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Lovely bees, help me!
So if you want to have a wedding where guests have to spend a few hours driving (say 3-4) and they will have to stay the night, who pays?
And if you (guest) do pay, how much would you pay to stay? How much would be TOO MUCH for you to decline a wedding?
Thanks! ♥
@BerryBerry: As a guest, I would pay for my own hotel. Can you give your guests a variety of hotel choices with different prices?
Normally the guest pays (at least in the US). I would try to offer your guests a few options with different price points. Its hard to say how much I would pay. Hotel costs are different in different areas and it depends how well I know the person.
Try to reserve a block of hotel rooms at a nearby inexpensive hotel. They might give you a discount, you have to call and ask. This is what I'm doing. Also, I gave my guests other suggestions of nearby hotels/inns/b&bs
I would pay, and how much weould depend on whose wedding it was, how many other trips I already had planned for that same part of the year when I found out about the wedding, and whether there were other options around.
In America, you usually only host guests for destination weddings, and then sometimes not even.
We went to a wedding in Sacramento last year, and the couple provided information for two hotels to choose from. We did receive a reduced rate of $96, and the hotel was in walking distance of the reception.
Thanks for the input so far guys!
So would you think $200 a couple a night is too much? Or would you want to pay less?
This includes breakfast and is at the same place as the reception/wedding.
(I'm wanting to have my wedding and reception at the same place as the accommocation so no one has to travel)
As a guest I would pay for my own accommodations.
$200 a couple would be a bit much IMO, but again it depends on location. In most big cities around me I can find nice accommodations for closer to $130-150.
I think you're OK as long as you're giving your guests options other than your reception venue.
@BerryBerry: At my hotel, rooms start at $249 at our discount. Nearby hotels are about the same; you have to go about 15-20 minutes away to get to the $100s. This does not include breakfast (which, ps, is freaking $49 for the brunch) or valet, which is like $29 overnight/$15 daily, I think. It would be nice if it were less, but it is what it is, and we weren't going to get much better anywhere in the area.
So, no, I don't think $200 is too much. We did make a point though or recommeding on our website hotels further away that cost less.
We have rooming blocks available to our guests with rooms at $100 per night, which is the typical rate for the area. However, I don't think $200 for one night is too expensive, especially if they know well enough in advance.
Just keep in mind that there may be a guest or two that can't /won't spend that money and might find an alternative. That is why recommending a lesser expensive option might be nice to accommodate everyone.
So would you think $200 a couple a night is too much?
for me no, for my brother yes - depends on the person so 2 accomodation options at a min is a good idea so guests have a choice or they can look into something else themselves
this is tricky. As long as you have a range of hotels and prices in the area, it's fine. I dislike when there is only one choice, either too expensive or too cheap. In this case I'd probably suck it up and drive to the $100/night place, unless there was something more awesome about the $200/nigjht place (right on the beach or something) etc.
It would really depend on who invited me, I love weddings so the bar is high when it comes to cost but i would obviously shell out more for a relative or good friend rather than a friend i only see once and a while
About 80% of my guests will be OOT (we're having the wedding where we live, which is in the middle of our two families), so I can't afford to pay the hotel costs for 140+ people. Guests will be responsible for paying for their hotels, but I will be blocking out rooms at multiple hotels in the area in various price points.
As a guest, I expect to pay for my own hotel. However, 200 is a lot IMO. I am totally happy to pay 100 and even a bit more but after 150 I would be skeptical. I also think you need to consider how many people are coming from far enough away that they would need to stay more than one night. I just booked 4 nights for the nexe wedding I am attending in order to get in in time for the rehersal without coming directly from the airport and staying long enough to not have to wake up and go directly to the airport on Sunday. In such a case I would stay somewhere else before paying 200 per night.
For me, $200 would be way over my budget - I would rather drive, and skip out on the brunch. I agree that offering different options would be great for your guests.
berryberry, is your wedding going to be near a beach or winery? the guests already might expect to pay as much as $200 for a hotel.
i agree with kerensa , you should give the guests a range of options. let them know if you're reserving a block of rooms because they may choose that option if it's more convienent --walking distance to the ceremony/reception--or if most of the other guests are staying there.
I guess unless you really can afford hotel accommodation for all the OOT guest, I don't think they should expect you to pay. (However, I have heard stories relatives WERE expecting the couple to pay for it regardless if they can afford or not. So I would double check with your family).
As friends I never expected the couple to pay for mine.
I would let your guests know you have blocked off rooms for the hotel close to the reception. However, I would suggest you to do more research for something cheaper in advance and let guests know if they want more options, they can check in with you.
I usually have to fly out to people's weddings. So I tend to not stay at the couple's reserved hotel as they are more expensive. I usually just research myself and book somewhere else and drive/take a cab to the reception.
We are offering the option on our website listing pricing and hotels. We got a $30/night discount at the hotel where the reception will take place. I do have some family that will be staying at a different hotel because an OOT cousin works for that particular company.
Our guests will be paying there own way.
The place I was a lovely old mansion on 200 acres of gardens and pasture, and the ceremony and reception are all at the same place. (Ceremony in the gardens, reception in the dining room.)
It's going to be a very small wedding so the people invited would only be very close friends and family. (Around 20)
Here are link to the place to get a general idea:
I liked the idea of all the guests being able to be in the same place as everyone pretty much knows each other and have been friends for a while.
Guest would pay but that hugely depends on ones income/ budget. Close family/ friends $200 for the night. Not close friends/ family we would decline over $75 for the night, and the gift would probably be less too.
Also, would I at least cover the costs of my bridesmaids accommodation? Perhaps as a gift?
That would be generous of you. I think you have to make clear what you expect them to pay for once you ask. If you say hey be my BM but know that it's a destination wedding, plus dress cost plus this cost and that cost etc. Then they know what they are accepting.
Hiya, all of our guests, our bridal party and ourselves are going to be flying to our wedding. It is typically customary for the guests to pay their own flights and accommodation and to help them with that, we'll be sending out save the dates about 6-9 months in advance with all the details and the actual invite will go out 3 months in advance. So everyone can book and plan. To save costs for our guests, we are providing transport to and from the venue. We are also negotiating special deals for accommodation (there is a FABULOUS apartment hotel overlooking the ocean, with all amenities, etc for $120. But prices are very competitive in Queenstown where we'll be getting married, as there are many, many hotels around there and the wedding is being held in their off-season). We are also looking into bulk flights as well. We'll have all of that sorted come time for sending out the save the dates, so our guests will be able to decide and plan. Maybe you could do something similar? Bearing in mind, you will also be providing your guests with food and entertainment for an entire day and those that will come, will be coming for you. If you're still worried about the cost to your guests, another option is simply to let them know they don't need to give you a wedding gift - the only gift they can bring is themselves. Thats what we will be doing (which also works out well, as it is a destination wedding and i cant quite see how we'd manage to cart all the presents home. But if youre not worried about that, you could just set up a wishing well in place of presents).
With regards to the bridal party, we'll be paying for their attire, jewellery etc (which they get to keep), as well as an awesome meal and entertainment for the day. So, no I wouldn't pay accommodation or flights for them either. I have however given the bridal party freedom to choose the dresses and jewellery etc and like with the other guests, we are negotiating discount accommodation and flight deals for them. Our wedding date is also set to a weekend, so our guests can have a holiday or weekend away and enjoy their time in Queenstown, without having to worry about getting time off work if they don't want to :)
$200 US would depend on whether it was an exciting destination we'd want to go to anyway. We'd still go to the wedding if not, we'd just stay at a cheaper/different place. $200 Australian is a bit less, and more reasonable. After 4 months of backpacking through Asia, my standards have lowered, though ;-) (also, important to remember that Australian $ is less than US $, so it isn't really $200 US currency!)
@MrsHayden: ?? There is no ocean in Queenstown NZ. Are you talking about the lake? (I was literally just there last month!)
Well 200 AUD is 215 USD so there isn't too much difference. :) And yes I've seen some of the amazing places you can stay on Asia, and they're so inexpensive.
I was thinking that covering the accommodation costs of one bridesmaid, who will be coming to Tasmania all the way from London, would have been the right thing to do. She and her partner would be paying a lot of money to fly over, so covering $200 for them to have a nice room seems reasonable.
Thoughts?
I've neever been to, nor, heard of a wedding where the bride and groom were paying for guest accomodations....that being said, everyone gives a choice of a couple of venues that are offering a reduced "room block" rate for out-of-town guests.
@BerryBerry: I think for the bridesmaid coming in from London you could make an exception and pay for their room or at least offer it. I'm sure they'd greatly appreciate it :) But do you have anyone else flying a similar distance?
Nope, just that one person. Everyone else will be in the same state. I think one couple will flying down from Queensland.
@BerryBerry: I'm confused--if $200 is too much, can't they just stay somewhere else? Honestly, if people considered it too expensive to pay for 1 night in a hotel to go to my wedding and decided not to come, I would consider it good riddance. Obviously it's not that important to them-as any close friends/family wouldn't think twice about coming.
To expect you to pay is excessive, that can add up VERY quickly and will eat into your budget, not to mention some people might just come for a vacation on you, and treat your wedding as an afterthought--ok maybe I'm a little cynical about people but it comes from experience lol
Of course, if a close friend or family member is in financial straits it would be nice to offer to pay for their hotel--but that is a case by case basis--not the entire guest list
I would definitely not pay. I think that even though they are driving 3-4 hours, it is their choice to stay. So, I think that you should give them the main option and then give them a second, and even third option. Let them decide how much they want to pay.
Guest should pay. It is their choice to go.
The only thing you can do, to be a nice hostess is to get group pricing/room blocks at a couple of hotels in the area.
Ok, in a nutshell, the place I was wanting to be married at is a massive old mansion. When you book a wedding there you basically get the WHOLE thing to yourself, so it's just you and your guests for the day/night/next day.
As it's only a very small wedding of very close family and friends (about 15 people) I was kinda assuming everyone would stay at the mansion. We would all meet up and chill out before the wedding, then meet up later for the wedding, have breakfast together the next morning. It really would be a close, snug intimate thing.
So could people stay somewhere cheaper? Yes they could, of course, and that option is available, but if you did want to stay in the mansion it would be about $200 a night.
So yeah, staying in an old mansion, 5 stars. wedding/reception within walking distance, gardens and stables for the guests to explore, breakfast included.
I beleive I can be a little flexible with the price...
So, is $200 too much for this? Or would you still be inclined to go elsewhere? Remember it's for close family and friend, no distant cousins, etc,
@BerryBerry: Could you still have your wedding at the mansion if no one chooses to stay at the mansion? Or was some room occupancy required (for your budget or hotel rules, etc)?
I don't think $200 is bad for a 5 star mansion with breakfast, personally, but we all have different financial situations. It's good to have options however.
@BerryBerry: They are very close friends and family--of course it isn't too much
If they want to stay at a super-8 that's their business, but in general that sounds like quite a deal
Just be prepared that people might minus some of that $200 out of the gift/money that they give you
about half our guests will be travelling at least 2 hrs. we are not paying for thier rooms however our venue ( a double tree hotel) gave us a awesome deal starting at 109 a night up to 139 a night for what THEY choose.... makes it easier on us and them...buffet is included in some of the packages
I would just make sure people are aware of the price up front..and 200 can be reasonable for all thats included
My wedding is local for me and FI family but for my family and most friends they will have to drive 2-5 hours some are even flying in and we have a block of rooms at the hotel our wedding is at with a rate of $159 per room. I did offer the guests other hotel options but with the room rate discount no other hotels had prices that were comparable. Everyone I know, we have over 40 rooms booked and some are staying for the whole weekend ,thought it was a very reasonable price and didnt complain at all. Well at least not to me anyways! If I had to pay for everyone to stay that would be the cost of another wedding! lol
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