Post # 1
My Fiance asked three friends to be in our wedding but didn’t ask any of them to be the best man as he didn’t feel like he could choose between them which one was “best.” Two are local, one is Out of Town. The other day he was feeling a little sad that my bridesmaids are working together to plan a bachelorette party for me, and wondering if he should be planning some sort of bachelor party for himself? He had a hard time even asking these guys to be in the wedding and would never think of asking them to plan something on his behalf (very self-effacing, my FI).
Personally, I’m wondering if I should say something to the two local guys myself? The only time a b-party would work would be right after our rehersal dinner due to Out of Town guests flying in, so I feel like I should give them that information at least. They are good enough friends of mine that I feel I could get away with it, especially since one asked me specifically if he could do anything to help. Is this a weird thing for me to do, or should I be staying out of it? My fiance has not told them there is no best man, btw, and none of the three know each other.
Post # 3
I think your fiance needs to at least send an email to all three guys to introduce them to one another. They are obviously not going to plan anything if they don’t know each other. They all need to know that there is no best man, so your fiance needs to communicate that.
It would be nice if your fiance would plan something for the guys to all get to know each other. It wouldn’t really be a bachelor party, per se, but I don’t think he should expect them to throw him a party if they don’t know each other.
But I would NOT want my fiance to have his bachelor party the night before the wedding. That would either be not very fun, or a disaster the next day.
Post # 4
Well, the bachelor party doesn’t have to be just the guys in the wedding party- do Fiance have other local friends who are invited to the wedding? It’s unfortunate that one of the Groomsmen is not local, but sometimes that happens. My FI’s best man lives in NYC and there’s no way that he can help plan the bachelor party or even attend- but that’s kind of how it goes sometimes.
I would talk to the local guys about putting something together for your Fiance. Have them as Fiance for a list of buddies to invite. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate Vegas trip- it can be as simple as a boys night out or a weekend camping trip, whatever is more your guy’s “thing”.
Post # 5
Is it possible that the guys don’t know that there is no best man? If Fiance didn’t mention it and they don’t know each other they might all assume that someone else is the best man and is planning. I’d say introduce them – at very least the local two – and let them know what’s going on. I’m sure they’ll pick things up from there.
Post # 6
I don’t think nudging them along would be untoward – but are you sure your Fiance wants a bachelor party? Maybe check to be sure it’s something he’s interested in before moving forward to be sure he doesn’t feel as though he somehow inconvenienced people by asking them to plan an event.
Post # 7
I think all 3 guys can work together to plan it or whichever ones take over will do it. My Fiance was not the best man in his friends wedding recently but he took over all planning for the bachelor party. The groom did not ask him to do this, he just did it because no one else was doing anything! I think if your wedding is coming up soon (like the next couple of months) then maybe you should just have your Fiance ask his friends what is going on for the bachelor party. If its still a ways away I wouldn’t worry about it right now!
Post # 8
Oh and I wanted to mention that I would NOT be the one to say anything to his friends about the bachelor party. Its something that is between your Fiance and his groomsman. I think if you call or text or email them about it they are just going to get on your FIs case. Let your Fiance do the handling of this situation!
Post # 9
drop a hint, it couldn’t hurt…especially since they don’t know there isn’t a best man. They may be waiting for someone to contact them about it.
now, by this, I don’t mean “hey (groom’s man), Fiance wants a bachelor party. get to it!”lol
more like, in casual conversation, mention that there is no specific Best Man to do the usual Best Man things.
key word from above was HINT…lol