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God, I would be pissed if I travelled for a wedding and didn't even get dinner out of it. Some people may be getting a vacay out of it, but it wasn't one that they necessarily chose, they went along with it so they could attend your wedding. I wouldn't short change your guests by not even treating them to dinner. Give this thread a day or two and show it to your FI, I'm with you on this one and I'm sure most Bees will be too! :)
Yes, I say you pay. If it comes directly following the ceremony, I consider it to be a reception.
Good luck with it! Sounds like it'll be fabulous!
Yeah, I think paying for dinner would be expected. The dinner is the reception, IMO, and therefore would be treated similarly.
If it were my wedding, I would pay for the dinner for the guests. You're right, it is like a reception.
It is still a wedding reception even if your just going to dinner. With that said you are responisble for paying for the dinner for everyone. I would think that your guest would be very upset after having to pay to get there and stay there they not even get treated for one meal.
I have never attended a wedding and had to pay for dinner, regardless of whether I had to travel for the wedding. The dinner is like a thank-you to your guests for sharing in your day with you! I really think your fiance and his mom are wrong on this one.
I love being right! Super fast responses! Thanks everyone!! I knew I could come here and get the answers! I would also be a little put off if I traveled hundreds of miles and didn't get a dang dinner! Sheesh.
Yeah, especially for an out of town wedding you should treat your guests that are traveling for you. I went to a small local wedding where everyone paid for their own meal at a local bar and grill, and it was fine, but if it had been a destination wedding that would be kind of rude considering what the guests are expected to pay for.
@teamkersey: Haha show this thread to him. :) In the process of planning my wedding, I asked so many questions DH and I disagreed about on these forums, and then I would show him the results! ;)
If I carted my ass to a DW and was made to pay for my own reception meal, I would be appalled. You absolutely MUST pay for everything associated with your wedding. You've asked your guests to make a major financial commitment, the least you can do is feed them.
He's caved. He is now on the phone with his Mom and they are like "OUR BAD"! So we're paying. Geez, it's dinner!
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So now that we are on the planning ball...
We decided on a wedding ceremony on the beach on Sanibel Island with max 30 guests. Dinner afterward at a local restaurant.
These are all family, maybe a few friends, very casual and comfortable. I thought that since we have invited everyone to the DW that we would automatically cover the dinner...in lieu of a reception. Fiancee says no. I told him to call his mother. (haha! hoping she would be on my side!) She says no, but to go with whatever I say. (love her already.) I call my Dad, he says Yes, we pay for it. FI says "they are getting a vacation out of it" HELLO?? They are PAYING for airline, hotels, etc! We are having a wedding WEEK, and everyone lives in either Kentucky, Indiana,..some in DC. I think since we are not having big florist action, expensive BM dresses, huge venue $$, we should pay for dinner, geez!
Anyone? I'm ok with not paying for it, I just thought it would seem inconsiderate after guests travel expenses.