Who paid for your maids dresses? You or them?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Who paid for your bridesmaid dresses?
    Me : (34 votes)
    30 %
    My maids themselves : (76 votes)
    67 %
    Someone else (tell me who) : (3 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    7281 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    The US custom is that the maids pay. That said, we paid for everything for our bridal party members. We didn’t think that our decision to get married should be a financial burden on our loved ones.

    Post # 3
    Member
    588 posts
    Busy bee

    I’m in Canada and my BMs paid for their dresses, just like I bought mine for their weddings. It sort balances out in the end no matter which way you do it (as long as you all pick similar price points for the dresses and also are in the wedding party of everyone who was in yours).

    Post # 4
    Member
    2581 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

    I’m in the UK and we had to buy our own bridesmaids dresses for my cousin’s wedding; and my bridesmaids or family members thereof have offered to buy their dresses for mine. I think the culture is changing a little bit here on that score.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2052 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I’m in the UK and I paid for all the bridesmaids dresses. They are paying for their own shoes, hair and makeup but I have made no requests so they can have literally whatever they want. 

    My belief is that if the bride is choosing the dress, she should pay. It’s only acceptable to ask the maids to pay if they get to choose IMO. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    5421 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2014

    MrsSpagan:  My parents are paying for most of the wedding, so they paid.

    Where I live/in my social circle, asking the bridesmaids to pay would be considered extremely rude; it just isn’t the done thing at all, and I hadn’t even heard of this being a thing until I joined the Bee.

    Post # 10
    Member
    6504 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I’m in the US and as a BM I have always paid for my own dress, hair, make up, nails, and shoes. My BMs also paid for their own dress.

    Post # 11
    Member
    494 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I’m UK too and we (me, fiancé and my parents) are paying for my singular adult BM’s dress And hair. She’s doing her own makeup and buying her own shoes (anything she wants though) the flower girls we’re getting dresses and shoes 🙂

    Post # 12
    Member
    2581 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

    MrsSpagan:  Well, we didn’t get a say with my cousin’s wedding, we were just kinda given them. I was lucky though because I was at University and had lots of balls that I was able to wear it to, the others I don’t think were able to do that.

    That’s why I’m so keen to get one that all my bridesmaids like – I’m letting them have the say on it really, and I’m just acting as the deciding vote I guess, and giving a colour preference. I’m very aware of budgets though! It’s tricky because actually three of them will be happy in anything, and one of them has got ideas on what she wants but they are not necessarily budget-friendly for all. But if we can’t find anything better I’ll definitely help towards the costs. And I’m not making any demands on hair or makeup or shoes or anything.

    I was actually flattered that they all offered to pay – my aunts have offered to pay for my cousins’ dresses, my FGMIL offered to pay for FSIL’s, and my friend offered to pay for her own. I didn’t ask any of them.

    Post # 13
    Member
    347 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I’m in the UK and I paid for all my maids dresses – I asked their thoughts on them, and they all said they liked them, so it was pretty easy really! 🙂

     

    edit: I have 4 adult bridesmaids (including my sister) and I’m paying for all their hair. Make up is undecided!

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  Kellym84.
    Post # 14
    Member
    5421 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2014

    MrsSpagan:  Yeah, I don’t really get it TBH; I tend to think that you are asking someone to be part of your day, and although some people say that they allowed their maids input, in reality, they usually get very little.

    In our case, we wanted a uniform look for three of our bridesmaids, with the MOH in a totally different dress. Because we had fairly firm ideas, we felt it only right that we should pay. That said they still got some say eg the three bridesmaids were asked to choose something floor-length, and aksed to decide between themselves on the colour and fabric, so that those things matched. However, they got to choose the colour (they went for a gorgeous emerald green), the fabric (chiffon) and the style (whcih we were fine with not matching; as it was 2 have the same dress, the other a slightly different one, though all 3 are strapless). Then with my MOH the stipulation was that it was ivory; that was it.

    So, they had a fair bit of choice, but because we wanted the same length etc, we felt it only right for us to pay.

    However, they’re using their own shoes, and doing their own hair and make-up; we didn’t pay for those things (though with flowers and gifts I think we’ve spent well over £00 on each of them :-s

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