Who Plans The Rehearsal Dinner?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@BM-is-a-TERRIBLE-acronym:  Well…. I am planning my rehearsal dinner and his parents are paying for it lol I know that it is only one but still 🙂

Post # 4
Member
7098 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Generally if the groom’s parents are paying they get to plan most of it. Of course it would be nice if they would consult with the bride though.

Post # 5
Member
2529 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

@BM-is-a-TERRIBLE-acronym:  Traditionally, yes, the in-laws plan the rehearsal dinner. These days that is less common, but it is definitely not something she can say “no” to without causing issues (unless her FMIL is very easy-going). This is really the only time her FI’s famiy gets to do anything related to the wedding, so she should just let it go.

P.S. I agree BM is a terrible acronym

Post # 6
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

My MIL planned the whole thing. I had no problen with that. It was simple and small..about 18 people. We were so grateful bc she also threw me a bridal shower. 

Normally i think the bride and groom plan it if no one else is throwing it. Its really not necessary, but I was glad I had one

What is necessary is the actusl rehearsal 

Post # 7
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here… lol

When it comes to “traditional” Etiquette, the Brides Parents used to Host / Pay for the Wedding… and the Grooms Parents used to Host / Pay for the Rehearsal Dinner

Nowadays, with more and more Couples organizing & paying for their own Weddings… they tend to act as the Hosts at the Wedding… and sometimes even the Rehearsal Dinner

BUT ONLY IF the Grooms Parents don’t wish to fulfil the “traditional” role.

More often than not tho, the Grooms Parents come thru in some form… either paying or Hosting.

You need to check with the Bride to see what her Fiancé has to say about this situation in regards to his Parents

From the sounds of things, it seems like his Parents expect to take the traditional route and be the Hosts (paying or not)

— — —

When it comes to the Guest List for the Rehearsal Dinner… I pass along the following as it might prove helpful:

SHORT LIST…

Groom’s Parents who are the Hosts

Bride & Groom (Guests of Honour)

Bride’s Parents

All the Bridal Party (and their SOs)

Bridal Party Children – such as … Jr. Bridesmaids, Flower Girls, Ring Bearer (and their Parents)

The Wedding Officiant (and Spouse if they have one)

Any one who has a “special” role in the Wedding… Reader, Soloist, Musicians (and their SOs)

Siblings of the Bride & Groom (and their SOs)

LONG LIST

Add on…

Grand Parents, God Parents, and Any Special Guests who are coming to the Wedding (like Aunt Martha & Uncle Phil who flew in from Australia)

And in some cases… where money isn’t a concern… the Rehearsal Dinner can also be open to all the Out of Town Guests who are in for the evening before the  Wedding

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 8
Member
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015 - On a Cliff Overlooking the Bay, Florida

My FIL’s are hosting an planning the rehersal dinner. They got the menu and let us select one of the 2 dinner selections (our rehersal will be during lent so seafood has to be one dish) but they have done everything else for the rehearsal dinner. our dinner will be for the bridal party and all out of town guest.

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