Who pays? A couple debate.

posted 3 years ago in Money
  • poll: Who pays?
    Chris does : (113 votes)
    43 %
    Andrea does : (33 votes)
    13 %
    They split it evenly : (114 votes)
    44 %
  • Post # 3
    1893 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Dallas, TX

    That’s tough. Personally I think Chris should pay for Andrea’s airfare, and maybe to compromise they can split the hotel costs. I’m engaged now, but I think if I had been invited to a DW when my boyfriend and I were only dating, and it was my friend, I would foot most of the bill. 

    Post # 4
    5398 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @MrsPanda99:  We would split it evenly.

    The way I would see it is that I don’t have to go; I could decline and OH could go solo or bring someone else. If I chose to go, I would pay for myself, just as I pay for myself on any other trip/vacation.

    Post # 5
    1893 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Dallas, TX

    Also I HATE public fighting! We have a couple friend who will do that and it’s SO awkward. FI and I agree that we need to leave that kind of stuff at the door when we go out, even if we’re still pissed off at each other.

    Post # 6
    1463 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I think Chris should pay.  He sounds like a tightwad.

    Post # 7
    6980 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I think he should at least pay for her plane ticket.

    Post # 8
    7654 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    In my mind I would think Andrea should becuase she chose to accept the invitation. They should split hotel and cab fare costs though. Chris said hey I want you to come along, and she accepted so she should be responsible. If she doesn’t want to pay travel costs she should decline and not go as sucky as that sounds.

    IMHO though, I would hope that if it came down to it my SO/FI would want me along badly enough to pay for my way :-/



    Post # 9
    7997 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I think Chris should pay, but I guess I’m old fashioned.


    He makes more $$, wants her there, and she is happy to spring for her own hair, makeup, gift, etc.


    Devil’s advocate.. I don’t know their financial situation… maybe he paid for a zillion other things for her recently and she comes across as ungrateful.. who knows. When my SO and I started dating, we were invited to a destination wedding for his friends, and it wasn’t even a question whether he’d pay or not.


    Post # 10
    8389 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @MrsPanda99:  Well I’m used to having whoever invited me pay, but I think it needs to be discussed by the couple since each relationship handles its finances differently.  Obviously, they need to come to some sort of compromise (i.e. she pays for her flight, he pays for the hotel, etc).  I voted for Chris to pay based on my own experience, but again, each relationship is different.

    Post # 11
    518 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    FI and I operate under the “your friend, you pay / my friend, I pay” policy.  I understand that a DW is a bit different ballgame than an in-town wedding, but still, it is his friend and he should be footing the bill if he wants to go.

    One of my close friends from growing up is getting married in Jamaica in January, and I plan to handle the costs (now, FI may not let me pay for everything, but I’m not going to ask him to pay up).


    Post # 12
    4638 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    If I were in this situation when I was dating my BF, he would’ve offered to pay because it’s his friend and he’s a gentleman and would  want me there. Although, I certainly would offer to cover my own costs. 

    However, if Chris is a cheap ass regularly Andrea should’ve already been prepared to cover her own costs.

    Post # 13
    11626 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think they should each be paying for their own airfare and splitting anything joint – hotel, gift, etc.  

    Post # 14
    852 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @barbie86:  yep, I think this too.

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