(Closed) Who plans the bachelorette party?

posted 9 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
275 posts
Helper bee

Hm, not sure –

Could your mom or an aunt plan your shower and then have your MOH plan the bachelorette party instead?

Post # 4
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee

usually the MOH is the head planner and delegates to the BMs.  that is pretty disappointing that no one is stepping up to do it.  have you asked why they don’t want to?  is it a money issue or something else?  do you have any fun friends who are not BMs that might step in?  if it came down to it you could make the dinner reservation and guest list and go from there.  i hope your friends come through.  

Post # 5
Member
275 posts
Helper bee

You could also plan it (atypical I know) but you could use it as a way to say thank you to all your girls.

Post # 6
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

You could also tell your MOH that you’re planning a wine and cheese evening or dinner outing for all of the girls, and maybe dancing after (you plan it all), but that you’d like her to manage RSVPs on your behalf.  That takes care of the stress she might not want to take on, and you get your party, and it doesn’t look like you’re throwing it yourself. 

Post # 7
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

That’s pretty rough that none of your girls are voluteering to plan it!  In every wedding I’ve been in, the bridesmaids all split up the planning of the bachelorette party.  Maybe you could try confiding in one of your girls that you’re bummed that it looks like you’re not going to have a bachelorette party, and you’re not sure what to do.  I’d say something like, "I’d like to have a girl’s night out, but I’m not sure if it’s ok for me to plan it myself…" Then, see what she says.  I know that if I said that to my bridesmaids, they’d get the hint and throw something together for me.  It’s tough because you don’t want to demand a party, but it sounds like your bridesmaids aren’t going to do it on their own.  Good luck, and keep us posted on how it turns out!  If worse comes to worse, I say organize something yourself!  ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

WHAT?! That’s her JOB! ๐Ÿ˜‰

If none of my bms wanted to plan it, though, and I really wanted one, I’d plan it myself… to say "thank you" to them for helping out with the wedding. Usually this is done with a tea or luncheon, but why should they get tea if they’re not giving you alcohol? ๐Ÿ˜‰

Good luck and have fun!

Post # 9
Member
2820 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Huh. Well…normally the MOH would plan in, but if she doesn’t want to, then you can always plan it, or ask another friend (who’s not in the bridal party, since they don’t seem interested, but you might want to ask them anyways) to do it. =) If worst comes to worst, you could always try to convince your MOH to do a combination bachelorette party/shower.

Post # 10
Member
2820 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

(And by combination bachelorette-shower, I mean that you could have an evening shower where you rent ot a back room at a bar/club, and then you’ll have drinks, etc. and you could have your gift opening. However, I wouldn’t suggest strippers if your mom/grandma/etc. is going to be there.)

Post # 11
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Awww that sucks that no one is stepping up to the plate for you! That’s part of the deal. I say ask MOH to do the bachelorette party instead of the shower and have your mom/female relatives do your shower instead. If she still doesn’t seem at all interested and neither do your BMs then, umm, why are they your bridal party?

Post # 12
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee

Like the others mentioned, usually your MOH and BM would plan it.  However, in this situation, I like Ms. Gloss’s idea of planning it yourself.  Just because the gals aren’t planning it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go out and celebrate.

Post # 13
Member
202 posts
Helper bee

I’m not an old fashioned girl so I do not agree that its anyone’s JOB to do anything with the wedding.  It would have been wonderful for her to be able to plan both a shower and a bachelorette party as it is what a MOH typically does, but many women do not have the time/energy/money to do these above and beyond all of the other roles.

I think that you should talk with your other BMs about the party, outlining what you thought the night would be about. (Going out dancing? Wine and cheese? Spending one on one time with your favorite ladies.) Planning this party might be a daunting task, so outlining your wishes might give one of your BM’s a chance to jump on it and save the day.  And, if no one can – I say you should throw the party for yourself and that way it will definitely be everything you wanted and more ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 14
Member
355 posts
Helper bee

Is the shower in the afternoon?  Maybe you could arrange for dinner/drinks later that night as a thank you. 

Post # 15
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Unfortuantely, the whole BMs planning a bachelorette party kind of gets to me.  The way I see it, women got together and said, “Hey how come the guys get this fun night and we don’t?”  So they started this trend of the bachelorette.  That’s all fine.  But the tradition of bridal showers didn’t seem to fade away.  (Maybe because it involves getting presents.)  I just don’t think it’s fair to  BMs to ask them to pay for so much…attire, shower, hair, bachelorette.  Especially since, the GMs don’t need to invest nearly as much time or money for their part.  And the biggest effort GMs they put into their role, brides ended up adding that to their BMs agenda.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with going out.  But if your BMs aren’t wanting to plan one, I think you should just plan it yourself.  If you can’t pay for it, maybe just make it casual and ask the girls you want, if they like to get together and go to a club, or a wine tasting.  Everyone can just pay their own way.  If money is an issue, host a girl party in your home.   I think what you’re wanting is having fun with everyone.   I think you’ll enjoy it, even if it has to be really simple and laid back.

Post # 16
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@Tanya- I kind of agree. I am not quite engaged yet so I obviously haven’t asked bridesmaids. But, I almost feel badly asking them because there is so much involved and my friend’s are busy. I’d be thrilled if my BMs threw me a shower or bachelorette party, but I’m certainly not expecting one.

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