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Who Pays for Dinner?! It's a reception, right?

posted 4 months ago in Destination Weddings
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    1.
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    174 posts
    Blushing bee
    teamkersey    July 17, 2012   Tupelo, Mississippi

    So now that we are on the planning ball...

    We decided on a wedding ceremony on the beach on Sanibel Island with max 30 guests. Dinner afterward at a local restaurant.

    These are all family, maybe a few friends, very casual and comfortable. I thought that since we have invited everyone to the DW that we would automatically cover the dinner...in lieu of a reception. Fiancee says no. I told him to call his mother. (haha! hoping she would be on my side!) She says no, but to go with whatever I say. (love her already.) I call my Dad, he says Yes, we pay for it.  FI says "they are getting a vacation out of it" HELLO?? They are PAYING for airline, hotels, etc! We are having a wedding WEEK, and everyone lives in either Kentucky, Indiana,..some in DC. I think since we are not having big florist action, expensive BM dresses, huge venue $$, we should pay for dinner, geez!

     

    Anyone? I'm ok with not paying for it, I just thought it would seem inconsiderate after guests travel expenses.

     
    2.
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    Honey bee
    smyley    May 2010  

    Uh...I would most definitely pay for dinner.

     
    3.
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    Sugar
    Beekeeper
    julies1949      

    The host and hostess pay for dinner. You are the host and hostess- nuff said.

     
    4.
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    Busy bee
    DeadUtopia    September 15, 2012   San Antonio

    God, I would be pissed if I travelled for a wedding and didn't even get dinner out of it. Some people may be getting a vacay out of it, but it wasn't one that they necessarily chose, they went along with it so they could attend your wedding. I wouldn't short change your guests by not even treating them to dinner. Give this thread a day or two and show it to your FI, I'm with you on this one and I'm sure most Bees will be too! :)

     
    5.
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    Newbee
    mocha82    July 21, 2012   Chicago

    Yes, I say you pay.  If it comes directly following the ceremony, I consider it to be a reception.

    Good luck with it!  Sounds like it'll be fabulous!

     
    6.
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    Beekeeper
    tksjewelry    June 25, 2011   Omaha

    Yeah, I think paying for dinner would be expected.  The dinner is the reception, IMO, and therefore would be treated similarly.

     
    7.
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    Bumble bee
    misskoala    July 23, 2011   married in Georgia/living in Portland, OR

    If it were my wedding, I would pay for the dinner for the guests. You're right, it is like a reception.

     
    8.
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    Newbee
    orangebride10    November 10, 2012  

    It is still a wedding reception even if your just going to dinner. With that said you are responisble for paying for the dinner for everyone. I would think that your guest would be very upset after having to pay to get there and stay there they not even get treated for one meal. 

     
    9.
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    3,171 posts
    Sugar bee
    brideatbeach    June 4, 2011  

    I have never attended a wedding and had to pay for dinner, regardless of whether I had to travel for the wedding. The dinner is like a thank-you to your guests for sharing in your day with you! I really think your fiance and his mom are wrong on this one.

     
    10.
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    Blushing bee
    teamkersey    July 17, 2012   Tupelo, Mississippi

    I love being right! Super fast responses!  Thanks everyone!! I knew I could come here and get the answers! I would also be a little put off if I traveled hundreds of miles and didn't get a dang dinner! Sheesh.

     

     
    11.
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    Blushing bee
    SoonToBeMrsMoose    August 18, 2012  

    Yeah, especially for an out of town wedding you should treat your guests that are traveling for you. I went to a small local wedding where everyone paid for their own meal at a local bar and grill, and it was fine, but if it had been a destination wedding that would be kind of rude considering what the guests are expected to pay for.

     
    12.
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    459 posts
    Helper bee
    starbuck    October 13, 2012   Hudson Valley

    you are totally right--and he is wrong!

     
    13.
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    Sugar bee
    brideatbeach    June 4, 2011  

    @teamkersey: Haha show this thread to him. :) In the process of planning my wedding, I asked so many questions DH and I disagreed about on these forums, and then I would show him the results! ;)

     
    14.
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    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    UpstateCait    October 7, 2011   Upstate, NY

    If I carted my ass to a DW and was made to pay for my own reception meal, I would be appalled. You absolutely MUST pay for everything associated with your wedding. You've asked your guests to make a major financial commitment, the least you can do is feed them. 

     
    15.
    Member
    174 posts
    Blushing bee
    teamkersey    July 17, 2012   Tupelo, Mississippi

    He's caved. He is now on the phone with his Mom and they are like "OUR BAD"! So we're paying. Geez, it's dinner!

     

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