Post # 1
These days it seems like wedding budgets are quite tight and I’m going to be a bridesmaid for a wedding next year…I know its more traditional for the bride to pay for the bridesmaid dress but on some occasions I’ve heard that the bridesmaids have had to pay for it and also all of the alterations…sometimes costing up to $300!!! (for both the dress and alterations) how do you find out if you’re going to be paying or not…or can’t afford it!
Post # 3
I think it’s actually more traditional for the BM to pay for her dress herself. Not for the bride too. My girls are paying for theirs. If i were you I’d just assume I were paying for it unless teh bride says otherwise.
Post # 4
I’ve been a BM more times than I can count. I’ve always paid for my dress so I don’t think its traditional for the bride to pay for the dresses.
Post # 5
The best way is to ask. I told my MOH that money was tight and if I gave her free rein over what her dress looked like was she happy to pay for it and all her accessories herself. She jumped at the idea because it meant she got to buy something that she loves that she will wear again. If you ask the bride and she says that she was expecting you to pay for it then just explain that you may not be able to afford all of it and you realize weddings are expensive but if you don’t have some monetary assistance then you may have to step down from being a BM with no hard feelings.
Post # 6
Yeah I thought that the tradition or etiquette was for the bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses. I’ve been in 6 weddings and have paid for my dress for every single one. It is part of a bridesmaid’s responsibilities and I personally believe that people should not agree to be a bridesmaid if they cannot afford that and the other responsibilities (i.e. bachelorette party, shower, etc.) Not saying the OP is one of those people!
Post # 7
umm I’ve never heard of a bride paying for a BM’s dress. BMs pay for their own dresses and shoes. The bride might pay for makeup or a hair updo, but not the dress itself.
Post # 8
Side note: I also think that $300 is quite steep to make bridesmaids pay for a dress that they will likely wear only one time and it is the bride’s responsibility to not go overboard when choosing the BM dresses.
Post # 9
I’ve always paid for my own dress as a bridesmaid.
Post # 10
Tradition is definitely for bridesmaids to pay for their own dress, having the bride pay for it is actually a newer concept and should never be assumed. I’ve always paid for my own dress when I was a birdesmaid.
Post # 11
I’ve always paid for my own BM dress. The last one I wore was a $300 Vera Wang dress which I will never wear again.
I’m pretty sure that BM’s are responsible to pay for their dresses.
Post # 12
I agree with everyone else, that the cost of a BM dress is the responsiblity of the BM. I think an exception could be REALLY wanting someone to participate who you know has minimal funds. (I know we’re going to help with the costs for the groom’s party, because they’re all in financially challenged places).
I think paying for BM can be something you two can discuss, but it’s not standard. And it’s also a good chance to discuss what the BMs can afford, so you can make sure a reasonably priced dress is picked out. (And one that may not require too many alterations).
Post # 13
I was in a wedding, the bride wanted us to wear dresses that cost over $300.00. She offered to split the cost with us, thats the extent of when I’ve seen the bride pay for a dress.
Post # 14
I agree that usually the BM pays. If you are nervous about having funds for the dress, I’d have a talk with her. State that you understand that BMs usually pay for their own dresses, and you’re excited to be a part of her wedding, but you really only can afford to pay X on a dress. Hopefully the bride will work within your budget or take a hint that maybe she should include a portion (or all) of the BM dresses into her wedding budget.
Post # 15
I’ve been in two weddings, and I’ll be in a third in October. I’ve paid for every dress and alterations. BM’s are expected to buy their dresses and pay for alterations, and any other accessories for the dress, unless the bride decides to do that. Just like littlemissmoo said, if you can’t afford it (and the bachelorette, bridal shower, etc), you need to be upfront about it. Don’t wait till 2 months from the wedding to decide that you can’t attend things because you can’t afford it.
Post # 16
My BMs paid for their dresses and alterations. Because I realize being in a wedding is expensive, I paid for the hair and makeup as part of the wedding gift. I think if you paid for their dress you would not be expected to shell out on a big gift for them at the end.