussed word of mouth during or right before the wedding. Only a tiny fraction of the original guest list generally attends – usually those who are 1) close in age to the couple 2) willing to stay up and party (i.e., no kids to get back to). 

If I found out there was an afterparty at a wedding that I just missed the grapevine on, no harm no foul. But if I found out there was a formally organized, invitations sent kind of party, and I was excluded, it would probably hurt my feelings. At the very least it would make me feel a bit ‘B list’. 

What time of day is your wedding? If you’re having a daytime wedding, more people will stick around for an afterparty. But if you’re having an evening wedding, only a small portion of your guests will stick around for the late-night afterparty.

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