Weddingbee boards

I think it's actually more traditional for the BM to pay for her dress herself. Not for the bride too. My girls are paying for theirs. If i were you I'd just assume I were paying for it unless teh bride says otherwise.

I agree with everyone else, that the cost of a BM dress is the responsiblity of the BM.  I think an exception could be REALLY wanting someone to participate who you know has minimal funds.  (I know we're going to help with the costs for the groom's party, because they're all in financially challenged places). 

I think paying for BM can be something you two can discuss, but it's not standard.  And it's also a good chance to discuss what the BMs can afford, so you can make sure a reasonably priced dress is picked out.  (And one that may not require too many alterations). 

I agree that usually the BM pays.  If you are nervous about having funds for the dress, I'd have a talk with her.  State that you understand that BMs usually pay for their own dresses, and you're excited to be a part of her wedding, but you really only can afford to pay X on a dress.  Hopefully the bride will work within your budget or take a hint that maybe she should include a portion (or all) of the BM dresses into her wedding budget.

I've been in two weddings, and I'll be in a third in October. I've paid for every dress and alterations. BM's are expected to buy their dresses and pay for alterations, and any other accessories for the dress, unless the bride decides to do that. Just like littlemissmoo said, if you can't afford it (and the bachelorette, bridal shower, etc), you need to be upfront about it. Don't wait till 2 months from the wedding to decide that you can't attend things because you can't afford it.

My BMs paid for their dresses and alterations. Because I realize being in a wedding is expensive, I paid for the hair and makeup as part of the wedding gift. I think if you paid for their dress you would not be expected to shell out on a big gift for them at the end.

Make sure you tell the bride your budget! If she is a good friend, she'll take that in account. I would NEVER pay $300 for a bridesmaid dress, even if it was my sister's wedding. That's ridiculous for a dress you'll never wear again. I wouldn't pay that much for a dress for my own occasion (graduation, etc. ) so why would I pay it for someone else? 

But I do agree that its traditional here in the US for bridesmaids to pay for their own wedding attire. I've heard that in other places that the bride pays, but here, its more common for the BMs to pay. 

Yes, in the US it is more customary for the BMs to pay. Agree with PP--talk to the bride about price range. You want to know what you're getting into. Not only that, but some brides require their BMs to have their hair and/or makeup professionally done or to purchase shoes, jewelry, and/or other accessories to wear. It can really add up. Talk to the bride and see if this is something you're able to swing. If you think you may have to bow out b/c of the cost, it's better to bring this up sooner rather than later.

I am a bridesmaid in a wedding next summer and we already bought our dresses.  It was just assumed that we would pay for our own dresses, accessories, hair and makeup.  With my bridesmaids, I will be paying for their dresses.  But they won't know that until they pick out their dresses, just to keep it a surprise for them!  I've budgeted up to $250 per dress so depending on the cost of their dress, I may end up paying for their alterations too. If they choose to buy new shoes, or get their hair and makeup done, then they will have to pay for those costs.

Hmm, I have never heard of the Bride paying for their BM's dresses... I don't think it's fair for the Bridesmaids to be dishing out $300 for a dress though!!. Maybe come to some compromise in the dress/pricing department? I love my friends dearly, but that is just steep! 

BMs should pay for the dress unless it exceeds 200 in which case you should pay the remainder. 

my BM's are really tight on cash, so i'm going to buy their dresses, but normally the BM's pay for their own dresses, i thought that was the tradition.

A couple of decades ago, in Canada (at least in my area), it was tradition for the bride's family (or bride) to pay for the dresses.  You have to remember that a lot of the time people were buying fabric and either having dresses made or making them themselves from patterns.  The thought was that if you (as a BM) don't have a say in the style and/or colour of the dress, then you don't pay.  

My mom was shocked that I had to pay for my dress when I was a BM for the first time.  That dress, with alterations, DID cost almost $300.  I was a student and couldn't afford it, so my parents gave me the dress as a Christmas present.  The second time I was a BM (I've done the deed four times now), my dress, hair, and makeup was paid for.  The MOB/bride insisted that she was doing things "old school".

I think that it's nice to do, if you can afford it as a bride/couple/whomever is paying, but it isn't a given.  If you're concerned about money, be upfront about it- ten to one, you aren't the only BM who has the concern.  The bride really should have already talked to you about the budget for the dresses and/or what she was going to pay for.  I would assume you are paying unless she says otherwise.