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Just wondering what you are doing with regard to paying for bridesmaid dresses. Are you paying? Are they paying? and if they're paying, how much is a reasonable amount to have them pay?
Thanks! I love getting all of your imputs!!
I would have loved to pay, but I just can not afford to. I also have been in about ten weddings and never once did the bride pay for the dress. When we looked I tried to keep it under $200 and ended up with a $128 dress from anthropologie.
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I am paying for the bridesmaid dresses myself. I feel sort of weird making someone else buy a dress that I choose...
i think it depends on your own situation. if i had been in 10 weddings and none of my dresses were paid for, then i would probably make my girls pay too. but in my situation, i've only been in one wedding and the bride paid for the (very expensive) dress that she picked out (over $200). i designed my own bridesmaid dresses and had them made so i paid for them.
I'm mixed on this.
Each of my girls are wearing very different dresses in different gradations of the same color. Unfortunately, 2 of the dresses that I love are Jenny Yoo and therefore retardedly expensive ($380!)
I can't afford to buy this for them, but I was thinking of putting $100 each towards the dress to offset the cost (the 3rd dress is only $200).
My girls will be paying for their own dresses, but I also just picked a length, color, and fabric and told them to get what they wanted. That being said, I've been in several weddings and have always paid for my own dress (though the bride did help out with rush shipping charges on one when they had a relatively short engagement).
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my girls braved a bridal sample sale for me and as a result, i saved thousands of dollars so i am paying for their dresses. but i have also been in weddings where the BMs paid for their own. i think either or works... just be aware of your BM's financial situations!
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I have 6 bridesmaids; 4 of them are married, and I was in all of their weddings. I paid for all of the dresses, shoes, hair & makeup myself in their weddings (the hair and makeup was never required, but I couldn't resist!).
I paid about $110 for one of the dresses, and in the $200 range for the other 3 dresses (before alterations, etc.).
In a perfect world I would have loved to have treated my girls to their dresses, but seeing as it's not a perfect world and I paid to be in their weddings, I think they understand that I'm asking the same of them.
My dresses were on sale when we ordered them (30% off!) so the total came to $139 for each girl. I'm giving them the option to have hair and makeup done, but the cost is on them if they so choose, and I'm going to tell them a basic look I'd like for shoes but they can ultimately get whatever they want (or where something they already have).
I am paying for the bridesmaids dresses, but they will be purchasing their own shoes and other accessories for the day. Knowing them, they'll spend more on their shoes than what the dress cost me...
i've been in both situations where i've purchased my BM dress and then when the bride bought our dresses for us...
i'm giving my BMs carte blanche to buy their favorite black jim hjelm dress for my wedding - that way at least they picked it out and i know they'll wear it again...
Because my FI and I are paying for everything ourselves, our maids are paying for their own gowns.
However, that's not to say that I didn't bargin and coupon clip my way into getting them amazing deals! Plus, the dress are cute enough to wear again and again. Dress & Shoes, all courtesy of Ann Taylor totaled approx. $78.94. The dress was marked down and another 25% off for $49.50 and the shoes were marked down, too for $29.44.
No one complained. ;)
i think generally the BMs pay for their own dresses...and it's etiquette that the bride keeps the cost in mind when choosing the dress.
but sometimes the bride will pay for the dress and that serves as the bridesmaid gift.
My girls are paying, their dresses are $135 with a discount of 20% because I bought my wedding dress at the same shop.
They were all really good about the price and just wanted me to make sure I go something I liked, and I was concered about getting something that would suit them all.
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I paid for my BM's dresses. I got them on sale after Christmas at white house black market for $50 each (originally $150ish I think)! I love them so much, I bought one for myself, too 
.
when i was a bridesmaid, i paid for my gown and fully expected to do so. in turn, the bride didn't pick something ridiculously expensive. keep in mind, though, that alterations can add $50+ to the cost of a dress.
i'm hoping to pay for the dresses for my girls but, if i can't, i'm hoping to pay for other things like hair, makeup, nails and so on.
I bought my BMs dresses, ( but two of them are my sisters)... there is such a cost to being BM (plane, gift, parties, hair and makeup) that I wanted to do what I could. If I had asked them to pay, I'd be sure to get Ann Taylor on sale or something and not something from a bridal shop- they're way too expensive if you're not willing to buy it for them.
I paid for all my 4 BM dresses, but I wouldn't have done this if they didn't each cost $75 each from a Macy's markdown. They know that this is a big part of their gift as being a BM. I am also making their jewelry. I love my girls because they appreciate that I'm being practical, and they're practical too.
If the dresses were to cost more, I would not have been able to afford it. But I would give them a separate gift. I've been in 6 weddings, and I bought all of my BM dresses, but that's normal and I didn't mind at all.
i'm paying for their dresses, shoes, hair/makeup, and accessories (their gift). i got a great deal on the dresses and shoes though, and they are very pretty, so i lucked out. i was planning to pay for them though, hoping to stay about $150 each. there was never a doubt that i would take care of it. these are my girls. i dont count with them. i'm not well off by any means, but to ask them to stand by our side and help us out, that was the least that i could do.
i've been in weddings where i paid for all, and also where the bride pays for all. i think most bridesmaids know that it is a costly "honor" so any help that you can give will be appreciated by them. there were times when i resented how much i had to spend for the first bride, b/c everything added up. dress, hair, shoes, bachelorette party in vegas where we all split hotel dinner entertainment etc, bride & groom shower, gift!, jewelry...so being in the wedding wasn't as much fun b/c of these reasons. i think the more thoughtful you are, the more you will get in return anyways.
but i think if you stay reasonable, it's understandable. for example, if you want them all to have their hair up, it would be a nice gesture to pay for this yourself as this is your wish. i think the main rule is just to be considerate of your bridesmaids as well. perhaps ask them what their budget is for being a bridesmaid so that you stay close to it. many of us girls complained to one another about the high cost of being in her wedding, and though she is a friend, i wouldn't ever want someone to think of being in my wedding this way. :P
I would say it depends. I have been in weddings where we bought our own dresses; the cost was reasonable, and there was no travel. The last wedding I was in all the BMs had to travel, and hotel was fairly expensive (Santa Fe), and we were there for five days, so there was also significant cost for food... The bride payed for the dresses. Although quite frankly another $200 on top of the actual cost of the travel was not significant, but if you're asking your girls to spend a lot of money just to be there its sort of the least you can do.
I happily paid for all of my girls (5) Bill Levkoff dresses varying from $250 to $280 each. None of them are wearing cookie cutter dresses. They each chose their own dress in their own style I just asked that they stay with the color Sable. Hair, makeup, shoes, everything is taken care of for them by us.(the guys too)
they're paying, but they also get to choose the design, so i didn't feel as bad about it (i chose the designer -- jim hjelm, as long as it's brown and tea-length and they like it). we're getting them from netbride, so it's about 150, but i still may subsidize it so that it's a little cheaper. i told them i don't care about shoes, and they could get their hair/makeup done but they definitely don't have to.
i think it's nice to be able to pay for the dress, but not necessary. i think getting the dress just comes with the territory of being a bm. i've had to wear HORRIBLE dresses before that cost much more than i wanted to spend, and you just suck it up! i didn't want to do that to my bms.
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Generally, bridesmaids pay for their own dresses. That said, ALL of your bridesmaids will appreciate you keeping it cheap - I wouldn't have asked my girls to pay more than $150.
If I'd found a dress I'd *loved* for more than that, I'd have paid the difference
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I plan to tell my bridesmaids that I'm covering up to $100 toward the cost of their dress. I don't care if they match exactly, so I'm going to tell them to get some sort of navy blue cocktail dress and they can go from there -- either the same dress if they all decide on it, or different dresses if they want (which I'd actually prefer). If they want to go pricey, they can pay the difference, or if they want to go cheap they get a free dress. I'd love to cover the cost completely but I don't think it'll be in my budget, and I think this is a fair compromise.
I am paying. I feel that if I couldn't pay for their dresses, I'd simply have less bridesmaids. I feel its wrong to ask someone to pay for a dress they will most likely never wear again. Since I'm not going to sacrifice style or my tastes for cheap dresses (that really aren't cheap) (a recent 200 ann taylor chloe that I had to purchase comes to mind) I am paying. It's easier this way.
I am paying for their dresses, alterations, hair and makeup, and probably giving them jewelry as BM gifts. . . I haven't yet decided if they will have to buy shoes yet or not, but if they need to, I will pay for those as well.
I feel guilty having them pay so much money for a dress they will, in all likelihood and despite my best efforts, never wear again. My BMs are almost all family, so that does make a difference. If I had 10 BMs or alot of them like it is so common today, then I might not pay for everything, but definitely at least subsidize it.
I'm having dresses custom made for each of them. I bought the fabric and am paying the seamstress for each of them. At the end it will be about $80/dress. I'm also hoping I can afford to pay their hair & makeup ($130/ea) but we'll see. For shoes, they can pick one of their own. Although I am on the lookout for bargains as well in that dept.
My girls are paying for their own dresses, I will pay for their hair, and my one their sisters' is going to do all our makeup, which i am supplying. I've never actually been in a wedding (hopefully its good luck that the first wedding I'm ever in is my own) but I am under the impression that the BM pays for her own dress at least. And I am also getting them each a cardigan, plus jewelry (possibly, I'm going to ask their opinion on this one), a monogrammed tote (thanks to the ladies who gave me some sites for this!) and a little clutch to carry the day of if I can't find a cardigan with pockets.
But I also think that each wedding is different, and depending on the circumstances depends on who pays for what. One of my BM's has been job hunting for the past 8 months without any luck, so I paid for hers and whenever she gets a job and gets herself established again, she's going to pay me back.
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They paid for their own dresses - I thought about paying for them but they seemed to expect the cost and I tried to keep it really low. Then I'll pay for their make-up and hair - probably more than the dresses cost anyway! Plus I'm letting them pick their own shoes and jewelry and trying to get them nice gifts. 
i paid for all of their dresses, hair/makeup, shoes, jewelry (gifts), hair accessories. but these girls are either family or closest friends. there was no way i'd have them pay for stuff that they wouldn't wear again. we also paid for the guy's outfits. we figured we were already grateful to have them set aside all the time to help us with the wedding, all their running around throughout the big day, some had to travel, etc, so this was the least we could do. the girls also planned my shower/bachelorette on their own though.
BUT, i think it is understood by most that the bridal party takes care of their attire. i've been in 2 weddings, one where the bride took care of it all and the other where we i had to shell out over $1500 for everything.
so if you have it in your budget, you can help out as much possible. e.g., pay towards a dress, pay for professional hair/make-up if you want them to look their best, etc. your party will appreciate it a thousandfolds, and these are the people you are supposed to be closest to, right?
but if you don't have it in your budget, then your bridal party will understand. just be considerate to the costs of everything you choose. :)
I am the MOH in my sister's wedding, we are each paying over $200, mine is about $275.00. For my wedding, my girls will be in a similar proce range. I wouldn't ask them to pay that much, since it is a lot, but they actually told me they love the dress, and 3 out of the 5 asked to wear it. The other 2 haven't seen it yet. It is a Melissa Sweet that is a dress that they all said they would wear again.
My maids are paying for their dresses. They are reasonably priced. If I had chosen an expensive dress, I may have paid a portion of the cost. No one expected me to pay for their dresses.
I fully expect to pay for the dress when I'm a bridesmaid. That said, the dress for the last wedding I was in was the most expensive dress I've ever owned, and I had to pay $70 in alterations on top of that. And of course, despite the best intentions of every bride, I've never worn a bridesmaid dress again. Be considerate of expenses, think of alterations, and I'm sure the girls will be happy to wear whatever makes you happy!
My bridesmaids are paying for their dresses as well, but we are doing off the rack dresses that are only $85 and could totally be worn again due to the fabric they are made out of.
I've always paid for the dress whenever I was a bridesmaid, but I paid for my girls dresses because I felt they were already shelling out so much to come to my destination wedding. It helped that I got a great deal. :) Every situation is different; do what's right for you.
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I'm letting my girls pick out any black dress they want to wear. Most of the girl will be wearing little black dresses out of their closets. This makes me SO happy :) I would hate for them to pay money for a dress they won't wear again. Believe me I have a few in my closet! They're all super happy about being able to choose a dress they like that looks good on their figure.
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I bought the dresses and will be taking care of hair and possibly shoes. They will most likely be responsible for their make-up.
My girls are paying for the dresses, I am paying for hair, makeup and shoes. I let them pick the style of a dress all in the same color, and picked a line of dresses that ranged from $90-140 so I don't feel super bad asking them to pay.
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Any time I have been a BM I have always paid for my own dress. Last wedding I was in, the dress was $160 but it was a loooong engagement & I was being a super slacker & waited until 2 months before the wedding to get my dress....it was on sale for $99...woo hoo...which was perfect timing as I had just gotten laid off. This being said however, I am NOT recommending anyone wait that long to get their dresses :)
They are paying for their own dresses, but they get to choose style, color (within the same color family) and fabric. They can pick their own shoes. I'm only maintaining veto power over 1 BM who may try to go with purple polar fleece and no make up. I may pay for hair and make up and am buying their jewelry -I work for a fair trade jewelry and accessories wholesaler, so it's not a huge expense for me!
I wish I could spoil my girls and buy their dresses, but unfortunately I cannot. The dress I chose is on the expensive side ($220s), but I did score a bit of a discount with the salon. I am (quietly) helping out two girls cover the cost of their dresses (one putting herself through grad school, the other between jobs). I console myself that the other girls are from Europe and will be getting a built-in discount with the weak dollar.
I'm hunting down vintage deco era brooches for them to wear with the dresses, which will be part of their bridesmaid gifts. Otherwise they're choosing their own shoes and accessories. I will not be able to afford their hair/make-up, but I think my mom's treating them to a mani/pedi.
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