How do you procrastinate? (besdies WB of course!)
more by Valhalla
Etiquette Nightmare!
Are your holiday plans creating less-than holiday cheer?
more in Relationships
Pre-marital Counseling?
Can u delete bridesmaids?!?!?
more in Boards
Finally bought my dress! (Pics)

Who plans most of your "dates" in your relationship?

posted 1 week ago in Relationships
  • 2 Member(s) Subscribed To Topic
  •  
    1.
    Member
    267 posts
    Helper bee
    Valhalla   June 26, 2010  Vancouver, British Columbia

    I use the term date loosely - more like who suggests most of the social stuff you do together. Like movies, a day at the park, beach, dinner date, a night out with friends etc. I thought I would ask because in my relationship it is definitely skewed towards me planning or suggesting most of what we do. Sometimes I find this a bit tiring - it would be nice to have Mr. Valhalla take the reigns more often to plan some fun for us! He is working on it though :)

    How about your relationship? Do you plan more? Is he always making plans? Or do you split it equally?

     
    2.
    Hostess
    4,605 posts
    Honey bee
    bellenga   Next Summer..2010! Can't wait!  North of Atlanta, Georgia

    T does for sure.  He always comes up with a plan for something.

    Usually after a long day of work I'm super tired and the last thing I want to do is plan a date.

    He's good like that altough sometimes I do!  (usually for holidays) 

     
    3.
    Member
    1,328 posts
    Bumble bee
    cheerful   September 2009 - eloped  

    Definitely me! The husband has a block against planning and I can't stop the date ideas from flowing.

     
    4.
    Hostess
    1,555 posts
    Bumble bee
    naangel55   June 20, 2009  Long Beach, CA

    Me!!! Im a planner by nature and he can wait until the day of something to make up his mind.  I plan all our little activities, what we do for dinner (though he has in input on this one), parties, etc.

     
    5.
    Member
    1,423 posts
    Bumble bee
    amanda.lynn   1/07/2011  Austin, Tx

    Definitely me! He generally won't plan anything unless I specifically ask him to.

     
    6.
    Member
    1,758 posts
    Buzzing bee
    Future Mrs. Martin   Aug 21 2010  London Ontario Canada

    I think we both do it equally! But it's not so much planning it's more like hey do you want to do _______ tonight? But we equally suggest fun stuff to each other!

     
    7.
    Member Icon
    Member
    179 posts
    Blushing bee
    lkbphmd   August 7, 2010  MN (ceremony in Omaha, NE)

    He does...and I have to admit he has come up with some great date nights/days including a lot of stuff I would have never thought of or would do on my own.  Only one date- he's a funeral director and it included work- was not such a big hit, but it is a night we still talk about.

     
    8.
    Member Icon
    Member
    182 posts
    Blushing bee
    Akennedy01     KY

    Most of the time we just kind of come up with it together. If we feel like doing something we'll talk about what we could do and then decide. Sometimes he has work parties and he's terrible about giving me notice. On Friday he'll be like "Oh btw, we have Bob's party tomorrow." Which usually means I have to make some kind of dish lol.

     
    9.
    Member
    2,328 posts
    Buzzing bee
    KMSull     Lexington, KY (via Atlanta, GA)

    We're... kinda boring, actually. I think that's something we really need to get better about doing, planning fun stuff for us to do instead of going to our favorite sushi place and renting a movie (we like to snuggle!). Hmmm... need to jump on that. When we do actually do things, he usually comes up with the idea! Go him!

     
    10.
    Member
    173 posts
    Blushing bee
    CurlyDreamer   patiently waiting  Bay Area

    I do, always have, but then I basically have my kids 100% of the time so I have to plan around them. The Boy is pretty open to doing whatever I want. Usually, when we're kid free we just go to dinner and then come home to be alone with each other. 

    When I think about it, he's only planned like one thing we've done. I even planned the first date! He wanted to take me to dinner and a movie which is so NOT him, so I suggested going to a bar instead. Now I have to harass him and tell him he has to plan some date for us. lol... 

     
    11.
    Member Icon
    Member
    52 posts
    Worker bee
    lonelycheese15   October 31, 2010  West Virginia

    When we're in the same city, we usually just wake up and say, "I feel like doing something today, how about you?" and it goes from there.  Neither one of us really plans anything.  =P

     
    12.
    Member
    545 posts
    Busy bee
    JamaicaBride   December 2009  Charlotte, NC

    We don't really do too much planning. His schedule is so crazy sometimes we just do things when we can. It's kind of hard b/c of the distance so we usually end up on the couch talking and gazing into each other's eyes....LOL. Exciting stuff huh?

     
    13.
    Member
    1,618 posts
    Bumble bee
    CorgiTales   Winter 2010/2011?  Columbus, Ohio

    I'd say its about 2/3 me 1/3 him. He definitely suggests stuff sometimes, but the more frequent thing is me suggesting. Sometimes we both get frustrated and do the "what do you wanna do?" "I dunno, what do you wanna do?" "I don't care... you pick" "well I don't care either you pick..." hehe

     
    14.
    Bee Icon
    Bee
    240 posts
    Helper bee
    pudding     

    He does!  Mr. Pudding thinks that it's very important for us to have a date night at least once a week.  Since I moved here about two months ago, I don't know many people in Vermont yet, so I don't get out of the house often.  It's his way of helping me feel integrated.

    If it was up to me, we'd be on the couch, eating Ben and Jerry's, and watching reality tv every night!

     
    15.
    Member
    267 posts
    Helper bee
    Valhalla   June 26, 2010  Vancouver, British Columbia

    Ah Corgi, I am familiar with the back and forth "what do you wanna do" "I don't care, what do you wanna do" battle. This usually happens when I am all out of ideas, and more often than not I either have to think up somthing or we end up doing nothing. Which sometimes is fine, but can also be frustrating.

    Miss Pudding - I also initially moved to British Columbia to be with Mr. Valhalla, but we were a bit different because we were both new here. It's a good thing we had each other! But sometimes I still felt socially isolated until I finally made some new friends. It was also major culture shock - being a Maritimer moving the the West Coast came with some changes!

     
    16.
    Member
    18 posts
    Newbee
    ItsAgoFinally   1/29/2011  marysville, ohio

    he usually does.....but its usually the same ol same ol when i suggest something its usually something different or somewhere different, but i give him an a for effort..:)

     
    17.
    Member
    1,683 posts
    Bumble bee
    His Barista   09/04/2010  Portland, OR

    I do about 3/4 of the time. He definitly suggests stuff sometime, just not as often as me.

     
    18.
    Member Icon
    Member
    38 posts
    Newbee
    winter443   5/15/10  Atlanta

    My FI does most of the planning, it gets on his nerves sometimes that I don't plan more activities but I'm working at getting better with that.

     
    19.
    Member
    294 posts
    Helper bee
    Jaxx317     Broolyn, NY

    that would be me. even though i have no free time and work twice as much as he does :)

     
    20.
    Member Icon
    Member
    29 posts
    Newbee
    Anniephd   09/09/09  New York

    I do. All the time. He won't even book tickets or hotels when we travel (even when he travels I do it for him!). In a way I like being in control of the choices but sometimes it's annoying when he expects me to keep coming up with ideas while all he does is rejects all of them without suggesting any.

     
    21.
    Member
    203 posts
    Helper bee
    bamm   June 5th 2010/August 15th 2010  Seoul

    50/50!  We only get to see each other about twice a week right now.  Thursdays are always chill out night in front of the tv.  But we plan special snacks for each other (like I bake him a pie, or he buys me my fav Chinese beer).  We used to make a conscious effort to share the weekend date planning when we started dating.  However, now it naturally happens with either taking turns planning, or mutually coming up with a plan.  And then when we travel in Korea he does all the planning, and when we go to Canada I'm in charge of everything.

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.





    Visit our sister sites Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Fertile Thoughts
    Infertility Support
    Copyright 2004-2009, eHarmony, Inc.
     


    Sponsors
    Local Boards


    Find RegistryFind RegistryFind Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    Lillindy 11
    marci_607 11
    crebre80 6
    luli29 6
    amanda.lynn 6
    KMSull 6
    waitingbee 6
    cinemaparadiso 5
    Msmacu 5
    phedre 5

    Relationships

    User Posts Today
    marci_607 1
    cinemaparadiso 1
    lilyfaith 1
    waitingbee 1

    More