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Who plans most of your "dates" in your relationship?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
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    1.
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    Bumble bee
    Valhalla    June 26, 2010   Vancouver, British Columbia

    I use the term date loosely - more like who suggests most of the social stuff you do together. Like movies, a day at the park, beach, dinner date, a night out with friends etc. I thought I would ask because in my relationship it is definitely skewed towards me planning or suggesting most of what we do. Sometimes I find this a bit tiring - it would be nice to have Mr. Valhalla take the reigns more often to plan some fun for us! He is working on it though :)

    How about your relationship? Do you plan more? Is he always making plans? Or do you split it equally?

     
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    bellenga    July 31, 2010   Georgia

    T does for sure.  He always comes up with a plan for something.

    Usually after a long day of work I'm super tired and the last thing I want to do is plan a date.

    He's good like that altough sometimes I do!  (usually for holidays) 

     
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    Bumble bee
    cheerful    September 2009 - eloped  

    Definitely me! The husband has a block against planning and I can't stop the date ideas from flowing.

     
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    Sugar bee
    naangel55    June 20, 2009   Long Beach, CA

    Me!!! Im a planner by nature and he can wait until the day of something to make up his mind.  I plan all our little activities, what we do for dinner (though he has in input on this one), parties, etc.

     
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    cardigan    January 7, 2011   Austin, TX

    Definitely me! He generally won't plan anything unless I specifically ask him to.

     
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    Future Mrs. Martin    August 21, 2010   London Ontario Canada

    I think we both do it equally! But it's not so much planning it's more like hey do you want to do _______ tonight? But we equally suggest fun stuff to each other!

     
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    Busy bee
    lkbphmd    August 7, 2010   MN (ceremony in Omaha, NE)

    He does...and I have to admit he has come up with some great date nights/days including a lot of stuff I would have never thought of or would do on my own.  Only one date- he's a funeral director and it included work- was not such a big hit, but it is a night we still talk about.

     
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    Helper bee
    Akennedy01    September 24, 2011   KY

    Most of the time we just kind of come up with it together. If we feel like doing something we'll talk about what we could do and then decide. Sometimes he has work parties and he's terrible about giving me notice. On Friday he'll be like "Oh btw, we have Bob's party tomorrow." Which usually means I have to make some kind of dish lol.

     
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    KMSull    August 7, 2010   Lexington, KY (via Atlanta, GA)

    We're... kinda boring, actually. I think that's something we really need to get better about doing, planning fun stuff for us to do instead of going to our favorite sushi place and renting a movie (we like to snuggle!). Hmmm... need to jump on that. When we do actually do things, he usually comes up with the idea! Go him!

     
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    Busy bee
    CurlyDreamer    patiently waiting   Bay Area

    I do, always have, but then I basically have my kids 100% of the time so I have to plan around them. The Boy is pretty open to doing whatever I want. Usually, when we're kid free we just go to dinner and then come home to be alone with each other. 

    When I think about it, he's only planned like one thing we've done. I even planned the first date! He wanted to take me to dinner and a movie which is so NOT him, so I suggested going to a bar instead. Now I have to harass him and tell him he has to plan some date for us. lol... 

     
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    lonelycheese15    May 21, 2010   West Virginia

    When we're in the same city, we usually just wake up and say, "I feel like doing something today, how about you?" and it goes from there.  Neither one of us really plans anything.  =P

     
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    Honey bee
    JamaicaBride    May 14, 2011   Charlotte, NC

    We don't really do too much planning. His schedule is so crazy sometimes we just do things when we can. It's kind of hard b/c of the distance so we usually end up on the couch talking and gazing into each other's eyes....LOL. Exciting stuff huh?

     
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    CorgiTales    February 1, 2011  

    I'd say its about 2/3 me 1/3 him. He definitely suggests stuff sometimes, but the more frequent thing is me suggesting. Sometimes we both get frustrated and do the "what do you wanna do?" "I dunno, what do you wanna do?" "I don't care... you pick" "well I don't care either you pick..." hehe

     
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    Bumble bee
    pudding      

    He does!  Mr. Pudding thinks that it's very important for us to have a date night at least once a week.  Since I moved here about two months ago, I don't know many people in Vermont yet, so I don't get out of the house often.  It's his way of helping me feel integrated.

    If it was up to me, we'd be on the couch, eating Ben and Jerry's, and watching reality tv every night!

     
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    Bumble bee
    Valhalla    June 26, 2010   Vancouver, British Columbia

    Ah Corgi, I am familiar with the back and forth "what do you wanna do" "I don't care, what do you wanna do" battle. This usually happens when I am all out of ideas, and more often than not I either have to think up somthing or we end up doing nothing. Which sometimes is fine, but can also be frustrating.

    Miss Pudding - I also initially moved to British Columbia to be with Mr. Valhalla, but we were a bit different because we were both new here. It's a good thing we had each other! But sometimes I still felt socially isolated until I finally made some new friends. It was also major culture shock - being a Maritimer moving the the West Coast came with some changes!

     
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    Newbee
    ItsAgoFinally    1/29/2011   marysville, ohio

    he usually does.....but its usually the same ol same ol when i suggest something its usually something different or somewhere different, but i give him an a for effort..:)

     
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    His Barista    September 4, 2010   Spokane, WA

    I do about 3/4 of the time. He definitly suggests stuff sometime, just not as often as me.

     
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    Helper bee
    winter443    5/15/10   Atlanta

    My FI does most of the planning, it gets on his nerves sometimes that I don't plan more activities but I'm working at getting better with that.

     
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    Bumble bee
    Jaxx317    July 17, 2011   Brooklyn, NY/wedding in the Hudson Valley

    that would be me. even though i have no free time and work twice as much as he does :)

     
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    Worker bee
    MsBBerry    September 2009  

    I do. All the time. He won't even book tickets or hotels when we travel (even when he travels I do it for him!). In a way I like being in control of the choices but sometimes it's annoying when he expects me to keep coming up with ideas while all he does is rejects all of them without suggesting any.

     
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    Busy bee
    bamm    June 5th 2010/August 15th 2010   Seoul

    50/50!  We only get to see each other about twice a week right now.  Thursdays are always chill out night in front of the tv.  But we plan special snacks for each other (like I bake him a pie, or he buys me my fav Chinese beer).  We used to make a conscious effort to share the weekend date planning when we started dating.  However, now it naturally happens with either taking turns planning, or mutually coming up with a plan.  And then when we travel in Korea he does all the planning, and when we go to Canada I'm in charge of everything.

     

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