Post # 1
Ok, my fiance and I are in a huge disagreement about tuxes/dresses for our bridesmaids and groomsmen. I always thought that they paid for their own, since I paid for every bridesmaid dress of the wedding’s I was in. He on the other hand says that we should pay and that he his friends always paid for the tux when he was in their weddings.
I am in a conundrum :S Please HELP!!
Post # 3
They always, always pay for their own apparel. The hair, makeup, fancy socks for the boys or anything “extra” is up to you. We gifted our boys with socks and a pocket square since our tux vendor charged extra (RIDICULOUS). But yes… standardly, unless the couple being wed are insanely rich and incredibly kind, the wedding party pays for their own.
Post # 4
@chelleyray: It is not required of the Bride and Groom to pay for the attire for the WP, but if it is in your budget, it is definitely a nice gesture.
If I had the extra money, I definitely would have paid for the BM dress and GM tux, but I don’t have the extra money.
Post # 5
Where I’m from, it is usual for the bride and groom to pay.
If you’re very specific about what you want your bridemaids, best man and ushers to wear then I think you should pay for it. If you’re choosing the colour and style, I think it’s only fair — who wants to pay for a dress that they’re not going to wear again? If you’re a lot more relaxed about what your wedding party wear or you are choosing very affordable options then I think it’s fine to ask for them to contribute towards the cost. I would still shoulder some of the cost myself — for instance, buying my bridesmaids’ shoes while they buy the dresses.
It’s hard to know what cash others have to spend on things like this so I would always pay to avoid any awkwardness.
We’ve chosen to have only one bridesmaid (my sister), two ushers (my FBILs), and one best man so we can afford to clothe all of them!
Post # 6
I always thought it to be very rude to ask the party to pay for their attire and accessories. It is literally saying ….”hey you get to have the honor of being in my wedding, if you pay”. I will be purchasing their things.
Post # 7
I think the norm is BMs and GMs pay their own. But also it is nice if you pay. Also I think always the most important thing is your own circle culture. Is it weird if you pay only GMs attire? Because we’re actually thinking to do the opposite. In his circle, all pay their own and they require specific suit and dresses. And he also bought suits and payed rental tuxes at their weddings. Not in my circle though. So we’re thinking to pay only dresses for my girls.
Post # 8
Normally BMs and GMs pay for their own. But I’ve noticed on here a lot of brides who have gone to paying for their girls’ dresses, hair, make up, shoes, and jewelry. I think it’s totally up to you but you should not feel obligated to pay for anything. The BMs should have known what they were getting into when they agreed to participate. That’s a lot of extra cash to shell out on top of everything else. I’d be $1000 richer if every bride had paid for my BM dress… Dang!
Post # 9
I think normally people pay for their own. DH and I paid for our girls dresses and the guys suits because we had it in the budget and what we wanted was expensive. I didn’t want any guilt over what we were choosing, so we paid.
Post # 10
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
We paid for our wedding party’s attire.
Post # 11
@lunalyra: Yes, in the UK, it’s common for bridal parties to be very small and for the bride and groom to pay.
However, in the US, it’s common to have larger parties (I’ve seen anywhere from 3 to nine on each side) and for the bridesmaids and groomsmen to pay for their own attire. FI has always paid for his own tux rentals, as have all of his groomsmen. My bridesmaids have always paid for their own dresses. I kept the cost of our dresses down and gave the girls a fabric, color, and site with over 300 dress styles to choose from. They chose styles that they liked and could afford. I gave them suggestions on shoes (points if they already had something in that color family), but they all ended up falling in love with the same pair (which were only $17). I gave them the option of having their hair and makeup done, as well.
Post # 12
@chelleyray: Around here it’s normal for the wedding party to pay for their own outfits and shoes. I paid for mine when I was a BM in a friend’s wedding a few years back. My BM has a very small budget ($100) and the dresses ended up coming to $162 each. I offered to pay anything for $100 on the dresses since they absolutely couldn’t. They will be paying for any alterations and their shoes though. I will be paying for their jewelry. Our groomsmen’s tuxes ended up coming to $167 each and they will be paying for their own. I have always been told that if the wedding party pays for their own attire then that is considered their ‘gift’ for the wedding, though I ended up getting my friend a gift anyways because to me it seemed like the correct thing to do.
Depending on your budget, I’d consider paying for them since they’ve always paid for his. Would it be ok to pay for their tuxes, but not the dresses since you two are in completely different positions?
Post # 13
It is a nice gesture, if you have the money – but it is totally unneccessary. I have always paid for my own attire when in a wedding, as has my fiance. I think it is what you agree to when you are asked to be a bridesmaid.
Post # 14
@chelleyray: Our BP paid for their own attire.
Post # 15
@Sea_Ashley: +1 I agree with this.
Post # 16
Where do you live? I’ve noticed in the US the party pays, in the UK the couple pays.